Losing Sight of the Shore

By James Banakis

October 24th, 2025

I can remember lying in bed one night thinking that I must have made at least 150 significant decisions that day. These may not have been life and death decisions, but they affected people’s careers, someone’s money and my family’s well-being. Then I simply turned over and fell asleep. My thinking was that someone needed to decide, or it wouldn’t get done. I was always willing to take the responsibility. When you’re young there’s a certain confident invincibility we possess. Maybe I thought that I would be able to finesse my way out of those bad decisions we all make.  After all that would be just another decision. I could never understand why some were hesitant to decide. In any case I didn’t lose sleep over it.  As I aged, I became painfully aware that there is so much in life we don’t control and never could. What is it then? Do we control things or not. Are we alone responsible for our own special purpose in life?

I’ve recently read a book I’d like to share with you, The Soul’s Code, by psychologist and scholar, James Hillman.

The book explores the worldwide myth that we all come into this life with a calling. Hillman describes it as the acorn theory.  Each acorn has within it the foundation to develop into a distinctive oak tree.

Ancient Greek philosophers, notably Plato referred to this as our

Paradeigma, or a form that encompasses our fate.  Greek and later Roman thinkers were very comfortable viewing our destiny as predetermined. Plato tells us, “We are like people looking for something they have in their hands all the time; we’re looking in all directions except at the thing we want, which is probably why we haven’t found it.” Today we think of Plato’s reasoning as mythical.

Modern psychology rejects this thinking in favor of genetics and the nature theory. You come into this world as a result of your parents, family, social class, and education. This is the foundation that directs our destiny.  Your parents are responsible for part of your destiny, but are mainly responsible for sheltering, clothing, and feeding you. You get an education to be competitive in life. All this with your choices makes up one’s lot in life.

Hillman wonders why our society is afraid to admit into our lives the possibility of a force pulling you to develop your unique special gifts. He stresses that this is not truth and doesn’t have to be believed. It is not a theory that has to be proven. It is merely a way of reflecting on life. Plato said that those who do think in this way will find that their lives will prosper. In other words what harm can it do to be open to the possibility of an “agent of destiny.”  An easier way to comprehend this, is a guardian angel. A force that has a vested interest in your development. I must be honest this is the point I really became fascinated in this book.

Why?

Maybe because that romantic part of me I try to repress sometimes is just too powerful to resist. Maybe it’s because I’ve witnessed it all around me, especially as I’ve gotten older. Maybe my religious beliefs notwithstanding, I want to believe it. I’d like to believe we all have a soul that is in the process of being decoded. Some perhaps most, who are not open to a force pulling you may never achieve their true potential. It is important to remember though as George Eliot once wrote, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Hillman gives us many real-life examples of people achieving their destiny either from a force field or mentor/teachers who we can view as agents of enlightenment. He tells us for example about a music teacher who “sees one’s genius, falls in love with it, helps and inspires it, giving it a chance to bloom in the world.” I’m sure many of us have seen a special spark in someone in our charge and tried to nurture it.

As I was writing this, I paused to listen to John Kass’ podcast, “An Origin Story.” In it, John relates the story of how he became a reporter for the Chicago Tribune. Passively listening, I suddenly heard Kass unintentionally relate his acorn theory moment. I replayed that portion.  I was amazed John was giving me an example in real time.  How uncanny.

Shortly after getting hired to his dream job on a quasi-trial period, an editor abruptly fired Kass claiming he couldn’t write, and they needed to cut the payroll. Distraught, John thought he would need to postpone his upcoming wedding because he didn’t have a job. Devastated, he refused to leave the building not wanting to accept that he needed to plan another career path. Enter Dick Ciccone, managing editor, who saw something in his talents no one else could and brought Kass back for another chance. Was Ciccone an agent who unwittingly fulfilled Kass’ destiny. John might not agree, but it certainly fits the narrative.

There is a chapter in the book about nourishment to feed your perceptiveness which Hillman refers to as imagination. It’s really our first food. Children have well developed imaginations and are open to absorbing at playtime or bedtime.  L. Frank Baum the author of “The Wizard of Oz,” always possessed a childlike imagination. For years in adulthood, he failed at almost every venture he attempted. That is until some type of spirit consultant led him to writing children’s books. It became his destiny.

My personal favorite example of the acorn theory is Abraham Lincoln. Born to ignorant parents, he received no formal education. His mother died when he was a young child. His abusive father expected him to be an indentured servant. Somehow, despite all this he not only became an attorney but our most honored president. Lincoln was always very open to dreams and spirit consultants.

He came close to being assassinated on many occasions. It would be difficult to find a historical figure whose destiny endured despite every conceivable obstacle.

A few years ago, my life was cluttered with work, and all the mundane events that occupy our lives. I would like to think of that portion of my life as my outward journey. This outward journey is common to each of us.

The paths we take the people who join us, some changing our lives, some annoying us, and some just entertaining us. As Dorothy said in the “Wizard of Oz, “people come and go so quickly here.” Isn’t that what L. Frank Baum’s story was all about? Searching for your destiny, decoding your soul, helping to bring out the best in your friends, and in the end, going home. The things you searched for were within you all along. Someone or something just needed to remind you.

Now I’ve retired not sure what that would mean or how long it would last. One thing though, I’ve made an agreement with my soul that I’m now on my inward journey. Dr. Hillman claims “Aging is no accident.

The older we become, the more our true natures emerge.”

I’m attempting to do what I want to do and not what I have to do. I’m intent on looking at things from a different perspective. I’m attempting to leave portions the material world behind. Don’t get concerned, I’m not becoming a monk. I have though become much more contemplative.   I’m learning that the solutions to struggles and our dreams mostly exist within. Much like your vision after cataract surgery, everything is becoming clearer, brighter, and more vibrant. Bruce Lee, I think said it best, “To truly find yourself, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore.”

“He not busy being born is busy dying.”

― Bob Dylan

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Jimmy Banakis is a life-long restaurateur.  He was an honorary batboy for the White Sox in 1964. He attended Oak Park River Forest High School, Nebraska Wesleyan University, and Chicago-Kent Law School.  He claims the kitchen is the room he’s most comfortable in anywhere in the world. He published an extremely limited-edition family cookbook. He’s a father and grandfather, and lives in Downers Grove Il.

Comments 26

  3. In the Myth of Er, each soul chooses a way of life and then accompanied by a daimōn (guardian spirit) to live out that choice. As Plato wrote in Republic X, “Virtue is free…the responsibility is with the chooser – God is blameless”. Good writing, Mr. Banakis.

  6. Good column.
    Parents are suppose to ‘shelter, cloth and feed you.’ That is the bare minimum parents are SUPPOSE TO DO. More importantly parents are there TO TEACH YOU. Teach you to be kind, fair, non judgemental, think and reason on your own, not accept certain given ‘FACTS’ without testing/proving so called facts, help others, be a good citizen, support your local community but most importantly help ones own family. Don’t expect the education system, especially today, to instill in your kids whats most important in life.
    I was lucky to have parents like that. I was even luckier to have had a brilliant professor of psychology (Naomi Weisstein, Ph.D.) at Loyola University, instill in me the thrill of learning.
    I wanted to be a priest to help others but quickly learned that was not my calling. I went into medicine to do that. Never regretted it. It allowed me certain independence/autonomy
    of practice. Sadly that Independence/autonomy has been destroyed by woke wanna be but not smart enough to be doctors type individuals. I was told I am now a ‘provider’. BS I said, I am a diagnotician and healer. Don’t ever call me that!
    Medicine has drastically changed AND NOT FOR THE BETTER. More on the destruction of the doctor patient relationship needs to be discussed here.

    1. Well said. You know what they say about “be careful what you wish for?” When I was a medical student (1969 – 73) it was the tail end of “doctor as God.” Docs then were one of if not the most respected member of society. I as a young liberal “radical” thought this was elitist crap. Docs are like anyone else I thought, and should be treated as such. Screw Marcus Welby. Well gradually over the years medicine and doctors were transformed. Medicine became a commodity – like any other commodity – and docs became providers – no longer the wise and respected diagnostician and healer of my youth. The doc now was merely an instrument to provide a commodity called “health care.” Now – without demeaning those who do honest work – we were much like any other provider of goods and services: salesmen, plumbers, electricians, mechanics, grocery clerks. So at the end of my career I got my wish. “Be careful what you wish for.” Indeed.

      1. Bruce
        Check out WSJ editorial of 10/19/25 by Paul Terstein, MD entitled: The Gatekeeper Driving Doctors from Medicine.
        Did you know that certain medical specialities provide easier board certification tests based on skin color, gender, queerness etc? Heather MacDonald has written extensively about merit no longer counts in the sciences. Total BS.
        I have personally witnessed the poor training of current young physicians. In my retirement I take elderly destitute/Medicaid dependent patients to their doctor appts. One pt had their blood pressure taken: 150/60. The young md wanted the pt hypertension meds increased. I immediately asked pt if he had taken his antihypertensive meds for that afternoon. NOPE he’d hadn’t. Over next 3 days I took his pressure 3 hours after taking his meds. 106/60. HE WAS OVER MEDICATED FOR HYPERTENSION. HAD TO DECREASE HIS MEDS.
        None of my personal physicians are under 50! I also refuse care from nurse practioners and physician assts. Luckily my internist is ‘concierge practice’ where I pay extra but get to see my doctor when I want to. But unfortunately, when I enter hospitals my care is by ‘hospitalists’ and incompetent nurse practioners. I’ll stop for now. I digress too much.

        1. Thank you Thomas. I was a board examiner for the American Board of Anesthesiology for much of my career. The President of the Board at the time insisted it was the AMERICAN Board of Anesthesiology – not the French Board, or the Spanish Board – and therefore the lingua franca of the board and its examinees would be English; with no accommodation to those speaking english as a second language. I fully supported this. But I could sense there were changes afoot – c/w with the “woke” liberal world view – when I retired. And yes the AMA, and many others are a hopeless brew of inane DEI/woke insanity.

          Regarding Tiersteins’ point as to how these medical boards have a monopoly on certification and therefore essentially a strangle hold on every physicians’ career. The answer in large part I think is his reference to what happened to the Joint Commission. Its hospital certification monopoly was broken up by the Congress. In other words competition was the remedy. The same remedy should be applied to the powerful medical boards. They need competition.

    2. Thanks much. Had a step mother and weak father who practically destroyed me and managed to get my sister killed. Took me years to get my act together, but thanks to an incredible spouse (married 55 years) and a wonderful daughter, everything came together.

  7. Jimmy,
    Before retiring as a 100 ton boat captain, I was asked some years ago to captain a beautiful Hinckley 60 ft sailboat from Bar Harbor, ME to St.John, USVI, in late October. As we departed Maine, we sailed out about 500 miles over a few days gradually turning south. Our night watches were incredible as stars lit our seas all the way. It was then that I discovered the truth you spoke of in this essay – about losing sight of shore! If any disaster occured, and we foundered, it would be up to all six of us crew to survive until rescued. I’ve never lost sight of shore in my life’s journeys until that trip, and loved it so much, I acually did it again, the following year with the vessel’s owner and same crew! You realize quickly that your survival depends on yourself, and split second actions taken will determine the success or failure it. The entire journey brought me back down to earth, and helped me find my way into my own consulting business, working with family held companies struggling to find a path into next generation ownership, or selling. I relate my sailing “aha moment” to clients as it has a direct bearing on their dilemma – to sink or swm. Survive, prosper, or preside over the demise. Losing sight of shore is scary, but can be enlightening and liberating! Thanks!

  11. Loved this! Thank you! Retired for ~9 years and busier than ever – but mostly with doing what I want to do. Yes, it IS too late to consider another career path, but, in hindsight, my choices and luck-outs were just fine if not perfect. Trade-offs are just that, a balancing of pluses and minuses, and most of the time looking back is only useful if the lessons to be learned are truly helpful today and for tomorrow. If all one takes away is shoulda coulda woulda, that’s not helpful.

  12. Fifty some years ago I was going to a job interview. On the way I was involved in a traffic accident that put me in the hospital. When I got out, the job I was going for had been filled. My life went in a whole new direction. Today, I’m thankful for the accident. I discussed this once in Bible class and stated that, if God had a different direction for me, He could have been more subtle.

  13. I’ll try to get Hillman’s book.
    I now have time to pursue God.
    He’s been pursuing me all my life.
    I was too busy so often; 6 kids, business, etc.,
    That I never “set sail”into the deep. Just small excursions.
    The contemplative questions that now enter my mind are “boggling”.
    Being a Monk at my age, is not a bad way to go.
    Great essay. Thank you.
    Oh,……Yes, I have a Guardian Angel.
    I shoulda been dead at 17. And many times over.
    Somehow I’m at 78, I’m just getting started. Again.
    Keep writing.

  15. When ownership is a corporation sometimes in another state or country, workers, patrons, customers, patients are merely entries on a spreadsheet on a screen. They cannot see the faces of those whose lives are turned upside down by their decisions, their greed, their callousness. Look at our nursing homes. They are owned by oligarchs, large corporations. Those who clean, feed, dress our elderly make peanuts, while the owners have multiple homes, cars, and the like.

    Corporatism and our loose, anti trust laws, and predatory capitalism have brought about an accelerated end stage capitalism, which is where we are now. Much of the dynamism has been stripped out of the American economy. When I think about it, it makes me sick.

    The Covid debacle showed me that we have no leadership. The corporations and the oligarchs dictate policy. The government cannot even change quickly policies and practices that are harming Americans. Sweden, for all its faults, was able to allow for flexibility and freedom, and they survived. Coincidentally, nations that could not afford to pay for the Covid “vaccine”, had few deaths per capita than those who lined the pockets of the drug companies.

    When leaders refuse to stand up for those they represent, it is indicative of a societal poison. Marjorie Taylor Green, Thomas Massie, Rand Paul, are the only ones who have the courage to speak their own minds. They are being rewarded by ridicule from POTUS, who is so far over his head that he can only cut around the edges at the many cancers that are killing our society.

    If he sands up to the deep state too much, you know what will happen to him.

    2. John Adams feared political parties from their very onset and knew they held the seeds of destruction from the get go. Why? Because as he predicted the elected representative of the people would be more loyal to the needs of the party rather than the needs of the country.

      Yes, MTG, Massie and Paul should be admired rather than mocked. I would add one more (from the DP, one who surprised me in fact): John Fetterman.

      Sweden turned out to be the proof of concept of the Barrington Proclamation – mocked and demonized by the Biden health care bureaucrats. Sweden in fact did more than just survived. The legacy press and all the apologists for our inane health care bureaucracy never ever cite Sweden’s inconvenient Excess Mortality Rate during Covid: the second lowest in the world. Move along. Nothing to see here.

  18. “The older we become, the more our true natures emerge.” – well said. You’ll see some people get senile, mean, and verbally abusive when they get old, while some become more soft, kind and gentle!
    Also I shall say that I met a Guardian Angel who came to my help at the local hospital while I was on the verge of dying some 20 years ago (and about 7 years after I had my heart attack Which I got for violating my honor with God and buying a family “health insurance” in order to save some 1400 $ in health insurance payment for my 2 college going kids). That morning I was taken to the local hospital since I passed out in my bathroom due to heavy medication for my heart condition and chest pain. The doctors and cardiologist at the ER told me I am good to go after they tested me for couple hours, even after I was begging for an angiogram which I had to wait for another 2 weeks scheduled for at the Chicago hospital. So, when I was waiting in my wheel chair near the exit for my wife to bring the car to take me home, another cardiologist from the same group stopped by and at seeing me in the outgoing wheel chair, congratulated me for leaving the hospital. And when I told him my sad story that I was rejected for an angiogram although I have had to wear my nitro patches every day to go to work in that cold, and snowy November, the cardiologist said “you are not going anywhere” and right away called and talked to the Manager of the cardio group from his pocket phone for a minute and told me you are going back to a room inside the hospital and stay until you are thoroughly examined. To make the story short, I had my triple bypass surgery in 36 hours and the operating surgeon later told my son that my heart was so much calcinated that I would not have survived 2 weeks with out that timely procedure! Yes, even today I am thankful to that Guardian Angel for saving my life and wrote that hospital thanking him for his intervention, on my behalf, right away.

    1. Mr. Namperumal. So you are alive today because by sheer luck – or God’s will – you happened upon a a wise diagnostician and healer, a real doctor, and not a mere health care provider. You are living proof of the difference between the two.

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