Just say Naaahhhh!!!!

Behold: The Golden Moutza is so Bleepin’ Ripe!!

By John Kass

Sept. 7, 2025

You toss a moutza as you would toss a ripe tomato. You hold it, and release the fingertips so it flies, then plops.

Don’t squeeze it or you’ll get juice on you.

But don’t moutza anyone in the United Kingdom. You might be hunted down by the angry leftist castrati there that control English Thought Police that protect rapists and other degenerates.

We have plenty of idiots in America thank you.

Like Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine who campaigned to be a heartbeat from the presidency with the corrupt witch Hillary Clinton as her vice-presidential nominee in 2016, but who thinks our American rights come from government.

Really Tim?

Kaine, a self-professed Catholic who supports abortion, shocked Americans a few days ago when he declared it “extremely troubling” to say rights come from God rather than the government.

“The notion that rights don’t come from laws and don’t come from the government, they come from the Creator — that’s what the Iranian government believes,” Kaine said Sept. 3 during a Senate hearing. “So, the statement that our rights do not come from our laws or our governments is extremely troubling.”

It’s extremely troubling to me that a Malaka can be a Senator. You fool Kaine. Ever hear of the Democrat from Virginia Thomas Jefferson? He wrote the Declaration of Independence explicitly stating that our rights come from God.

Dan Mathewson:

Senator Tim Kaine for believing that our Rights come from laws and government. Nah! Partah! Feesah etho!

Yes indeed Mr. Mathewson. That’s how to give a proper moutza! My grandfather Papou Pete who said that when politicians speak, the donkeys break wind would adopt you.

Jefferson wrote in part: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

You not only give yourself a Moutza, you slap a Moutza in the faces of all members of the Commonwealth. A fool is their Senator.

You think all rights come from the Clintons? Feesah.

Ann MacIntosh Baker

The great West Suburban influencer Ann Macintosh Baker dropped a good one here:

Polish business exec Piotr Szczerek gets my vote this month. Not only for rudely snatching a signed hat away from this young fan at the U.S. Open but then for doubling down afterwards saying “first come first serve”. Thankfully a happy ending for the little boy after tennis player Kamil Majchrzak located the young lad, named Brock, and gave him a replacement hat. Only fitting, though, that hat snatcher Piotr receive one big Moutza for his heinous deed. 🖐

Yes and yes and yes.

But please let’s not forget our own Gov Toilets Maximus (JB Pritzker) or racist Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson who refused to accept federal help from President Trump to fight violent crime.

Chicago is short about 2,600 police officers. Yet Johnson and Pritzker spent it all to address the needs of illegal migrants, rather than Illinois citizens. And none of them, including the corrupt Chicago media, dare mention Boss Toni Preckwinkle, the queen bee of failed justice in Cook County.

But happily, the great common sense Judge James Brown did.

Boss Toni, this one’s on the house.

NAH!

From Tom Winike:

“Nah! Moutza to our very own George Soros stooge, former prosecutor Kim Foxx. In 2022 she dropped charges against serial misogynist William Livingston, who enjoys sneaking up on women and punching them in the face. One female victim after another; sometimes 2 in one day. The list could fill an entire Kass column. Livingston enjoyed kid-glove coziness from Kim Foxx and her favorite judges. In a 2022 crime spree, he attacked 5 women in 4 locations, all in one day. Feesah Etho!

Kathleen Miles is lucky to be alive. A records search produced 13 mugshots of William Livingston. Many those arrests were for aggravated assault & battery of women and police officers.

In 2022, charges were dropped by Kim Foxx

Michael Jay:

Brandon. No need to elaborate. Nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey, goodbye! Take this palm in your face. You don’t need any more “bread” from the state. You and the city are already toast.

Lou Berardi

I’m going with the Dummicrat voters in NYC who are set to vote in a communist as mayor of our biggest city.

Hey you goofs- take this Moutza- you deserve it. .NAH.

John C. Lavezzi

Gotta be (for, like, the 3rd or 4th [at least] month in a row he’s got my vote) JB (stands for JellyBelly) Pritzker, even trying to lose some of his copious pork in anticipation of his try for a presidential run (but the California Pretty Boy-Idiot will probably beat him out), for his extravagant evasiveness when questioned and his advanced case of TDS. Nah! Take Ten!

Michael Jones:

Professional Moutza Mirthers wait until the last possible moment to nominate a Moutza of the Month given the pace of craziness in our mixed up, up is down, down is up, Brandon Johnson is really the Mayor of Chicago, world. A world where to find humor amid the idiots intoning idiocies is an increasingly arduous task.

Thankfully, it seems that the Moutza nomination window is still open and an idiot has presented himself. A late breaking candidate who may be the most deserving Moutza of all time:

Senator Tim ‘Pain (in the ass)’ Kaine.

Not just a Senator, but a former Vice Presidential candidate for the ‘you know who party’.

He redefined what America is and why it was founded a day ago:

“The notion that rights don’t come from laws and don’t come from the government, but come from the Creator…They believe that they understand what natural rights are from their Creator. So, the statement that our rights do not come from our laws or our governments is extremely troubling.”

His words rang a bell. Where have I heard similar words before?

Ah, yes, a fellow Virginian. Thomas Jefferson who wrote in the Declaration of Independence almost 250 years ago:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”.

To progressive democrats, to Democrats in general, ‘inalienable Rights’ don’t exist. We’ll tell you what your rights are and are not.

And, you’ll like it!

Really, Tim? The Bears season starts Sunday and in honor of Da Coach, Who ya crappin’?

And, in honor of John Kass:

NAH! Blow on it. Feesah Etho!

Denise Harmantas Mikkelsen:

The democrats in NY who are set to vote in a communist as mayor. NAH! 🖐

Jennifer Husak Boehm

Both JB & Brandon Johnson for saying “nothing to see here! No crime in Chicago!” & pitching a fit that DJT wants to send the guard out to help…..NAH!!!!

Anastasia Tervolas

I’m in a rut: the liars—Pritzker and Johnson.

Tony Campise:

No brainer. Old JB himself; Nah! 🖐

Michael J. Maggio:

I’m going with that guy everyone is talking about, Gerry. You know Gerry Mandering. Nah Ger!

Scott Fischer:

Governor No Toilet Maximus

Matt Latourette

Trump administration for saying Any Republican who signs Rep. Thomas Massie’s discharge petition on the Epstein files will be seen as committing a hostile act against the Trump admin.

NAH

David Mansfield

NAH dummy. Presidents aren’t eligible. But keep spreading your left-wing crap!

David and Matt? I thought you two were friends.

Nick Dilendorf

The Dynamic Duo …. Brandon and Pritzker!!!

Eric Andrew Simon

 

Thom Heaney

The porcelain governor with his streets awash in blood won’t accept help. Blow on This.

Cris Dosev

Mayor of Minnesota, Jacob Frey, Nah!

Jeff Schwartz

Where to begin 🤔 I just can’t nominate just one. It’s so overwhelming that I’m out!

Paul DiVittorio

I nominate the majority of voters in Chicago. They are lied to, abused, forgotten and made to suffer in crime ridden squalor. Yet they still reliably vote for their tormentors. My empathy is deep for their suffering. Perhaps a Moutza will help them emerge from Stockholm Syndrome. Nah! Parta!

Carrie N.

Brandon

John Stryker

Tim Walz for hoping President Trump would die. Total scumbag move.

John Allen

Richard Nixon. Mayor Pinhead said he’s responsible for all the murders in Chiraq and we all know a CTU union organizer knows EVERYTHING.

Pat Hickey

Jen Psaki – Blow On IT! Because DJT was not dead nor anywhere as non copus mentis as Joe Biden.

John Beris

JB Pritzlker and Brandon Johnson. I did not address them by their titles because they are idiots nah feso etho parta Decca . Not wanting trump with national guard after 50 shooting total morons.

Editor’s note: I’ve always supported the notion that when it comes to the Golden Moutza, there can only be one. But in Chicago, people are dying from violent crime which is now the result of bad Democrat policy and media that promotes violence and anarchy. And I’m reminded that reader Eric Andrew Simon has offered up Illinois’ very own Dumb and Dumber, Gov. Toilets and Mayor Pinhead.

And so for this one time, I temporarily bend the rules  for the greater good.

I don’t think it is politically wise for President Trump to send in the National Guard. Pritzker and Johnson have been stoking violence and insurrection, with the help of the already discredited newspapers and leftist media. But people are dying. The bullets must stop,

So to Pritzker, of soft mind and softer body and to Johnson, spewing all race all the time and marxist alogans, lift up your chinnty chin chins.  So take this Double Golden Moutza in the teeth like men. Nah and Nahto.

You know what to do, Dumb and Dumber:

Blow on it, FEESAH ETHO!!

(Copyright 2025 John Kass)

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