Behold, the Return of the Golden Moutza of the Month

By John Kass

Sept. 1,2023

If truth be told (and why else would I be here?) most sequels aren’t all that exciting.

Hollywood was once known as Tinseltown, but it really should be called Derivative Ville, since little there is original, and everything in what is called the movie industry is derived from something else. The stock is quite thin, like weak chicken feet broth.

Can you really sit through another “Jason Bourne” movie?

Some sequels are decent, like “The Return of the King,” “Return of the Jedi” and “Return of the Magnificent Seven” also “Return of the Native” and “Return of Martin Guerre,” the sad tale of a 16th Century illiterate French peasant executed for impersonating another illiterate French peasant.

Who wants to go out after that movie for pie and coffee?

But what about the most amazing “Return” of all? “The Return of the Golden Moutza of the Month.”

Many of you, from my friends Steve the Pilot and Eve the Cop and others, think that this is a signal that after a crappy year health-wise, that I’m finally feeling better.

Yes, the Golden Moutza is back in all its glory.

Loyal readers know how this works: toward the end of the month I’ll post the call on social media.

Make your nomination like proud Americans used to do once, speaking their mind, or letting their hand do the talking, without fear of the Jacobin trolls. We are not the Mensheviks.

And who knows? Can this old-fashioned notion of “American Free Speech” make a comeback here in America?

Yes it can.

“The mayor, if we can call him that,” writes Carrie Nahabedian, my favorite chef in all the world in making her nomination. “An Embarrassment.”



Chicago’s Marxist mayor is indeed an embarrassment and led in a landslide.

From the Moutza hand of car aficionado Paul Brian.

“Brandon Johnson blaming Kia & Hyundai for rising car theft rates is akin to blaming Old Country Buffet for Lizzo not looking like Halle Berry,” writes Brian. “This is idiocy beyond comprehension.”

The idiocy beyond comprehension is that this de-funder (or re-imaginer) of police who looks  ridiculously like Lenin was elected during a crime wave. The chin beards bear striking similarity.

Rather than play cheap tricks on the gullible media to gain publicity, how about doing something real about rising Chicago crime?

Johnson should blame the idiots at Chicago Teachers Union Local 1 for CTU shutting down schools for two years. The CTU grew thousands of young criminals in those classrooms shuttered by fear. And for a man who prattles in his empty suit about accountability, That’s accountability Brandon.

Moutza their asses. Or indict their asses, Brandon. You’re the mayor. Demand action of Cook County political Boss Toni Preckwinkle.

Oh, I forgot. You’re on CTU’s payroll.

Maybe you’ll forgive them and let them bring guns to the ballparks?

“Moutza to sweetheart deals and double dippers of the Illinois state pension system,” says taxpayer advocate Tom Winike. “Michael Madigan’s loyal yes-man Steven Landek landed a cozy appointment that will sweeten his pension and keep him quiet while Madigan is on trial. After decades as mayor of Bridgeview and the Illinois Senate, Landek will enjoy a double dip of pension dollars, Now he gets a triple-dip, with new pension credits for serving on Pritzker’s Finance Board. But Landek is no financial wiz. He crippled his taxpayers with enormous debt to build Seat Geek Stadium. Bloomberg reported the village of Bridgeview had $260 million of general obligation debt, ‘much of it tied to the stadium.’ That notorious money pit is Landek’s pet project. Nah.”

But soccer is good Tom Winike, isn’t it? It’s the Beautiful Game.

“You’re back! Wonderful,” writes reader Una Copley Goldie. “Deserving of The Golden Moutza, I nominate this clown, M. Kaleo, who should never again hold a job title of ‘practitioner or management’. Blow on that and be sentenced to soak up common sense with a dunce cap on.


In a livestream debate  hosted by the University of Hawaii last year, M. Kaleo Manuel who is then Deputy Director of Hawaii Commission on Water Resource Management made it clear that he believed water was a sacred god.

“Let water connect us and not divide us,” said he. “We can share it , but it requires true conversations about equity… How do we coexist with the resources we have?”

Here’s how: When fires were raging on Maui, and people were begging for water to fight the fires, M. Kaleo Manuel refused to release the water. An entire town burned to cinders and hundreds lost their lives. Because his religion was control of natural resources, because his religion was politics, because it was about exerting power over others. All that tragedy was avoidable if he didn’t treat water like his sacred god.

The political left in this country are rather like Tom and Daisey Buchanan of “The Great Gatsby.” They can crush people with a car, smiling, laughing and chattering and never thinking of the damage in their wake. The Golden Moutza is about philosophy of life, but on this first day back I’m determined to let freedom ring, because “I am a river to my people!!!”

They demand the moutza go to the Mayor of Chicago, and no matter how many leftist heads explode when reading this column, the readers are Americans and deserve a right to speak.

“Mayor BJ of The Marxist Mafia,” nominated Leon S. Benson. “No demonizing criminals?!” NAH. Blow on it”.

“Oh John Kass this one is too easy,” said Lou Berardi. ” It’s gotta be Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson for trying to deflect attention from his inability to stop car thefts by suing Kia, blaming it on the manufacturers. Hey BJ NAH! This Moutza is for you.”

It is too easy.  But you wanted to be mayor, Brandon Johnson. You’re the creature of  CTU but they won’t help you now. Lift up your chin lest we have to grab you by your beard. Look up here, a gift from the people for an arrogant empty suit. The Golden Moutza for the month of August is all yours. You deserve it.

NAH! Blow on it. Feesah Etho!