Behold the Golden Moutza of May, But It Sure Doesn’t Smell Like Spring.
By John Kass
Sunday June 1, 2025
You ever see Democrat Gov. Tim Walz prancing and mincing out on a stage like Bud Lite spokesmodel Dylan Mulvaney?
Walz waving his pudgy little “jazz hands” palms forward, smiling at his adoring fans? As if he was giving the Moutza to his adoring chumbolones?
No.
Sorry. But that’s not the Moutza.
That’s just a dweeb male impersonator who goes pheasant hunting to play the he-man role for voters, though he doesn’t even know how to load his fancy shotgun.
The true technique for the moutza is well known, from the time of the Byzantines giving it to the condemned criminals destined for head lopping. And all the Greek diner owners like Mr. Panos. Just don’t ask to date his daughter Christina.
The open palm, fingers spread and a hearty shout of NAH PARTA! (Here take them) or FEESAH ETHO ERIC!! (Blow on it Eric).
I almost gave one to President Trump for commuting the federal life sentence of Chicago gangster Larry Hoover. But presidents are exempt from the Golden Moutza. Biden and Obama were exempt, and Trump is exempt. Oddly, as the DOJ smiles on the Gangster Disciple king, they want the skinny old Irish politician, Boss Madigan, 83, to die in prison. They’re seeking 12.5 years in prison for his corruption conviction. I’m no fan of Madigan, but that’s a death sentence.
So now it’s up to Gov. Toilets (JB Pritzker) to release the Gangster Disciple from state prison. If Pritzker wants to make his political enforcer and Hoover associate Gator Bradley happy, he has the power. Show us how strong you are JB.
Democrats are desperate for the award after the crap they put the country through in the Biden senility saga, but the Republicans demand it as well, especially those blue-state Republicans demanding tax breaks on their high state and local tax deductions.
Hey moron move to a low tax state, don’t make the rest of us pay for your political happiness.
Today we’re awarding the coveted Golden Moutza of the Month. You know how this works. Readers of johnkassnews.com find me on social media toward the end of the month and nominate their moutza-worthy idiots who stretched to the far horizons.
The idiots, fools, morons and chumbolones are legions.
Marilou Wilschke
JAKE TAPPER. If the Moutza did not exist, the Greeks would have invented it for him. First, Jake actively participates in the worst political coverup this country has ever seen. Then he writes a tell-all book exposing the coverup. Finally, Jake plays all of us as idiots with the excuse that he wants to make sure a coverup like this never happens again.
Well, Jake, of all the Moutzes in the world, you are the most Moutzaish. NAH! FEESAH ETHO!
Martha Strawbridge
Is full contact against the moutza rules? Because if not, I think French Prime Minister Macron’s wife has already cemented the MOTM for him. Nah! With a sinusoidal shove.
Those Macron Slap memes just won’t stop!
Danny Carlino
Mayor Haircut Pt. 2 for touting the generosity of MY PEOPLE. He’s referring to Chicagoans, right? I wonder. Well, HE deserves a VERY GENEROUS dose of the hand to blow on.
He’s a racist fool, yes. But supported by media. I see columnists approving of his naked racism because, like them, he hates President Trump. And he’ll ride that proudly to wedge himself into the runoff as he and Boss Preckwinkle and the other leftists destroy the city. He figures if he makes the runoff against one of those weak white shadows, he’ll win. The city would die, but he’ll be top of the world, ma!!!
Dennis Byrne
Dennis, she’s the new Edith Wilson of our American nightmare. P.S. I read you for years.
Rod Wapole
Waltz and the democrats honoring George Floyd in a Memorial Day speech?
Sue Pelinski
I nominate the Chicago News and Television media who gave us more of their attention to George Floyd this Memorial Day than those Americans who gave their lives for the love our Country!
Ed Sherman
I think the people of Lagrange deserve a Moutza For voting by a two to one margin to raise our property taxes. Nah!
Ed, LaGrange was a great community, as was my old town of Western Springs next door. No more. The AWFLs (Angry White Female Lefties) run it now. They got rid of U.S. Rep. Dan Lipinski and ushered in the reign of the flesh-eating harpies. They all watch “The View.” Think of it this way: You can no longer afford your home, but at least you have those “Hate Has No Home Here” signs.
Craig Lofgren
Mayor Brandon Johnson for issuing a Memorial Day video to celebrate Happy African day and not mentioning or doing the same for our soldiers.
He’s lost his mind.
Bob Kit
The members of the CTU for voting in by 2/3rds majority, the one group that has shown a complete lack of care for children and taxpayers. Nah! Feeso!!!!
Nancy Himmes
Good Lord! How to pick just one? Although Brandon Johnson and JB Pritzker are monthly favorites, I think we need to go with Jake the Snake Tapper. He is representative of the mainstream media for their incessant lying and Leftist bias that we have had to put up with. They have no shame. Show some contrition, Jake! Feesa Etho! And NO, we will not buy your book!
Don Rudny
I nominate all those who are buying Jake Tapper’s book “Original Sin” and making it an online best seller. Joe’s mental decline was no secret to anyone who watched him for four years. The book may have been worth reading if Jake told us about the media’s involvement in the coverup of his dementia.
Nah! and Fessah Etho to those who think this book is a big revelation.
Pete Sremac
John, this month has a bumper crop of morons, I didn’t know where to begin. Fake Tapper now admitting the Biden was in decline, Nah! Mayor BJ admitting that he has preferred hiring practices that are illegal, Nah!
Our Governor on the verge of approving new taxes on services, Nah!
John, my head is going to explode! Nah!
Larry Novak
Jabba the Pritz, Commodius Maximus of Ill-annoy, deserves it for tax upon tax, upon tax, upon (well you get it). NAH!
I get it. And so do the residents of Naples Florida, in Arizona, and Utah. We get it. And that’s why so many of us left Illinois. Getting squeezed dry by tax-happy Marxists is no way to live.
And while there are many qualified nominees for this award, and as we have seen, politicians of both parties have sought it. But through it all, there is one truth:
Jake Tapper is everything wrong with what we call media.
He’s no journalist. He’s eviscerated my profession. And he was helped by his network, CNN and by the others of the legacy corporate media. From CNN to the New York Times and the Washington Post, from MSNBC to CBS, ABC, NBC, National Public Radio, and all the other lickspittles who protected the senile Joe Biden as the Democratic elite, served by Tapper, stole the American presidency. And throw in “the paper” and Chicago NPR Times into that Socialist Stew.
And ladling all that on plates for the American breakfast table is Tapper, the boss whore of the Potomac.
He is without shame.
Think of what he’s done, including all the times he whined that he didn’t care about the money from his b.s. book. And think of first daughter-in-law Lara Trump talking about Tapper’s “private apology” after he publicly berated her on the air for daring to question Joe Biden’s mental acuity.
“Jake Tapper called me about two months ago, actually,” Lara, the wife of Eric Trump, recounted on Fox News’ “The Ingraham Angle.”
“Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson released their book, Original Sin, [last week]. And they tried to pretend as though this was an exposé of the massive cover-up. But the fact remains: The American people had known for four years that Joe Biden was cognitively declin[ing]. The only thing they didn’t know was who — whether it was in the White House or Joe Biden’s inner circle — was involved in that deception and cover-up. The only new piece of information that Tapper and Thompson could have offered us was names. And you know what they didn’t give us? Names,” The Federalist’s Brianna Lyman said on Fox News.
The American people need accurate information and analysis. But after what you’ve done, who will reach to journalism for the news? After Fauci’s lies who will look for public health experts to help us deal with epidemics? And after Tapper, who will look to the news in our time of need?
Jake, you’re a propagandist, and a liar. You’re the fake. You haven’t “revealed” the true Biden. You reveal nothing. We all saw what was happening. We knew he was a puddle of goo. You said he was right, and you trashed anyone who dared question his senility. You’re the fake, Jake.
But this mouza is real. I hope it stings forever for what you’ve done to journalism and to our country.
And it’s bleepin golden.
In the face, between the eyes. Just slink away, your tail between your legs, telling us lies that only you believe. And chew on this Golden Moutza of May. Does it taste good, Jake?
NAH!!
-30-
About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.
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Comments 23
So many candidates, but only one Moutza to give. Jake Tapper is a great choice, but the Moutza this month should cover all the media – print, radio, TV, and even the fools who believe that the garbage these idiots produce is the truth. Even now, the brainwashed still believe Biden is better for this country than Trump. And the clown car continues onward, driven by the media and their apologists. A plague upon them all.
Perfect choice.
I agree with John L. Many worthy candidates. But I believe Tapper and people like him are incapable of shame, remorse and taking personal responsibility for their actions. Jake Tapper did this all along thinking it was right in the continued assault on free Americans.
Moutzas make us feel better. But only severe consequences will stop people like Tapper from actively taking a part in their war on America from within.
The Bible calls people like Tapper – as having a seared conscience. They no longer know or care about right or wrong. Many are like him, especially in the recent democratic leadership.
Nah!, Jake! Good choice, such a hypocrite and opportunist…
Talk about selling books, did we somehow forget about James Comey? He deserves a good slap to the head also.
Joe Raducka
Wow, filed on the first of the month.
Clearly an easy choice as up against the usual suspects.
Not as target rich a month as some others but Tapper is the clear standout for pure ύβρις! Well chosen.
Tapper wins by a mile. In a crowded field, his attempt to square his comportment with the reality we all saw is truly a journalistic “jump the shark” moment. Years from now, should there still be courses in Journalism (doubtful), Tapper will have a full chapter on what it looks like to sell out your readership in the name of self-aggrandizement.
The Tapper tale-tellers lamented
The competent prez they’d invented.
“Slow Joe was a joke
Forty years before Woke.
Who knew that he, too, went demented?”
Yianni,
Thank God for the Socialist party of America, aka the “democratic” party, as it continues to offer up a steady stream of deserving moutza candidates each day, week or month! We have our own trove of malakes right here in Chicago and Illinois, however, the list grows daily, as the dems endeavor to convince us Joe mumbles was at the top of his game, and they were only trying to help us! NAH!
As appalled as I am that anyone could put George Floyd on the same stature as the valiant and brave US Military, who gave their lives in defense of this Country, Jake the Snake was a good choice. You just cannot make some people speak or even recognize the truth.
David Brooks the hermaphrodite/faux conservative voice on PBS is the best reason to defund public TV and Radio.
Brooks is a sickening louse of the first waters who equates Elon Musk with Pol Pot and Stalin. He is an inetllectual lighweight with a lisp that plays so well in Winnetka living rooms.
This prissy creep has a face that I would love to shake hands with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suua4hYfLTY
John, you summed it up perfectly… “The American people need accurate information and analysis. But after what you’ve done, who will reach to journalism for the news? After Fauci’s lies who will look for public health experts to help us deal with epidemics? And after Tapper, who will look to the news in our time of need?”
Journalists should take an oath to tell the truth, and if they are wrong, they need to admit they were wrong, not claim to be “humbled” by what they now see. I truly hope that people are no longer believing everything the media is shoveling down their throats, but unfortunately, I doubt that will ever happen.
Once you have moutza’d the eminently execrable Jacobin Tapper, you have plumbed the depths. How do you top THAT for villainy?
His name should live in our lexicon, i.e., “The press has been Tappering truth on this issue.”
The media has been in the left’s pocket for decades. Watching Joe wander about and speak in circles – it was not rocket science for anyone with a prewoke education to see the problem. But Jake the fake and his brothers and sisters continued with the fantasy for years. (Thank God For JKN and Fox commentators. ). The Dems figured they would get him reelected then the prostate cancer would be used to step him down and let Kamala “hold” the reins while Chuck, Nancy and BO dictated policy until they figure out who will “lead” the country in four years. (jabba the pritz??). Kamala was and is a fool tool. Jake the Fake for the WIN.
Good Morning. I have my own award that I use in threads on X and Yahoo. Except for the times Yahoo bans my posts. (a lot). It is called the E & O Award. It stands for the Exclusion and Omission of pertinent data in a story. The first winners were Eric, the Moron, Zorn and Rex Huppke, two of the most scum infested so called writers ever to scribble at the once great Chicago Tribune.
There are too many on TV to give this award to, but Jake the Snake Fake Tapper is this year’s winner hands down. I am proud to present to JSFT, the E & O award for 2025, and years in the future.
How about “Kill the Boer,” “Kill the(white) Farmer” black African leader Julius Malema.
Let’s not feel too sorry for Mike Madigan. His age is going to be used in his sentencing. He’s going to be sent home with an ankle bracelet and a lifetime subscription to Netflix and Home Run Inn pizza. He’ll die comfortably in his bed making phone calls on his heater phone sent by his daughter Lisa…
Gotta disagree with you on one thing John.
My first reaction on hearing that Trump was “Commuting” Larry Hoover’s sentence was the same as your, outrage.
I’m old enough to recall gang violence that made the Valentines Day Massacre and Capone look like a kindly old gentleman.
Then I realized that Gov. “Lardass” would have to pardon him of state convictions now. Or he still rots in jail for the rest of his pathetic life.
If/when he does commute the state conviction. It will put a major flat tire on his 2028 Presidential Campaign wagon. Kind of like Michael Dukakis’ Tank blunder.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I think Trump and his team spotted an opportunity to make things a little easier for the 2028 Vance/Gabbard ticket.
Great choice for May! But there are so many just like Jake the Fake. The stable just keeps getting larger. And now, in leftie heaven of Boulder, CO, a terror attack will really bring out the confused. (which is the great majority of the left). Next month will even be more difficult!
Madigan dying jail. HOW SWEET IT IS!.
PUT HIM SAME CELL AS HOOVER
Lie to us for 4 years but if you want the truth you need to buy his book. The new journalism.