By John Kass

Sunday June 1, 2025

You ever see Democrat Gov. Tim Walz prancing and mincing out on a stage like Bud Lite spokesmodel Dylan Mulvaney?

Walz waving his pudgy little “jazz hands” palms forward, smiling at his adoring fans? As if he was giving the Moutza to his adoring chumbolones?

No.

Sorry. But that’s not the Moutza.

That’s just a dweeb male impersonator who goes pheasant hunting to play the he-man role for voters, though he doesn’t even know how to load his fancy shotgun.

The true technique for the moutza is well known, from the time of the Byzantines giving it to the condemned criminals destined for head lopping. And all the Greek diner owners like Mr. Panos. Just don’t ask to date his daughter Christina.

The open palm, fingers spread and a hearty shout of NAH PARTA! (Here take them) or FEESAH ETHO ERIC!! (Blow on it Eric).

I almost gave one to President Trump for commuting the federal life sentence of Chicago gangster Larry Hoover. But  presidents are exempt from the Golden Moutza. Biden and Obama were exempt, and Trump is exempt. Oddly, as the DOJ smiles on the Gangster Disciple king, they want the skinny old Irish politician, Boss Madigan, 83, to die in prison. They’re seeking 12.5 years in prison for his corruption conviction. I’m no fan of Madigan, but that’s a death sentence.

So now it’s up to Gov. Toilets (JB Pritzker) to release the Gangster Disciple from state prison. If Pritzker wants to make his political enforcer and Hoover associate Gator Bradley happy, he has the power. Show us how strong you are JB.

Democrats are desperate for the award after the crap they put the country through in the Biden senility saga, but the Republicans demand it as well, especially those blue-state Republicans demanding tax breaks on their high state and local tax deductions.

Hey moron move to a low tax state, don’t make the rest of us pay for your political happiness.

Today we’re awarding the coveted Golden Moutza of the Month. You know how this works. Readers of johnkassnews.com find me on social media toward the end of the month and nominate their moutza-worthy idiots who stretched to the far horizons.

The idiots, fools, morons and chumbolones are legions.

Marilou Wilschke

JAKE TAPPER. If the Moutza did not exist, the Greeks would have invented it for him. First, Jake actively participates in the worst political coverup this country has ever seen. Then he writes a tell-all book exposing the coverup. Finally, Jake plays all of us as idiots with the excuse that he wants to make sure a coverup like this never happens again.

Well, Jake, of all the Moutzes in the world, you are the most Moutzaish. NAH! FEESAH ETHO!

Martha Strawbridge

Is full contact against the moutza rules? Because if not, I think French Prime Minister Macron’s wife has already cemented the MOTM for him. Nah! With a sinusoidal shove.

Those Macron Slap memes just won’t stop! 

Danny Carlino

Mayor Haircut Pt. 2 for touting the generosity of MY PEOPLE. He’s referring to Chicagoans, right? I wonder. Well, HE deserves a VERY GENEROUS dose of the hand to blow on.

He’s a racist fool, yes. But supported by media. I see columnists approving of his naked racism because, like them, he hates President Trump. And he’ll ride that proudly to wedge himself into the runoff as he and Boss Preckwinkle and the other leftists destroy the city. He figures if he makes the runoff against one of those weak white shadows, he’ll win. The city would die, but he’ll be top of the world, ma!!!

Dennis Byrne

Dr Jill for sure. Nah

Dennis, she’s the new Edith Wilson of our American nightmare. P.S. I read you for years.

Rod Wapole

Waltz and the democrats honoring George Floyd in a Memorial Day speech?

Sue Pelinski

I nominate the Chicago News and Television media who gave us more of their attention to George Floyd this Memorial Day than those Americans who gave their lives for the love our Country!

Ed Sherman

I think the people of Lagrange deserve a Moutza For voting by a two to one margin to raise our property taxes. Nah!

Ed, LaGrange was a great community, as was my old town of Western Springs next door. No more. The AWFLs (Angry White Female Lefties) run it now. They got rid of U.S. Rep. Dan Lipinski and ushered in the reign of the flesh-eating harpies. They all watch “The View.” Think of it this way: You can no longer afford your home, but at least you have those “Hate Has No Home Here” signs.

Craig Lofgren

Mayor Brandon Johnson for issuing a Memorial Day video to celebrate Happy African day and not mentioning or doing the same for our soldiers.

He’s lost his mind.

Bob Kit

The members of the CTU for voting in by 2/3rds majority, the one group that has shown a complete lack of care for children and taxpayers. Nah! Feeso!!!!

Nancy Himmes

Good Lord! How to pick just one? Although Brandon Johnson and JB Pritzker are monthly favorites, I think we need to go with Jake the Snake Tapper. He is representative of the mainstream media for their incessant lying and Leftist bias that we have had to put up with. They have no shame. Show some contrition, Jake! Feesa Etho! And NO, we will not buy your book!

Don Rudny

I nominate all those who are buying Jake Tapper’s book “Original Sin” and making it an online best seller. Joe’s mental decline was no secret to anyone who watched him for four years. The book may have been worth reading if Jake told us about the media’s involvement in the coverup of his dementia.

Nah! and Fessah Etho to those who think this book is a big revelation.

Pete Sremac

John, this month has a bumper crop of morons, I didn’t know where to begin. Fake Tapper now admitting the Biden was in decline, Nah! Mayor BJ admitting that he has preferred hiring practices that are illegal, Nah!

Our Governor on the verge of approving new taxes on services, Nah!

John, my head is going to explode! Nah!

Larry Novak

Jabba the Pritz, Commodius Maximus of Ill-annoy, deserves it for tax upon tax, upon tax, upon (well you get it). NAH!

I get it. And so do the residents of Naples Florida, in Arizona, and Utah. We get it. And that’s why so many of us left Illinois. Getting squeezed dry by tax-happy Marxists is no way to live.

And while there are many qualified nominees for this award, and as we have seen, politicians of both parties have sought it.  But through it all, there is one truth:

Jake Tapper is everything wrong with what we call media.

He’s no journalist. He’s eviscerated my profession. And he was helped by his network, CNN and by the others of the legacy corporate media. From CNN to the New York Times and the Washington Post, from MSNBC to CBS, ABC, NBC, National Public Radio, and all the other lickspittles who protected the senile Joe Biden as the Democratic elite, served by Tapper, stole the American presidency. And throw in “the paper” and Chicago NPR Times into that Socialist Stew.

And ladling all that on plates for the American breakfast table is Tapper, the boss whore of the Potomac.

He is without shame.

Think of what he’s done, including all the times he whined that he didn’t care about the money from his b.s. book. And think of first daughter-in-law Lara Trump talking about Tapper’s “private apology” after he publicly berated her on the air for daring to question Joe Biden’s mental acuity.

“Jake Tapper called me about two months ago, actually,” Lara, the wife of Eric Trump, recounted on Fox News’ “The Ingraham Angle.”

“Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson released their book, Original Sin, [last week]. And they tried to pretend as though this was an exposé of the massive cover-up. But the fact remains: The American people had known for four years that Joe Biden was cognitively declin[ing]. The only thing they didn’t know was who — whether it was in the White House or Joe Biden’s inner circle — was involved in that deception and cover-up. The only new piece of information that Tapper and Thompson could have offered us was names. And you know what they didn’t give us? Names,” The Federalist’s Brianna Lyman said on Fox News.

The American people need accurate information and analysis. But after what you’ve done, who will reach to journalism for the news? After Fauci’s lies who will look for public health experts to help us deal with epidemics? And after Tapper, who will look to the news in our time of need?

Jake, you’re a propagandist, and a liar. You’re the fake. You haven’t “revealed” the true Biden. You reveal nothing. We all saw what was happening. We knew he was a puddle of goo. You said he was right, and you trashed anyone who dared question his senility. You’re the fake, Jake.

But this mouza is real. I hope it stings forever for what you’ve done to journalism and to our country.

And it’s bleepin golden.

In the face, between the eyes. Just slink away, your tail between your legs, telling us lies that only you believe. And chew on this Golden Moutza of May. Does it taste good, Jake?

NAH!!

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About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.

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