By John Kass
October 2, 2022
Who loves you baby?
The Ancient Greeks love you. Yeah, forget about it, they love you. From across the wine dark seas of time they stretch out their arms across the millennia to offer their embrace.
For proof, just ask yourselves: With only a few short weeks until the November elections, would my Ancient Hellenic ancestors—the original ‘Men of the West’–have given you their most powerful rhetorical weapon, the Moutza and its magnificent child, The Golden Moutza, if they didn’t love you?
They’ve already given you use of the Moutza to fight the Idiocracy. The palm opened wide and thrust vigorously at the idiots with a hearty “Nah! Parta!” ( Here take them!) or some other earthy saying. And today we bestow the Golden Moutza of the Month. All idiots are eligible and nominations can be made by readers finding me on Facebook. Those eligible include sports team executives, mayors, governors, stupid criminals, fools, generals, U.S. Senators, and various attorneys general. But not presidents.
Unfortunately, some Americans avoid using the Moutza and opt instead for the obscene, vulgar and sexually rampant “finger.” But as you’ll see in the VIDEO linked in this paragraph, the Moutza is superior to the “finger.” As per the VIDEO, the street Moutza is is often accompanied by the notorious “M-word” which is defined as “to make permanently soft by constant overuse.” Such losers are called “the malakiesmeni.” Avoid them.
“Our president,” said Sharon Blair, nominating Biden, “for talking about his relationship with a 12-year-old girl when he was 30. Ewww. Creepy. And the silence from the left is deafening.”
As you know, and as I’ve said a million times, Biden is exempt. But it was creepy. And mentioning creepiness isn’t illegal yet, is it?
At a speech to his political allies of the National Education Association–the nations largest teachers union–the president appeared to recognize a woman in the audience as he was talking about “climate change.” He paused to point her out.
“You gotta say hi to me,” the president was quoted as saying. “We go back a long way. She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, this woman helped me get an awful lot done.”
And then later in another speech Biden was speaking of an Indiana member of Congress who died weeks ago in a car crash, “Where’s Jackie? Is Jackie here?”
The “Where’s Jackie?” bit was unsettling, yes. But it’s not the first time the world has seen the babbling meat puppet unleashed. Is this a ruse for legal purposes later if Hunter goes down, or is this a real “thing?” Who can say?
Those who voted for him and supported him are responsible. His malakiesmeni press secretary made a complete fool of herself trying to defend him. The meat puppet doesn’t care. His Vice President Kamala Harris praised the U.S. relationship with North Korea. We don’t have one. They are all fools. All malakiesmeni,
“The wonderful residents of Martha’s Vineyard who showed so much compassion to the (illegal) immigrants by “rehousing” them to a military base near Cape Cod,” nominated reader Thomas Vallone. ” The “Not in MY backyard” syndrome. NAH!”
They’re virtue signalers like their neighbor former President Barack Obama. He accuses Republicans of racism? You were a phony when I met you years ago Barack, hanging with the bagman Tony Rezko, and you’re a phony now.
The wonderful residences of Martha’s Vineyard who showed so much compassion to the immigrants by “rehousing” them to a base in Cape Cod. (NPR’s words, not mine). The “Not in MY backyard” syndrome. Nah !
This month there are many contenders, from Harvey Weinstein’s rotten prison teeth to Planned Parenthood changing its website to protect fool Democrat Stacy Abrams in her fading race for governor in Georgia from herself.
Abrams is a fool and a race hustler. Whoever does not know this has been conditioned like a drooling Russian pooch.
As I write this, more Idiocracy. Reporters on Chicago’s public television station known as “Winnetka Talking To Wilmette” are prattling on about “pharmacy deserts” in Chicago and attributing it all to racism. But what about the looters of the BLM riots, when pharmacies were robbed and pillaged by mobs day after day and street gangs sold the stolen drugs in the neighborhoods?
That’s why there are “pharmacy deserts” you fools. Winnetka Talking to Wilmette? NAAAAHH !
“Usually it’s the Illinois politicians that take the Moutza cake,” says Ann Macintosh Baker, ” but this month I’m nominating New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell for racking up tens of thousands of dollars on first-class trips to Europe to promote ‘cultural events.’ When questioned about the expenses, she claimed it was not safe for a black woman to fly coach, and she refused a request to reimburse the city at a time when they are experiencing rampant crime and other challenges. NOLA deserves better and Mayor Cantrell deserves and big fat palm to the face – NAH!”
I read those news stories too. If the mayor of New Orleans was a middle aged white Republican woman–who supported the Constitution and loathed Biden– there’s a good chance she’d have already been indicted. It looks like theft to me, but she’ll prattle on for a while about how oppressed she’d been by systemic racism and was forced to live large by this “unequitable” system.
Bill Melonides nominates a newspaper group. “Paddock Publications for caving to the Prince of Toilets in breaking their contract to print s0-called “fake” newspapers, yet couldn’t cite one single instance where the “fake” papers printed any unfounded or false stories. FAHTA (Eat them!!!)”
Clue: Can “The Prince of Toilets” be Illinois Gov. Commodius Maximus, aka Gov. J.B. Pritzker? Yeah.
“The Chicago White Sox for their heartless, mediocre play all year,” said reader Matt Latourette. “Then at the end of the season giving you a twinge of hope to draw you in only to fall on their face and disappoint you. 2005 is almost 20 years ago and having to take out the 05 season highlights every fall is getting old. Nah to you white sox organization.”
I’m a Sox fan and a 12-year Chicago Fire FC Season ticket holder. I’ve paid for this abuse. I’ve subjected my family to Fire FC abuse.
Everyone, please Moutza me. Put me out of my misery. Make it quick.
But there can only be one winner of the Golden Moutza of September. And Eureka, I think I’ve found it.
Martha’s Vineyard, the oh-so-precious wealthy leftist enclave where progressive supporters of Sanctuary Cities spend their beautiful summers.
The residents of Martha’s Vineyard virtue signaled their way through emotional hugs with illegal immigrants sent to the island by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. But while they were hugging the migrants, they’d already arranged for the U.S. military to ship them off the island.
They’re phonies, and they spewed nonsense as phonies do, just like another mega phony, the guy with the big ears from Chicago who now lives among them.
People of Martha’s Vineyard, look upward. This Golden Moutza is for you, you virtue signaling hypocrites. You bought it with what was left of your honor.
Now blow on it. Feesah.
(Copyright 2022 John Kass)