Welcome to Bizarro World
By James Banakis
April 8th, 2026
The only superhero I’ve ever acknowledged is Superman. As a boy I was addicted to comic books. I’d read them for free in my grandfather’s restaurants which had a magazine and newspaper section, about 8 feet across, and 6 feet high, next to the register. The bottom shelf had all the local newspapers. On the upper shelves there were news magazines, my grandmother’s favorite movie magazines, sport magazines, on the top shelves, the largest selling weekly pictorial journals, Life, Look, Saturday Evening Post, and on two separate circular turning racks a treasure trove of comic books. Papou let me read them in a back booth of the store if I’d wash my hands, be careful not to crease, or break the spine, and not eat or drink anything while reading. I would carefully then return them and choose another. It was my own personal exclusive lending library. I was very respectful of his rules as I understood how fortunate I was to hang out in a candy and ice cream-making family business with a constantly updating inventory of comic books and sports magazines.
As a nine-year-old, Superman appeared very real and plausible to me. All the other superheroes seemed silly, dark, forced, and made up. I viewed Superman’s backstory as real history, almost biblical.
Yes, it’s Superman … strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Superman … who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way!
I’ve been hooked for life. Of all the ingenious storylines created by DC Comics, Superman vs. Bizarro World, really captured my imagination. In Bizarro World, everything was the mirrored image of everything on earth only the opposite. Superman did battle against these forces of evil.
There was a classic Seinfeld episode in which the George Costanza character turn his life around in a positive way by doing the exact opposite of what ever his instinct happens to be. Jerry Seinfelt and Larry David are also Superman fans.
Last weekend I was attending our weekly breakfast meeting with my buddies at Simon’s Restaurant in Villa Park. As I drove up, Roosevelt Road was crowded with aging, Marxist, pathetic Boomers performing at their No Kings Rally. All of them had pre-manufactured protest signs, some in silly costumes. I’ve noticed that the left has appropriated the Fword in almost everything they currently say or do. They’ve begun dropping the F-word in cable news interviews and in Congress. So, there was a lot of F***Trump as I rolled down my window and pulled into the parking lot. The Democratic ads in the recent primary election featured F*** Trump as the full magnitude of leftist policy. It must poll well with the base.
As I entered the restaurant, Simon the owner was busy chasing protestors from parking in his lot. I could relate. All my buddies were amused at how lame the demonstration was.
Where am I going with this? On the way home, it occurred to me that Democratic policy since the advent of Obama has been Bizarro World.
Before the Anointed One, the left and right were close to being the same. Most everyone thought that illegal immigration, communism, Iran, and criminals were bad. The flag, the Bill of Rights, capitalism and cops were good. After Bizarro Obama, everything that comes from his bizarro fortress of solitude in Jackson Park, is the opposite of what we understand as truth, justice, and the American Way. Before Obama, no politician wanted to be on the wrong side of an 80/20 issue. Today the Democratics double down on all their wildly unpopular, bizarro ideas. Most ironic of course, the only American acting out as an unelected king for the past 10 years has been Obama.
Test my theory. Do you believe in the American way, or are you from Bizarro World?
- What is the definition of a woman? If you’re from Bizarro World you won’t be able to come up with a definition. If you know what a woman is, you believe in the American way. Besides the physiological definition, my favorite characterization is appropriating former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s remark, “I know it when I see it!”
- Who is the victim of any crime? If you believe it’s the criminal, and like our bizarro mayor that incarcerating a criminal is racist, you’re from Bizarro World. If you side with the victims and their families of any crime you believe in American justice.
- If you believe proving you are a citizen before voting, and that citizenship is our sacred right, you believe in the American way. If you believe we should open our boarders to all unvetted aliens and not question whether they can vote, you’re from Bizarro World.
- If you believe that women in Islamic cultures have more freedom than American women, you’re from Bizarro World. If you believe in the American way, you drop to your knees and thank God for our Bill of Rights.
- If you believe you’re a victim and refuse to take personal responsibility for anything. If you worship the federal government as your religion, you’re from Bizarro World. If you believe that America is the last best hope on earth, and we’re all part of the solution to our problems, you believe the American way.
I could continue, but by now you get the drill. Before Obama there was a great center ground of independents who both sides used to appeal to for support. No longer. Currently, you’re either a follower of the American way or from Bizarro World. If you think you’re undecided, you may be brain dead.
Here’s my simple diagnostic screening test to help you find out if you’re from Bizarro World or not. From now on, whenever you listen to any Democratic member of Congress, any leftist pundit, or the Anointed One himself and you find yourself nodding in agreement, you’re from Bizarro World. On the other hand, if you throw your slipper at the TV in disgust, thinking the exact opposite your probably an uninfected American.
In Superman lore, the man of steel travels to Bizarro world and gets arrested because he is normal and good. He uses his superpowers to drain the swamp and reshape their planet. The Bizarro population becomes satisfied, and they allow Superman and Earth to live in peace. (I’m not comparing Superman to the current president, but there are some similarities here.)
This is the reason as a kid I used to tie a bath towel around my neck and jump off the furniture. He made me believe that I could be good and strong like him. People love Superman because he is the symbol of hope, not the audacity of hope. He uses his immense power to protect rather than to rule.
Finally, here’s my anti-bizarro recipe for sanity and contentment. When a lib preaches something, you know is insane and scream four letter words, always think and do the opposite. I practice this daily. It works!
If you think Superman is boring, you’re why the world sucks today. There. I said it and I’m not taking it back.
– Chris Wichtendahl
-30-
Jimmy Banakis is a life-long restaurateur. He was an honorary batboy for the White Sox in 1964. He attended Oak Park River Forest High School, Nebraska Wesleyan University, and Chicago-Kent Law School. He claims the kitchen is the room he’s most comfortable in anywhere in the world. He published an extremely limited-edition family cookbook. He’s a father and grandfather, and lives in Downers Grove Il.
Comments 7
Excellent column ! Thanks Jimmy Banakis for helping John Kass subscribers understand the insanity that has engulfed Illinois like a vintage black-and-white Twilight Zone episode.
Your John Kass column is especially near and dear to me, since I attended Willowbrook high school, next to Simon’s Restaurant in Villa Park. Back then my Dad and his friends would laugh if our elected officials had difficulty defining women.
Those old-timers had a sure-fire solution to moronic problems. We would mow the lawn, we would rake all the dead grass, and then we’d weed the garden. Next we would clean the garage, paint the house, and clean the gutters. After that we’d go to our grandparents’ houses, and start all over.
Hard work turned boys into young men, in an era when all of us guys wanted to be exactly like our fathers, grand-fathers and uncles.
My father was a Teamster. He delivered frozen food to North Shore restaurants 6 days per week, all year long. I wanted to be a Teamster too, but I lucked out and wound up in the Carpenters Union, so I only had to work five days a week.
When dimwits carry protest signs in the suburbs, it’s an indication they have too much spare time and not enough yardwork.
The “No Kings” slackers should get a landscaping job , or work in a restaurant waiting tables. They’ll realize America was built by kings. Not fancy kings like they have in Europe. In the USA every man who pays his mortgage, paints his house and mows his lawn is a king. That’s why people move here from all over the globe.
Great article as usual. Keep up the good work.. Only Christ is King. John you are loved and missed very much. Christ is coming and soon.
Masterful, Mr. Banakis, masterful!
My parents and grandparents, as well as legions of aunts and uncles now crowding heaven, would recoil mightily at the sight of No Kings acolytes cosplaying resistance fighters and rebels. They actually maimed cattle of landlords, faced the assizes of Kerry and either escaped to America or were bound over to Australia and worse,
Bizarro indeed.
” Truth, Justice, and the American way'”
Outstanding column Jimmy. The cosplay and preprinted signs (btw is there a union “bug” on those signs? ) all point to MAWF clutching their paths and screeching. Give em a one way ticket to Teheran and see how they like living there. Unreal.
Besides the obvious strange psychology of liberalism, there is also the strange demographic behind it as people at these rallies tend to be relatively affluent, white, educated and suburban. They tend to be quite nerdy as if this is Revenge of the Nerds. Another factor is they obviously have too much time on their hands as most people have work, family and household matters to attend to. In an era of “identity” politics, the strange thing about these folks is a complete lack of identity. Do you ever see Cajuns, American Indians, Homecoming Kings and Queens, football players…at these rallies? I am 62 and none of the Italian, Greek, Croatian or Serbian kids I grew up with would ever be caught dead at these rallies. They knew who they were. Me, a Persian, Turkish, Spanish and half European Jew, know who I am even though I am a mutt. These lost souls are seeking connection and an identity and they found it on the Left.
On point. Bizarro world. Nothing more to say. On point, thank you.