HOULI’S PADDY’S DAY PICKS
By Mike Houlihan
February 13th, 2026
St. Patrick’s Day is nigh, and that’s also Election Day. I have skin in the game on both fronts. Don’t we all? I know I’m going to vote for at least one Republican and one Democrat in this election.
I was born a Democrat and bottle fed in the 19th Ward with patronage gigs, precinct captains, and an older brother State Representative.
Our Alderman Tommy Fitz was my old man’s drinking buddy at Casto’s Buffet in Brainerd. They had a billboard on the top of their building touting Dem. Dan Houlihan for State Rep a long, long time ago.
I moved to the East Coast in 1973, got married, had kids, and busted out, returning in ’85 looking for work. Republicans helped me and I never looked back. Today I’m a Trumper and proud of it.
So, all things considered, here are my picks for 2026.
My oldest brother Paul died last year and was being waked at Curley’s on 111th Street. Paul was 89 when he died, his wife Kay and many friends had preceded him to heaven, so not a huge crowd at his wake, God love him.
But one guy showed up the morning of the funeral who I have known since my salad days, former 2nd Ward Alderman Bob Fioretti. He didn’t know Paul, he was there for me.
I’ve known Mendel Monarch Bob Fioretti going way back to when we met at the Chicago Athletic Club years ago. He invested in one of my shows. Fio would hold court debating each morning in the men’s locker room with his tan, towel, and blonde preppy haircut. He’s still got it, but the battle scars of over twenty years in the trenches have chiseled this paisan. Beating cancer will do that to you.
He now looks like a guy who’s been in a few fights and he certainly has. He overcame the cancer, got re-districted out of his ward after two terms and then ran for Mayor, State’s Attorney, and a handful of other unsuccessful challenges. He was starting to look like Lar Daley each season but I ran into him weeks back and it finally looks like Fio is back in fightin’ shape.
This time he’s running for Illinois Attorney General. He’s the ONLY candidate in the Republican primary. That means he’s going to win that one and he then has until November to carve up the Democrat dope who thinks it’s all on the square. And as we all know, “Nothin’s on the Square”!
Fioretti is an experienced attorney and civil rights litigator who has represented all walks of life. He is prioritizing “victims over violent criminals” and wants to lock up the creeps that judges keep re-releasing into our midst to rape and murder repeatedly.
So, who is he running against?
The incumbent is a Barack Obama wannabe, Kwame Raoul, another black guy with a funny name.
I met Obama once at Reilly’s Daughter. (Shout out to Boz O’Brien, late founder of the great South Side Irish pub! God rest his lovely soul).
When he was a state senator, my niece introduced me to NoBama and he gives me the “fish hand”, nuff said!
So incumbent Attorney General Kwame Raoul. Who is he? He’s Pritzker’s puppet, filing lawsuits against President Trump daily so Fatso can think he’s got a shot running as Prez.
Kwame has done nothing on crime and corruption, rising housing and utility costs, and the evil influence of fat cat political donors.
Fioretti has a vision for a more transparent Attorney General’s office, stronger criminal justice policies, and safer communities across Illinois.
So that’s my Republican endorsement, Bob Fioretti for Illinois Attorney General. And don’t forget folks, Kwame rhymes with ‘Commie’!
Across the aisle in the Democratic Primary is Pat Hynes running for Cook County Assessor. He’s the son of a Chicago Firefighter and nephew of late, great 19th Ward leader, President of the Illinois Senate, and longtime Cook County Assessor Tom Hynes.
I met Patrick Hynes just a few weeks ago when he was a guest on Hibernian Radio. He is currently a volunteer firefighter in Western Springs, also Lyons Township Assessor, and spent 23 years before that working in the Cook County Assessor’s Office. He looks at his job as a vocation, sez that’s where he figured out that “the work that we do impacts the most emotional asset that anyone will ever own.” Our homes.
He’s met newly widowed mothers with kids who could no longer afford to live in their home because of the taxes, and that’s when he figured out how much harm know-nothing Assessors could do.
His opponent Fritz Kaegi was Patrick’s boss for his final three years working Cook County and Pat tells me he soon realized that Kaegi didn’t have a clue. And when real estate taxes doubled everybody could smell a rat.
So, Hynes quit Cook County and got elected as Lyons Township Assessor.
I’m impressed with Patrick Hynes and the compassion and expertise he brings to his work. As an old-time political 19th ward sage recently told me, “That office has been on the “Fritz” ever since Kaegi got elected!”
So, vote for Patrick on St. Patrick’s Day!
You can watch our podcast interviews with Fioretti and Hynes at hibernianradio.org
Check them out and don’t forget to VOTE!
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Known around town as “Houli,” he is former features columnist for The Chicago Sun-Times, Irish American News and currently Chicago correspondent for The Irish Echo. He began his career in 1973 as an apprentice with The American Shakespeare Festival, appearing in the classics there and in regional productions across the nation as well as Off-Broadway, on Broadway, on TV and in major motion pictures. He is a playwright and author of anthologies “Hooliganism Stories” and “More Hooliganism Stories” and the gonzo Mayoral campaign journal “Nothin’s on The Square”. Founder of the Annual Irish American Movie Hooley film festival each Fall at The Wilmette Theatre. He was honored as 2020/2021 “Irishman of the Year” by the Emerald Society, the Irish American Police Association. His Hibernian Radio Hour podcast can be found at hibernianradio.org and streaming worldwide on Sat. nights from 7-8PM on Global Irish Radio, GIR.ie.
His latest book ” Chicago Irish Mythology” is available on Amazon and wherever else you buy your books.Even more info about Houli is available here, on his latest adventures: hibernianmedia.org
Comments 25
Character matters. Thanks for the endorsements.
Consider it done in the general.
GOP primary voter.
Hope Haynes wins the democratic primary.
I really liked that. Tyvm, Mike.
I know you remember when failing to vote in lockstep didn’t automatically get you primaried or canceled or doxxed or whatever bs. There were occasions when bipartisan agreement was celebrated, not scandalized.
Unfortunately we’ve come a long way since Paul Simon and Everett Dirkson.
Quality selections of men with hearts! Off to school looking like Pat O’Brien in Angels With Dirty Faces! I pulled a score of neck muscles . . .you know Lake Effect living and nothing better to do here in Michigan City.
Great work as always Houli and friends, let’s all toss up some Memorares, Mitzvahs, Praise Jesus and other theological encomiums for John and Betty!!!!!!!!1
Thank you! Your words matter. God directed your steps and your heart. The credibility of your experiences have made you a valuable contributor to JohnKassNews.
The election will be interesting as the turnout to use your vote – praying for many to make their vote count.
Blessings to the Kass family and their valued friends.
Good work here this morning. Thanks.
Get well soon JK.
John. you are on our prayers, a word into St. Anthony of Padua and St. Rita of Cascia on your behalf.
It is clear that from their endless political ads in the local media that Kwame and his fellow Demo perps hail killing unborn babies ( I am sorry, “women’s healthcare”) and supporting illegal alien murderers and rapists(I am sorry,” our “neighbors”)……Orange man bad!
When Kwame indicts and prosecutes just one Covid fund schemer from his tribe of municipal looters, and the tax bills are reduced, then “Jesus can leave Chicago.”
One doesn’t hear much bout Brainerd. Many Chicagoans, even Sout’ Siders have never heard of it. It’s where my family lived when I was born (90th& Morgan) before they went to the burbs.
Roseland, Pullman, Brainerd, and a couple outliers in McKinley Park and Scottsdale. Everyone except some first responders, who are in Mt. Greenwood, have left the city and some the state.
Do Chicago and Illinois stand a chance of surviving what the Dems have done to them? Let’s see how the upcoming elections play out.
Note that Islam has taken half of Orland Park.
The late first Mayor Daley never missed a funeral.
Take care of the little things first. That he did.
You guys never learn do ya. ALL POLS ARE BLOOD SUCKING WHORES!
Oh but he’s your crook so it’s OK. But more important he’s a Harp/Mick/Shanty Irish crook. So therefore he’s ok.
Houli ya still going east on Ashland my friend.
Thomas Rudd, why yes I am, and are you any relation to Elmer Fudd?
Not a relation to Elmer, Mike. He IS Elmer, so Elmer that he rages at Mel Blanc for overdubbing his lines.
Always enjoy your columns, by the way, Mike. Chicago needs evolved Democrats. But the Machine devolution might be too deep to reverse. Let them eat parking meters.
You really are outrageous Thomas. But I’ll give you credit where credit is due. The WSJ this weekend interviewed one of the 20th century’s giants of freedom and democracy standing right up there with Reagan and Thatcher – none 0ther than Lech Walesa. Among the things he had to say regarding the present state of world democracy: “Nowadays, people elect demagogues, populists, and scoundrels to office – even presidents.” It’s an interesting thought provoking interview from a guy who literally changed the world for the better.
Hey Houli.
I’ve got a picture of you as a Sophomore at Carmel.
You were skinny and had hair !!
Good looking kid at that time.
It’s yours for a draft of a “Smitick”, if you ever get to Fl.
Keep up the good “work” !?!?
Houli. I gotta tell you. With all due respect to your political acumen, Bob Fioretti doesn’t have a chance.
No, I’m voting for Fritz Kaegi and his reforms. Hynes did NOT seem to have a problem working for “Honest Joe Berrios”. I think Hynes will bring back all “Honest Joe” corruption.
Dear Mike,
Love your column and would you mind if I use “So that’s my Republican endorsement, Bob Fioretti for Illinois Attorney General. And don’t forget folks, Kwame rhymes with ‘Commie’!”
Your Irishness is pouring out and it is so refreshing to read it. Thank you for your recommendations and this house will definitely follow them.
God bless and keep on keeping on.
Tom
I take EXCEPTION with your use of the word FATSO!
Does it imply that fat people are POS like JB?
What about TALL people? Are they POS like Ali G?
And SHORT people? POS like Stephanopoulos?
What next? Do we use skin shade to associate with character flows and undesirable ideologies? Gender? Ethnicity?
BTW\, I m not fat!
Otherwise, Great Column!
Teasing is Mean! BUT it is Funny as Hell!!!!!!!!
Hey Houli:
You are a cool cat. Love you,love your show. Good to see these endorsements.
Grew up in Roseland when you could walk anywhere and not worry about being shot, knifed, or beaten. At that time, it was the only Republican ward in the city, and were treated accordingly. Funny now, odd then.
We escaped the Chicago area (Orland Park) in the late eighties, and thank my lucky stars that we did. What was once a great city, thanks to a certain group is on it’s way to bankruptcy and destruction. What a waste.
Illinois Attorney General Kwame Raoul has a record of abject failure that is rivaled only by Cali’s Gavin Newsom.
In both cases one can easily understand the gross ignorance, and possibly stupidity, of those who voted for these two.