The Garden of Earthly Delights in the Museo del Prado in Madrid, c. 1495–1505, attributed to Hieronymus Bosch

Fani Willis, Mr. Humper and the Garden of Earthly Delights

By John Kass

February 21, 2024

He likes wine. She likes Grey Goose.

They both liked romantic get-away vacations to exotic locations, romance in Napa, Aruba, the Bahamas and Belize. Just think of the lovebirds on the sunny beaches of Belize and all those other places. But that’s not the best part.

The best part is that it was paid for by the taxpayers of Georgia. And supported by Democratic plans to ruin former President Donald Trump, take all his money as if this were a banana republic.

Oh they don’t agree, and if you dare mention it they’ll play the race card. But I think that’s just what happened.

She lied to the court. Her Mr. Humper lied to the court, at least those reasonable Americans who aren’t stupid chumbolones think so. Ultimately, they were found out. And that’s when the shrieking about race kicked in, and screaming the race card is the refuge of the scoundrel. Or, in this case, it’s the first refuge of Democrat hacks who’ve been caught with their pants down.

Their credibility has been ruined and so too was the credibility of their political revenge case against former President Trump. They are revealed as fools.

But those were some beautiful, romantic times in the California hills, Aruba, and so on. These were just part of their Garden of Earthly Delights for Atlanta District Attorney Fani Willis and her “Mr. Humper.”

And now she’s a strong black woman being attacked by racists? Isn’t that always what happens?

Against the advice of her attorneys (where have you heard that before?) Willis insisted on testifying. It was all out there on national television as the Georgia court system was dragged through the gutter smelling of too much perfume. And that pink suit that looked as if she put it on backwards? Come on now Fani.

Even the left-wing spin machine MSNBC called her performance a disaster.

“Don’t let the legalese fool you. This is epic,” said federal attorney Caroline Poisi on MSNBC after the Willis testimony. “This is monumental. If things are going in the direction we think, Fani Willis lied to the court. It’s game over for her. She will be disqualified, if they had a relationship prior to [the Trump case]. It’s a huge deal. I can’t overstate it.”

“The issue is that her credibility is shot,” Polisi said. “If she lied to the court, she submitted something to the court that she knew was false and inaccurate, what else was she lying about? It’s a horrible, horrible look for her. I think the case is dead in the water.”

And those wonderful, luxurious trips to exotic locales, ala “Love Boat” or some other cheap reality TV show?

He paid with a credit card, and she paid him $653,000 to prosecute Trump and satisfy some Democrat partisan blood-lust.

I’ll say that again. That $653,000 was paid in taxpayer funds. Oh, but according to her story, she didn’t take free vacations paid for by the taxpayers. She paid her way in cash.

Untraceable cash.

She always had plenty of cash on hand. According to her left-wing defenders, this is apparently a “black” thing.

Silly me, I thought it was also a Greek, Italian Jewish, Polish and Bohemian thing, to name just a few. If I’m leaving anyone out, please whine and complain.

While I’m being honest, I should mention that “Mr. Humper” is not his real name.

His real name is Nathan J. Wade. He’s an undistinguished lawyer  But “Mr. Humper” is what he did.

My brother-in-law Ed came up with the idea because I was complaining that if I called him her “paramour,” I’d sound like some gossipy TV talking head.

“If you call him Mr. Humper everyone will get it,” said Ed. “There won’t be any ambiguity.”

Ambiguity is dangerous. Describing behavior is simple and direct. Unlike others, I don’t like describing people using immutable characteristics like race as if the world were a DEI exercise and Claudine Gay were the Supreme Being. Thank God, she’s not.

Hence, Mr. Humper. Because he wasn’t born to it. He worked for it.

The problem is that Fani Willis insisted that Mr. Humper be given the title of special prosecutor of Donald Trump even though Mr. Humper had never tried a felony criminal case. You’d think that experience–and familiarity with the criminal courts and rules of procedure–would be important.

But she thought he was qualified anyway.

And don’t start poking around as to when they started and stopped their liaison dangereuse, because she might get angry and play the race card from the witness stand and mention private matters much to difficult to mention.

Example, on the witness stand she was asked:

‘Did you have contact with Mr. Wade in 2020?’

‘I’m not going to emasculate a black man,’ she snapped.

What the?

Who said anything about emasculating anyone? That’s creepy. Like Joe Biden using his political clout to sniff the necks of startled young women he’s never met.

This is all quite confusing since she, Fani, vowed in 2020 that she would not have sex with an employee. That would be wrong and immoral, she said. Then Mr. Humper came into the picture.

Now she’s saying Mr. Humper is not an “employee,” per se.

But Georgia taxpayers paid him more than 600 thousand dollars. Oh dear.

“You’ve been intrusive into people’s personal lives,” Willis said from the witness stand, looking a bit rumpled in pink. “You’re confused. You think I’m on trial. These people are on trial for trying to steal an election in 2020. I’m not on trial, no matter how hard you try to put me on trial. I object to you getting any personal records of mine.”

And we take umbrage at your remarks Miz Willis!

Asked about the source of the money, Willis replied that it was the result of the “work, sweat and tears of me.” That’s a perfect title for a book of poetry. Or a moutza.

She said she keeps cash on hand because of advice from her father to have at least six months’ worth at a time.

“I always have cash at the house,” she said.

Had anyone paid her bills?

“A man is not a plan, a man is a companion,” Willis testified.  “I don’t need anyone to foot my bills. The only man who has ever footed my bills completely is my daddy.”

Oh Daddy.

And again with the cash.

How many corrupt Chicago aldermen wish they used the Fani Willis defense, to take and take untraceable sums, and if they get caught, to just hire some race hustler like Al Sharpton or Rev. King O’Beers to scream about systemic racism.

I paid in cash said Fani Willis.

You don’t need some man to foot your bills. And you don’t need your daddy.

You’ve got the taxpayers of Georgia for that.

-30-

Comments 71

  2. Thanks to your terrific writing and remarkable ethnic insights, I can now understand why I can’t sleep at night- it’s all that damn cash in my pillow! My Mother was from Italy and she told me to keep lots of cash in the house, and I mistakenly figured that was the best place to put it. And you are correct, using “Mr. Humper” is much more descriptive than “Paramour”.
    You continue to make your Greek ancestors proud, Mr. Kass.

  3. I do not understand how the American Voter could ever Vote for a Democrat ever again. They told you they will destroy America and you still Vote for them? There is no more JOURNALISTS on CNC, and MSNBC or most Cable and Local news. I do not watch TV very much, just the weather actually. Wake up America you are doomed with your stupidity.
    Keep up the good work John. God saved you and us from them.

    1. Ms Edwards, you and me both. However, when you interact with them and understand their core beliefs, they are twisted versions of how America was founded. For example, property rights. They don’t actually believe in them if they are someone else’s property. Capitalism, not in their bill of rights because in true free market capitalism, there is no grifting. They are losing, or have lost the public debate. Their defense (or offensive) is taken up through gerrymandering and using lawfare in the courts. The NY case, the case against Guiliani, just political warfare in court-and it’s designed to scare anyone from crossing them since they will try to destroy them and take their business. “You didn’t build that”

    2. Yes Helen. I vowed after the Rham Emanuel, Lori Lightfoot,JB Pillsbury Dough Boy disappointments and Joe Blow scam of an election I’d probably be done ever voting for a Democrap (as my dad used to say). I keep seeing Biden’s poll numbers are so low, but yet there are still 28% idiots out there who think this is all great and keep voting that way.

      btw, when in doubt, shout (race)

      1. Actually those 28% “idiots” who approve of Mr. Biden should not be a surprise at all. They are public sector union members and their families, public sector employees and their families, federal employees and their families, and perhaps the contractors and their families who benefit from doing business with the public sector. Then of course we have all those on state and federal aid and their families and illegal immigrants (yeah they’re probably voting too) and the industries that depends upon the illegals and those on aid. There is a whole subculture in this country feeding off the public tit who directly benefit from Democratic Party largesse. Actually I’m surprised that only 28% approve of Biden and company. I thought it would be much more.

  8. Maybe they will get married some day. The local paper will contain an announcement with their pictures and caption. It will read “The Humper-Fani Wedding.”

  11. John, I would like to think I could offer some intellectual analysis of todays column, but all I can really think of is how the dress (from the back) plainly displayed a jiggly cellulite butt and visible panty line. That said, I would love to know more about the involvement of the Biden regime’s plot to get Trump.

  12. Ms Willis is a special attorney since she admitted to possible three crimes on the witness stand in saying she used campaign funds for personal gain and if she didn’t reported that income for both federal and state income tax laws. Like to see the follow up on those issues.

  13. Yianni,
    Might be a tad early, but I nominate Miz Willis for the mountza of the month! Her stellar performances on the stand, plus her tasteful attire-back asswards as it was, are worthy of our bestowing of this monthly award. How many chumbolones voted for her??? Her absent intellect, like Joe’s, alone should qualify her for at least two hands, but in light of her pulling the race card, I submit we should award her both hands and feet, for a total of 20 digits! NAH! Fisa Edo!!! Parta Olla!!! She deserves no less….but that’s just me!

    4. Very difficult to not completely support the moutza for Fani, but the fellow poster children for disbarment, Engoron and James, made a great case for theirs. Maybe a moutza for all the lawfare Democrats.

      My money’s on Fani for the win.

  14. Fani is the complete Democrat woman. She has the morals of Hillary Clinton, the intelligence of Kamala Harris, and the American patriotism of The Squad.

    But she’s not quite as skilled at money management as Nancy Pelosi.

  16. Brilliant, absolutely, brilliant!
    But, unfortunately, the 6Ws (Weighty, Wacky, Wealthy, Woke, White, Women) of the Demorat Plantation Party will come to her aid and get the black vote out in droves for Biden or whoever they put forward in Nov. The race card always wins for the Demorats.
    PS Willis should have studied Orange Man on how to lie and have affairs.

    1. Yes sir. It does always win. And with that rapidly growing war chest of 10’s of millions, they’ll be able to relentlessly pound, pound, pound away for months before the election.

  17. As this story has unfolded I couldn’t help but think, how could one of our country’s great cities elect such an obvious buffoon as State’s Attorney. But then I realized, hey, I’m from Chicago.

  18. Mr Thumper oh how perfect. Why did he need so much water as he testified? What kind of lawyer has people walk in and lay down a load of cash?
    Don’t we all have tons of cash on hand?
    I’m often found quilting my money into blankets for those chilly nights. You should see my paper mache bowls and cups made from money. And these comments are about as believable as having that much cash on hand.
    I will say it was entertaining tv. I remember my grandma setting her up
    ironing board in front of the tv to watch her soap operas. Who knew one day I would be watching real life on tv and it was way better and more dramatic than those old soap operas.
    Fani on another note if you’re going to storm the castle put your dress on correctly, use transparent glue to put your eyelashes on, and wear spanx.
    Thank you for another excellent column.

  19. So often, individuals who have abused their power and position get caught with their hand in the cookie jar doing really egregious and outrageous stuff. But it magically goes away or is forgotten when the race card is laid. Suburban women and the blacks will turn out and vote Miss Fani back in. SMH.

  20. Was it Stalin that came up with the phrase “Useful Idiots”? Little Annie Fani and her Boy Toy should both be looking at federal charges yet none are forthcoming. Strange isn’t it? Unfortunately Mayor Tiffany Henyard from Dolton has the feds snooping around due to her looting of the coffers over there. The repo man is hanging around its police departments parking lot to seize its cars for nonpayment. Although the looting was well publicized Illinois Attorney General Kwame Raoul couldn’t find any reason to investigate. Raoul didn’t want to be called a racist by Mayor Tiffany
    like she called her mostly black city council I guess. The Feds intervened since the public outcry was growing and growing. Maybe Mayor Tiffany should have announced she was indicting Trump so the feds might leave her alone. As Little Annie Fani’s credibility crumbles leading to possible criminal charges, I’ve noticed the usual suspects have gone into hiding. No support from her party. No kind words of support from Schumer,
    Nancy, or any members of The Squad. Theres bigger fish to fry. Shes all used up. Left to twist in the wind. “Useful Idiots” indeed.

    1. Enrique, I was surprised that the so called “investigative reporters” at WGN have gone after Mayor Henyard, given her perfect profile for the Democratic party. Let’s see if they continue to follow up.

  23. Great on the money column! I won’t add anything as, to plagerize Lincoln, many here have diseceted it, “far above my poor power to add or detract.” Excellent comments by so many.

  24. It’s amazing how people give themselves away.
    Fani Willis couldn’t answer a yes or no question but she blabbed about everything to kingdom come. She just wouldn’t shut up! This woman is a DA and tries RICO Cases?? !!
    I knew when she indicted Donald Trump and 18 others that she and Nathan Wade
    were in way over their heads.

    Playing the race card, Fani fools no one but herself.
    Willis and Wade deserve each other, they have indicted themselves
    and both should be immediately fired.

  26. Great column John, loved every word of it, and especially impressed by the inclusion of The Garden of Earthly Delights. Can you share the secret of your access to the wide variety of artwork you use? I want to steal it 🙂

  29. A few comments – and I liked all of the above. First off – does Fani not look in the mirror when she dresses. Her backside had so many different bulges – I though she might be wearing a disposable diaper. She didn’t even know what continents she traveled to, Lastly, who keeps or has that much cash on hand let alone to keep i your house.

    John, I just finished this terrific book – The Little Lair by Mitch Albom. It is about the Jewish people in Greece during World War II and it focused on 3 Jewish Children and a SS Guard. I highly recommend it to all.

    Thanks.

  30. My view is Fani is really a closet prepper … and was outed by her indiscretion with Mr. Humper. As such I’m betting Fani has a stash of ARs and Glocks as well.

  35. Where did the cash come from?
    Does she have cancelled checks made out to her or to cash and endorsed with her signature on the back?
    The cash has to come from legitimate sources.

  36. I’m all in for State’s rights, but a State’s right to imprison a former President and Presidential candidate, for merely pressuring a State to review their election process, to invalidate electors – I mean so what, what is the State of Georgia afraid of, its all good in my book. Conversely, if it weren’t for the Feds, there would be absolutely Zero “opposition” in Illinois. January 6th, properly construed, was awesome, a tour de force for the US – meaning, the Capital was stormed, the Cap police invited the public in – once in, people just took pictures and videos of themselves and left – then a few hours later Congress affirmed the election results. So what! We should all be proud. Interesting times

  37. John,
    Living in GA, this is a huge story here no matter how much the local media tries to suppress. Good job on column and I bet next shoe to drop is judge is a bit dirty.
    Stay well.
    Rob
    Trib Publishing
    ’78-’05

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