By John Kass

October 2, 2024

That Vice-Presidential debate between Republican Senator J.D. Vance and Democrat Minnesota Gov. Tampon Tim was scheduled for Tuesday, Oct. 1.

And the left-wing corporate media will proclaim Walz a winner, even if all he does is burp and tell more lies about where he was during the Tiananmen Square Massacre.

My scheduling problem is this: Today we are awarding the September Moutza of the Month as the hordes of idiots reach to the horizon.

There will be time enough for weird Tampon Tim. Promise.

September was also the month that Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson killed the ShotSpotter contract by letting the contract lapse. The Chicago Sun-Times reported  that it cost 8.6 million dollars per year.

And the bodies hit the floor.

The Mayor of Chicago may be a fool. But he is an expert practitioner of the deadly sin of omission, as are Chicago voters who sat on their hands to elect Johnson, which was just as the Chicago Teachers Union wanted. Now they have him. Enjoy.

ShotSpotter technology was developed to fight the street gang wars and arrest the shooters. But most of the shooters were black and Latino gang members.

Uh oh Mayor Brandon. Uh oh.

He didn’t want them arrested and began complaining that arresting black and Latino gang members was “over policing.” Chicago media offered him cover to confuse the issue. Then he killed ShotSpotter.

And the bodies began piling up as a result.

Oh, and Kamala Harris and her tax on unrealized capital gains would ruin the economy, but it doesn’t seem to worry CNN, MSNBC or other left wing media.

And the Chicago White Sox became the most pathetic team in history.

Meanwhile, former Mayor Lori Lightfoot continued to make a fool of herself, suggesting that critics of White Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf are anti-Semetic.

Lori, didn’t you do enough to kill Chicago when you panicked during the Black Lives Matter riots and let BLM destroy downtown, and when you endorsed State’s Attorney Kim Foxx, D-Jussie Smollett?

Blow on it Lori.

Most of you know how this Moutza thing works. If you don’t know by now, well, figure it out.

We fight the Idiocracy by bestowing the Golden Moutza of shame. This is the same hand-signal of thrusted open palms and fingers spread wide that my ancestors hurled at caged criminals in old Constantinople.

A few pointy headed lefties—including an odious former colleague at the “paper” objected. But I gave him one Moutza after another until Eric finally shut up.

Yeah, the Moutza is personal.

But I’ve got this thing and it’s bleepin’ golden.

And this is how it is delivered.

“We personify hurricanes with names,” writes reader Cherie Haigley, “so if you ever award the precious Moutza to a non-human, my vote goes to that bitch Helene.”

Done.

But can hurricanes feel the sting of shame?

Hundreds, if not thousands of Americans have already been killed by the hurricane. Hundreds of thousands of Americans have been hurt, their homes and schools and businesses destroyed by Helene, in North Carolina, Florida, Tennesee, Georgia and elsewhere.

On TV I watched a home floating down a raging flood-swollen river, as if it was a piece of broken cork.

The poor souls there have already gone days without drinking water, without food and electric power. The damp and disease will soon take their toll on the old and the young.

And our obviously senile President Joe Biden—who spent days and days at the beach while the people of North Carolina were drowning in their homes—says he has a phone.

But Biden says he won’t help settle the looming longshoreman’s strike.

A strike would cripple the supply chain even though storm savaged Americans need those supplies now. And it will cause prices to increase.

In supporting the longshoremen, Old China Joe acts as if he’s the AFL-CIO president, not the American president.

Meanwhile former Republican President Donald J. Trump brought supplies to Georgia. He brought the media. He brought those supplies and media attention to Samaritan’s Purse, the Evangelical Christian emergency charity of the Rev. Franklin Graham.

And what of Trump’s Democrat opponent Kamala Harris?

She was in Vegas campaigning having her butt smooched while the victims of Helene were ignored by the Biden-Harris administration. Later Kamala offered a photo op of concern.

Consider this X post from Mollie Hemingway editor-in-chief of my favorite conservative journal, The Federalist.

“This is the most VEEP-like photo ever” wrote Hemingway in her post. “pretending to be on a phone call but forgetting to plug in the antiquated earphones while pretending to write on a blank piece of paper instead of actually doing anything.”

This is the most VEEP-like photo ever — pretending to be on a phone call but forgetting to plug in the antiquated earphones while pretending to write on a blank piece of paper instead of actually doing anything. https://t.co/tkzHPplKhe

— Mollie (@MZHemingway) September 30, 2024

Oh, Kamala.

Once again you beclown yourself.

Forgetting to plug in the antiquated earphones while pretending to write on a blank piece of paper?

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Mollie is right. It is the most VEEP-like photo ever.

And blank paper? Really?

Loyal readers like the perceptive Tom Winike knows Kamala’s Secret: She has  fewer brains than Caligula’s Horse. Does she think the American people are stupid? Yes. Only a headless chicken who knows that the corrupt establishment media will protect her would do such a stupid thing and say such STOOOPID things.

“I nominate Gov. Pritzker as always, just because! NAH!” says Karen Dombroviak-Kuban.

Enjoy. Skinny Alexander Soros the son makes Gov. Jabba the Hutt seem even fatter, if possible.

Am I not a river to my people?

“JD Vance deserves a moutza for knowingly spreading the lie about Haitian immigrants eating peoples pets,” writes my liberal friend Matt Latourette. “Ironically the only person caught eating a cat was an American citizen. Why demonize people who are legally here? Nah to you JD”

Wait a minute…Did you say “Why demonize people who are legally here?”

Isn’t that exactly what Democrats and the corrupt corporate media have been doing to Trump voters for the past four years at least?

They’ve been demonizing 75-85 million Republicans day after day, calling us fascists and deplorables and reprehensibles and weird? What do you do with people like that? Do you line them up on Joe Biden’s red wall and shoot them?

But calmer heads prevailed.

“Can it be anyone BUT Shotspotter Brandon?” said reader David Kleckner. “NAH!, I don’t think so.”

Have you heard about Brandon’s Bodies?

They keep piling up.

Brandon’s Bodies is a new feature of the CWB Chicago.

CWB is the must-read go-to news site for crime news, especially since the newspapers don’t want to cover crime for fear of offending race hustlers, and the mayor got rid of shot spotter so cops won’t be able to find and arrest all those wayward yutes pulling the triggers.

But CWB has come up with an ingenious feature:

Brandon’s Bodies.

“As of 12:01 a.m. on September 23, 2024, Chicago terminated its relationship with ShotSpotter, a gunfire detection system deployed in 12 of the city’s most violence-impacted neighborhoods,” writes CWB. “ShotSpotter pinpointed the locations of suspected gunfire to exact street addresses and locations within those addresses, such as “in the alley,” “on the sidewalk,” and “on the side of the house.”

“Mayor Brandon Johnson stubbornly refused to reconsider his decision to dismantle the system even though the vast majority of aldermen, many citizens, victims’ advocates, and his handpicked police superintendent asked for it to remain in place.

“On this page, CWBChicago tracks incidents of people being found shot in areas previously served by ShotSpotter where the technology, had it not been dismantled, could have played a critical, helpful role. The most common scenarios are likely to be people being found shot without corresponding 911 calls of shots fired and people being found shot in areas where 911 callers provided inaccurate or overly broad locations of gunfire.”

The CWB website goes on to count the human bodies and identify the victims.

So far there are five. But there will be more. And every one of them should be placed in the lap of Mayor Panic Attacks.

So Mayor Brandon Johnson, old China Joe Biden is exempt from receiving this award.

But you’re not exempt, Mayor Johnson. You’re a Democrat machine hack taking orders from the CTU’s Stacy Davis Gates. You’re destroying what’s left of the city.

Lift up that fat cherubic face or I’ll pull it up by your chinny-chin-chin.

You’ve worked hard to earn this Golden Moutza for September. Give me your address and I’ll send you a Golden Moutza coffee cup.

Mayor, you didn’t want to “over-police” and arrest black and brown gang-bangers?

Well guess what, you idiot? Their victims are mostly black and brown too. The sorrow and suffering is felt keenly in black and brown neighborhoods. Don’t they deserve the same kind of public safety that you’d give to Boss Toni?

The palm of my hand has four fingers and a thumb, to count the bodies. There will be more.

And the Golden Moutza of September is yours to keep.

Ready?

Nah! And Nah! NAH! Nah and NAAAHHH!

More to come vlaka (idiot)

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About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.