There Can Be No Father’s Day Without a Mom

By John Kass

June 18, 2023

Father’s Day

In the barber chair the other day getting a Father’s Day haircut and a beard trim, the great barber/philosopher and Neapolitan soccer expert Raffaele Raia asked me two extremely important questions:

What was I writing about for Father’s Day?

And, how’s Betty?

So, I told him, and that minor argument we were having about the dog.

Not Zeus the Wonder Dog who lives comfortably with us in our beautiful low-crime and low-tax paradise of Northwest Indiana free of crazed Bolshevik journos. And Zeus is doing fine.

We were arguing about another dog that we don’t even have yet.

“Where’s Zeus?” asked Raffaele.

He’s great but he sleeps a lot in the afternoons. He can’t catch and eat rabbits anymore like he used to. They mock him as they run away. But I’m thinking about getting another dog. Not to replace my loyal Zeus, but to be Zeus’ younger friend and help keep him peppy.

Raffaele said his brother and sister-in-law are the proud owners of two large German Shepherd Dogs.

I’m partial to the GSD, but Betty won’t like all that shedding. But I’ve settled on another breed that is just as smart, perhaps even smarter, and doesn’t shed as much:

The long, lean and athletic Doberman with cropped ears and tail. A black and tan with a glossy coat, a strikingly beautiful, vigorous, long legged dog.

Raffaele made a face. “Too aggressive,” he said. “What about the grandchildren?”

Our sons aren’t even married. Simmer down my Neapolitan friend. But given my health–I can’t really exercise a lean aggressive European bred-Doberman to the extent that he’d need to be tired  to maintain mental stability–I began looking at other breeds and this is where the fight with Betty started. I’m having enough trouble typing this, let alone training a high-drive dog.

What about the noble and courageous English Bulldog? The low drive Bulldog might suit me. I’m no high-drive specimen as of late.

The bulldog is ugly to some, but not to me. And though its pushed-in face and bandy, bowlegged stance reminds me of a pugilist at rest, they’re really quite gentle or so I’m told.

“Eeewww, no. NO way, no Bulldog,” said Betty. “No.”

They’re fat and stumpy, she said. All  a bulldog wants to do is sleep on the couch and snore and fart, she said.

It sounds like a perfect dog to me.

“I don’t want us to get one. They’re ugly, gross and they drool. I can’t stand a drooling dog in my house,” says she.

Well, that was the perfect intolerant Father’s Day column quote I needed. You can’t use it, she said. I forbid it, you can’t quote me saying that.  I said: Freedom of the press! Freedom of the press!!She put her hands on her ears and shouted “La La La!!’ to drown me out.

How have we stayed married, lo these 37 years? It was easy. I love her. Love at first sight. Always have, always will. Yes, I know that I’m the luckiest man…man…man…on the face of the earth. And she loves me too, except in those brief and rare instances where she can’t stand me.

It’s obvious my dear wife would rather have a Doberman Pinscher crawling about aggressively, terrifying the care-givers, neighbors and Raffaele, than allow a  gentle and cuddly English bulldog into the house to sleep by the fire. But we’ve lasted now 37 years as a married couple, and I love her so much that I just hired her to help me with the column.

Uh-oh. That could end badly. I keep hoping she might write something and I’ve suggested a few topics, my favorite being “My Amazing Life with John.”

Friends of ours have been begging her to write such a column and promised her it would be great fun, even if she does write it as satire. Although I can’t think of  how satire would work or even apply.

I think it will take more convincing. Our grown sons have tried  convincing her. She’d do anything for her b0ys.

 

Call me a conservative, call me a Peloponnesian hillbilly. Call me a patriarch, call me old-fashioned, but I don’t care what the Democrats say, you can’t have Father’s Day without a mother.

I know this might enrage them, though they still won’t dare define what a woman is. I think I know, but like some Supreme Court justices,  I’m afraid to say. I’ve been beaten up by the left for so long now that I wince involuntarily whenever they make quick hand movements, like some broken POW in an old Chuck Norris movie.

All I want to do is to avoid the beatings. They’ve been screaming “follow the science” for so long now that all I want to do is follow the science.

But they won’t follow the science, which makes it clear that biology is critically important. They’ve replaced science with their religion which is left wing politics.  Although you can’t make a child without equal parts man and a woman, I now think biology will be ripped from the pages of history by the Bolsheviks. I don’t care what the modern Pol Pots have to say, you can’t have a Father’s Day without a mother.

And as I sat outside in the yard, Betty was watering the roses and the basil in pots and the tomatoes  in the vegetable garden. I listened to a podcast.

The podcast was “Fearless” by Jason Whitlock, the conservative columnist. He’s a favorite of mine, as is conservative Dan Proft. They’re both Midwesterners, and both men have been bravely focusing on the blasphemous decision  by Major League Baseball to honor a vicious anti-Roman Catholic hate group that calls itself the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

I tweeted out this message: “On #Father’s Day, every father should think and pray on Major League Baseball & the Dodgers. From the shadows they laugh at you & your families like the demons. Is watching @MLB worth your immortal soul? No. #ReclaimtheRainbow.”

I hope the song becomes wildly popular. It is a song of hope, about reclaiming the rainbow symbol from the hate groups that spew vile blasphemies against Jesus Christ. There is a hashtag that goes with it #reclaimtherainbow. Long before the rainbow was a symbol of the militant drag queens and other hate groups, to be forced down the throats of Americans here and overseas, the rainbow belonged to God and was given to mankind after the Great Flood.

It challenges all of us, and especially Black people to wake up. Without them, there is no Democrat Party, and the leftist Democrats who dangle reparations as bribes to support the blasphemy know it.

Musician Bryson Gray @realbrysongray tweeted: “This  song is by Myself, @ShemekaMichelle and @JimmyLevyMusic with help from @WhitlockJason” 

You can’t have a Father’s Day without a Mother. And you can’t blaspheme and spit on Jesus and expect that we won’t get angry.  Because we are angry.  And hold those responsible to account. And Major League Baseball and the Dodgers, that honored the hate group responsible.

On Father’s Day, you can begin reclaiming the rainbow.

Happy Father’s Day.

-30-

 Kass Note: Before I close, I want to mention another great lady, Mary Bresnahan who recently passed. She was 100 years old. She was a devout Catholic. Mrs. Bresnahan and her husband Robert raised eight boys in Oak Park. They were the proud grandparents of 21, and 19 great-grandkids with four on the way. She was a devoted reader. Join me in humbly asking that God bless and protect her and her family.

Comments 61

  1. Is a picture worth a thousand words?
    Oh, hell yes. Fine looking family.

    Great column for Father’s Day. We’ll be with the grandchildren later and tell them stories about when their Dad was their age.

    2. Great column John! May I suggest a greyhound, or its smaller cousin, an Italian greyhound? They make a wonderful house dog, fairly smart, lazy, sheds very very little. They love walks, at your pace. We recently had one who passed away 2 years back after 13 years, and my wife still hasn’t recovered. She loved Brian so much that she won’t even discuss adopting another one. Here in Florida (as well as Texas) they outlawed greyhound racing a few years ago, which placed approximately 6,000 greyhounds for adoption.

  2. Happy Father’s Day to one great Peloponnesian Hillbilly from this Dune Billy in Michigan City!

    More so, great to see this tribute to your gorgeous and witty wife Betty! Go mbeannaí Dia ár mná! God bless our women!

  3. Great column. Happy Father’s Day. After mass today it’s off to St. Nicholas Greek Fest for a sampling of some Spanokopita, Tiropites, and Pastitsio. OPA!

  5. Beautiful family 🙏. Happy Father’s Day to you John. Enjoy this well deserved Sunday with that awesome three. PS , get a black lab and shoot some ducks.

  6. Happy and blessed Father’s Day to you John. You deserve a bourbon and a nap….well deserved.

    Concerning the dog breed. Grandchildren, should you both be blessed with them, you will love them in such a profoundly special way…should your dog of choice bite them, it’ll tear your psyche like nothing else. We have 3 sons and I was not nearly as protective of them or worried about them as I am of our grandkids!

  10. A very happy Father’s Day!!!! Betty and the boys certainly look good!

    And eternal rest grant Mary, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, abd all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.

  11. It’s Democratic Party, not Democrat, though I know GOP ignores the actual name to show disrespect.

    Aren’t bulldogs the ones who are kidnapped because they are so expensive? I’m not a dog enthusiast but I believe there have been crimes involved in stealing them.

    When you bring Bettie into your columns, they are better. Healthy Father’s Day.

  12. Happy Father’s Day, John. Glad to see that you’re up and about, even if your stamina isn’t up to par yet. I know first hand how that must bother you because I witness it every day with my husband’s health…or lack thereof. This is a perfect column for Father’s Day and the science says it even includes those who use surrogates or adoption. Women/mothers are integral to populating the globe and even AI will never change that. It’s a shame we women are facing challenges to our very being in 2023 A.D. The fact that some are refusing to “follow the science” to actually define us is mind boggling. Changing or rearranging parts (inside and/or out) cannot alter the DNA of the original structure of a human being and there are definitely some functions that will remain inoperable/unchangeable. I’m aghast at the phony and false problems that are being foisted upon us all to further divide us, sucking all the oxygen out of rooms everywhere as well as countless dollars. The squeaky wheels are churning out too much noise and being given too much credibility, including corporations, athletic/entertainment venues and self-centered individuals. I truly wish the pendulum would get back to center soon and hope those protesting the Dodgers are a sign that the Silent Majority might be making a comeback! Have a great day with your lovely family!

  13. A friend will tell you if you have a booger hanging out of your nose….or if your zipper is down.

    John, I’m a loyal fan of yours going back for decades, but honestly, this is a rambling, disjointed story searching for a point.

    Happy Father’s Day.

  14. From one Sout-sider husband and father who married up, to another, happy Father’s Day, John.
    And the gentle lady Geraldine is correct, it is the Democrat Party. However, it is not the Democrat Party of Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy, nor even Carter. Thank the Lord that Jimmy Carter lives to see the day when all Republicans would prefer a Carter White House to that of the Godless Marxist Democrat Party that is trying to indoctrinate our children, persecute free people of faith, replace religion with government, encourage substance abuse, and destroy the rule of law. Happy Father’s Day to our last patriotic, God loving, President from the Democrat Party, Jimmy Carter! Wish I could buy him a Billy Beer.

  16. The hypocrisy of the lefties never ends. They hate the church, the unborn, traditional family values and our great country. They want us to celebrate their sin and gender dysphoria’s as they openly mock Our Lord. They truly are minions of the evil one. Still we must pray for them.

    Happy Father’s Day John!
    (go online and check out shelter dogs)

  17. What a great read! A genuine pleasure on this beautiful morning in Texas!

    Your guest columnists’ pieces are enjoyable, and they are highly capable and talented writers, but it is YOUR writing I most admire.

    Hoping your recovery continues and you can be back to regularly providing your insight as the voice for those of us the left would silence.

  18. From a genuine West Virginian hillbilly to the Peloponnesian Hillbilly, Happy Fathers Day. God, faith, marriage, country…so many things that are true, good, pure, and worthy o our efforts to save, protect, and pass to the next generation. Princeton University scholar Robert George proposes we do so by being true and pledging fidelity to these things. More #fidelitymonth

  19. Happy Father’s Day John. When I think of dogs, I always remember Buddy the Golden Retriever, who gave us 16 years of companionship and love. I hope you will find a dog that suits both of you. Remember: Happy wife, happy life.

  20. Wonderful column, mio amico John Kass. I agree re moms. We are dust without them. Re: a new doggy, I respectfully urge you to consider a mini-poodle. They’re smart, like you, good looking like your bride, and fantastic friends. Just sayin’. I would post a pic but it doesn’t appear to be possible. Keep the faith, man!

  22. Happy Fathers Day, Mr. Kass- great column and you are spot on. My own Mother is 97, she gave birth to 8 kids and raised 10- without her there would be no Father’s Day.

    Regarding the dodgers and their disrespect of the Catholic Church, which is an easy target for anyone as we never defend ourselves, preferring to “turn the other cheek”. Let’s see how brave these cowards are- I would recommend that they put on a show featuring a group dressed as the Muslim Prophet, or Hitler lookalikes re-enacting the concentration camps of WWII. And the dodger “fans” who support this are just as bad.

  23. Happy Fathers Day, John. Yep, you nailed it on the head. It takes two to tango as they say.

    Seeing what has happened in that Dodger fiasco just validates me in that I refuse to watch MLB, or any sport for that matter. Rob Manfred has destroyed the game with all the silly “rule” changes especially, hurry up and get it over with. But more importantly, sport has become nothing but a political pile of crap of the left that has become unwatchable, unenjoyable and well, quite annoying and anything but sport. Even good sportsmanship is a thing of the past.

    I’m for the pug. Betty would eventually love him (or her) more than she thinks. Call him Roscoe or Waldo…can’t think of a better name !

  24. Betty is so beautiful! Strong Sicilian face! Great looking sons too!
    A suggestion: consider a Kerry Blue Terrier. We had 4. Great family dog. Protective but friendly with outsiders. Doesn’t shed! GREAT WITH KIDS.

  25. Happy Fathers Day to a guy who has in the last year plus survived a lot. With two handsome sons and a beautiful mom who birthed them may you have a lovely special day. All of us are so glad you are coming back with more frequent columns to supplement your friends who have written in your place.
    GOD made man and woman each with a specific purpose in biology. All the sex therapies and surgeries cannot change that. Males make sperm, females make eggs. There has to be a womb somewhere that carries a child to term and gives birth. All the kings horses cannot change that. Blessings on Betty for putting up with you and nursing you back to your self. Enjoy Indiana, I left for middle Tennessee a few years ago. And get another doggo. Zeus in the end will wag a solid for your doing do.
    PS Dodgers=Disgusting.

  26. Amen Yianni, there ain’t no Father’s Day without a Mother. We are both blessed to have married such wonderful women, that have put up with us for so many decades! I’m working on our 54th year together, although for the past decade, my beloved spouse has had me on the year-to-year lease program. Consequently, I must be on my best behavior at all times….no pressure….
    Be that as it may, thankyou for the heartfelt piece that included your own “wonderwoman” we all know as Betty. My how the “kids” have grown! (I vote for a small lab, or labradoodle, that won’t shed, and is great company!) Stay well….love to the family!
    Leonidas…

  27. Great column today John . Thank you for your great words of wisdom and indeed, you are a lucky man . Wonderful picture of the loves of your life and may you have a fantastic father’s day .

  28. God’s rainbow is seven colors. Seven is the perfect number. The pride rainbow is six colors. Satan’s fall from grace was due to his pride. Connect the dots. Pride month and all that goes with is from Satan.

  29. Happy Father’s Day to all reading this column and to, you, Mr. Kass.

    Zeus does need a companion, but, as usual, Betty is correct. Bulldogs drool. You’d end up having to clean his face every time he ate because of the wrinkles. Yuck. Better off with a mutt.

    It’s true that erasing women has become a pastime in America. Not sure why the feminists aren’t up in arms about this. But since you are not erasing women, you must listen to your wife. Get a dog that will be very helpful in your garden. Winston digs holes for us!

  30. Congratulations on 37 years of marriage but take it from a dog lover married for 51 years to a perfect partner….get a golden retriever. Rocky ( grandkids named him after Paw Patrol) our 2 year old golden is a great dog with the grandkids, other dogs and was easy to train. What’s a little shedding added to our home? Gives the vacuum cleaner a decent workout.

  32. Happy Father’s Day!
    Well written.
    May I suggest in lieu of a Doberman or Bulldog, you get a Greyhound? Make excellent pets and can be great couch potatoes. Don’t shed, eat everything sight and are very loving/loyal. Had two racing rescues, they were great.

    All the best to your family.

  34. That wasn’t a column. That was an explosion of passionate common sense. Happy Father’s Day, John. It’s was beautiful the way you turned it into a homage to your wife.

    In the early 80s, I was living in San Francisco when the Sisters first caused a splash. They were amusing in a San Francisco kind of way. Now they’ve gone mainstream thanks to MLB.

    Why are corporate idiots gaslighting the American people? Because they view themselves as so powerful they can act with impunity?

    Two words: Bud Light.

  35. John-

    Your column, as usual, is spot on. We used to take my Mom to a restaurant in Lombard for breakfast on Sundays. Can’t remember the name, but the manager was George. He used to always tell us that the Mom’s are the ones who have the power. Also, went to one of your favs, Juicy-O in Downers.

    Check out doodle mixes. No shedding. We had a schnoodle (schnauzer/poodle) until he passed last year, now have a mini Aussie-Doodle. 18.5 lbs of pure unbridled energy and joy, affectionate, too.

  36. Definitely try a miniature schnauzer…….great dogs,don’t shed…..our first bit my mother in law and was rewarded with filet mignon……
    As time went by we noticed that our schnauzer would bark at democrats….
    It shows you how smart schnauzers are
    God bless
    Happy fathers day

  37. Happy Faddas Day John. Great column. When I retired we went to Paws in Lincoln Park and brought Baby the wonder dog home with us. I never had the time when I worked and always said when I retired I would have the time. She seemed to be aging early as she would be dozing in front of the TV with me in the early evening hours. We soon acquired another pup to keep her company and he helped keep that puppy energy intact. Since Buddy needed a home he found one here with us and he fit the bill. We took my Dad to a flea market to get him out from the nursing home and found another puppy being sold from what is a probably a puppy mill. I know advocates don’t recommend you get pups from these people but that doesn’t mean he didn’t deserve a home. I couldn’t leave him there like that. He needed help too so we brought him home also. I never thought I would have three pups but they’re all rescues of some sort. My acquiring of three pups that I never thought I would have are like any good Catholic pregnancy. UNPLANNED.

  38. “I don’t care what the Democrats say, you can’t have Father’s Day without a mother.” I’ve never heard a single Democrat say that. Not one. Did you know the Sisters raise money for AIDS, LGBT-related causes, and mainstream community service organizations, while promoting safer sex and educating others about the harmful effects of drug use and other high risk behaviors? Purposeful in they’re satire, aren’t they? If the path from faith leads you to Christian Nationalism, intolerance, hypocrisy, and self righteousness, what good is the path?? The Sisters get one thing right, they mock the institutions of faith because they don’t recognize Christ’s example in modern Christianity, they see hypocrisy and politics, neither are tenets of Christ.

    1. Glad to see renowned nitwit Riga T has made an appearance from his penthouse perch from his fictional 60 story hi rise he built in Wisconsin. His managing of his imaginary business empire doesn’t stop him from sending us his blessings. I thought we chased you away from this site but like a bad case of syphilis, even penicillen won’t get rid of you. Riga-T you are still and will always be a bore. You are definitely person of wit. Nitwit, Halfwit and Dimwit that is.

  39. It’s Father’s Day, we have a wonderful new Kass column, and yesterday a career minor leaguer delivered a historically great performance for our season-long-injury White Sox.

    What’s to worry about? That the lefties will push through a Non-Binary Day? That Trump and Biden will stage another demagoguery-vs-dementia presidential race? That Chicago will become Detroit West? (Maybe too late to worry about that one.)

    No, we JKN readers can stop worrying, for today at least. Life is good and Kass is among us. Maybe because Betty is among us. Zeus too.

  40. God bless you John Kass…from one father to another:
    Becoming a father is a great feeling.
    However, each of us fathers must realize it is a team effort.
    Thank you moms & God!

  41. Glad you have a new garden to enjoy! Get a medium size Mutt at a local shelter, so many great dogs waiting for a loving home. Beautiful Family pictures. Happy Father’s Day, John. God Bless you and your Family.

  42. Happy Father’s Day John, I have to tell you that you are a very fortunate man to have a wife like Betty. You were certainly punching above your weight class when you got her. Re. dogs we do not have a dog but my daughter does and she visits us on a regular basis with Maria the rescue dog from Ecuador, she is just a puppy but she brings joy to me every time she visits. Good luck to you and your family.

  43. As many other Seniors now, memories of young beautiful brides and young children filling one’s lives, the song “Yesterday When I Was Young” bring tears.

  44. John, thank you for the mention of my Mother in your column today. I know you did it at the request of my very close friend, Phil C.! You never had a bigger fan than my Mom and rest assured she will be watching over you from above. Your articles kept her going! Thanks again!

    Neil Bresnahan

  45. Go with your wife’s inclination and get the Dobie. It’ll pep Zeus up a little and Zeus, the elder, will slow the Dobie down some. Also those rabbits will no longer have time to to mock Zeus, my Dobie of 11 years and counting is pretty quick. They only look scary.

  47. Hope you and Betty had a wonderful Father’s Day! Also hope you continue to feel better each and every day.
    Great column as always, but I just wanted to caution you about a second dog. I made that mistake years ago, and when the original has ruled the roost for many years, it’s very hard for them to see another dog receiving all the attention, which will always happen. I know our first dog never recovered from it. She totally lost her personality and was very noticeably saddened by her loss of status. I tried it again recently with our current greatly loved little critter. I could see the change in her immediately as she has always been my baby and didn’t like the competition. She’s our little Shi Tzu, Francine, and I couldn’t do that to her. So be careful, Zeus has feelings, too!
    Have a great one, John, stay well!

  49. I for one would buy 2 subscriptions if Betty were to write a column about you lol! Thank you for continuing to be a voice of reason in our currently insane world.

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