Behold: Your Golden Moutza of the Month

by John Kass

October 1, 2023

With Democrats running around with their hair burning over the Joe Biden Democrat dumpster fire, it might not be prudent to provoke the commies (as we affectionately call them), by awarding the Golden Moutza of the Month.

But it’s that time, isn’t it? And I’ve got a job to do, without fear or favor.

There are so many worthies this month, more than usual, from Senator Gold Bars to the mayor and his queen bee and Fox News for their embarrassing handling of the GOP debate.

I suppose the wise thing for me to do chill because I really don’t need another stroke and heart attack, and relax far from the pressures of city life, lounging around in the bucolic splendor of the green acres around here, where they don’t beat you half to death against a fence while you’re eating a slice  of pizza and you don’t feel the need to go strapped to the Walgreen’s to just to pick up your pharma in Chicago.

The Bolshevik cult leader and Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson has forbidden the use of the name of Chicago to we refugees who’ve fled rather than be killed or robbed, beaten, humiliated or otherwise abused.

The cry: Get Chicago out yo mouf!!

They don’t want you to say a thing as they kill the city we love, but they do want your sales taxes.

But Mayor Johnson?

C’mon man.

Green Acres is the place to be.

Farm livin’ is the life for me.

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide,

Brandon? Keep your Johnsonville Tent Cites, your violent crime, taxes, economic failure, your sanctuary city breeding scabies and TB in your Chicago refugee camps and your lectures about what to say and not to say.

Just give me that Hoosier countryside.

But what about Stacy, the puppet mistress of Mayor Brandon? She tells him what to think, what to say, how to play the race card to keep those perpetually frightened tiktok addled white lefties in line. And she whips up the Soros bots telling us to shut up.

No thank you.

Gates was revealed as a world class phony and hypocrite for trying to kill opportunity scholarships for low income Chicagoans including minorities to attend private schools, only to then pull her own child out of a Chicago public school and enroll him in a private Catholic school.

Why?  Because he loves soccer, she said. Moron.

“Hypocrisy and blatant incompetency are core Moutza components. And in terms of the former, it’s tough to beat CTU boss Stacy Davis Gates this month,” writes Ann MacIntosh Baker. “As you so eloquently stated in your column Gates is an Olympian in the Hypocrite Arts.

“School Choice is RACIST, she stated in 2022 and labeled private schools ‘segregation academies.’ Yet when it comes to her own family, apparently the segregation academies are just fine. Her son just wants to play soccer. Right. No one’s buying that baloney Ms. Gates. Here’s one big fat flying NAH to you.”

I added to the flames when Mayor Johnson took Democrat political boss Toni Preckwinkle to the White House. Sun Times reporter Lynn Sweet wrote a story and I retweeted Sweet’s touching photo noting that it was nice Brandon brought his dear old grannie to the White House and didn’t have to bring Stacy Davis Gates with him.

“Isn’t that sweet?” said WGN radio executive producer Jeff Carlin, co-host of our Chicago Way podcast. “She has a nice sense of humor!”

Indeed she does.

And before I start singing Smoky Robinson’s “Tears of a Clown” in a high, reedy falsetto, know there are other worthy nominees.

U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert, R., Colo. “Bobert at the performance of Beetlejuice in Denver,” said Kathleen Keating. “Hands down.”

“Yeah, hands down her boyfriend’s pants,” said Barbara Ellis.

I’ve heard Republicans try to excuse her slutty behavior. Pathetic. She’s a pig and anyone defending her is a fool.

Nah (with gloves on).

President Let’s Go Brandon is exempt, as all presidents  are exempt because we must respect the office of the presidency even if  The Big Guy doesn’t–and neither does Chinese intelligence because they bought him– but there are other worthies.

Da Bears..” wrote Charles Katz “,for embarrassing Chicago. The Bears moutza includes the players, the coaching staff, management and last but not least ownership. Feesa Etho!”

“Chicago Bears Nah,” wrote Tommy Callas.

“So many worthy candidates, but only one can win,” notes John Allen. “Chicago’s Brandon for his communist grocery stores and tent cities for the invading alien army. The head vegetable in Washington for blaming that invasion and all the other problems caused by his misguided policies on Trump. Chuck Schemer for always looking over his glasses at us like some stern school marm while he relaxes the rules of decorum to accommodate a guy who refuses to wear the proper uniform. The senator from Pennsylvania who is so addled that he thinks shorts, T-shirt and hoodie IS the proper uniform. AOC for using the pandemic as a reason to buy an electric car. The gaslighted voters who elected ALL the schmos listed above. The left-wing propaganda machine — otherwise known as the news media — for gaslighting all those voters. EVERY one of them deserves the moutza. NAH! Feesa Etho.”

Lin Feddor Cappozzo nominates indicted New Jersey Democratic Senator Robert Mendendez.

“Gold bars, cash and cars. Wonder what that bought? Hmm. Claims he will not resign. From the party that screams no one is above the law. Nah!”

And what’s with his wife? Two pigs.

Danny Carlino:

“Dana Perino for asking that dumb question at the end of the Republican debate and even worse phrasing asking who should be voted off the island.

Tom Winike:

“Moutza to the irresponsible hooligans who posted a “nude beach” sign at Loyola Beach. Don’t they realize it’s near the Pritzker Mansion ? The prospect of Hippo-man JB frolicking naked in the sand like hippies at Woodstock is terrifying. It’s a miracle the stained-glass at Loyola’s chapel wasn’t struck by lightning from above. Nah!

David Kleckner:

‘I like the woman in Michigan who had a really crappy day when she lost her Apple Watch in the outhouse and had to be rescued after going in to retrieve it. Nah!”

I’d give Moutzes 24-7 to the MORONS who watch that TV show called the “Golden Batchelor.” Keep your clothes on ladies. Eewww, gross.

Also, FOX News disastrous coverage of the Republican debate could fill an entire column, along with Dana Perino’s idiotic “Survivor” style questions, and Ilia Calderón–the Univision personality embarrassment whose constant stream of appeals to identity politics was more fitting for out-takes for “The View” than a Republican debate. The war party establishment wing–reflected by the National Review and FOX News support of Nikki Haley– in full-throated cry, but Haley’s love of endless foreign wars (and love of the big campaign bucks from the Masters of War–runs counter to the aspirations of the GOP base. They’re no longer thrilled by Bush style neo-con politics.

Most Republicans are appalled by the War Party’s propaganda for more and more tax dollars for Ukraine, as the conflict threatens to explode into nuclear war and American small business suffers and President Biden has decided that the U.S. has no Southern border as China and the Mexican cartels keep shoveling fentanyl in the mouths of our kids.

The Democrats and Republicans are to blame for what’s happening on our border. We don’t even know who has come in illegally, how many from China and the Middle East, how many terrorists, how many who wish us harm. And if they cause harm, people like Joe Biden and Mitch McConnel will say they just didn’t know.

And they’ll cash in their benefits from China as we mourn the lost of our country.

But all politics are local, and all Golden Moutzas are personal. Which brings me to Ann MacIntosh Baker and Jennifer Husak Boehm–who joined dozens and dozens of you demanding the Golden Moutza for Mayor Johnson’s brain,  the race card expert with a sense of humor, Stacy Davis Gates.

“CTU President Stacy Davis Gates for defending son’s private school enrollment when she’s against school choice,” said Jennifer Husak Boeh. “Hypocrite!! Nah ”

Any parent should be able to choose the best school for her child. And please media, please Democrats, don’t ignore those parents who struggle against impossible odds to give their children the chance at freedom from sub-standard public schools.

But those who play the race card —to prevent others from doing what she herself had done—should hold her head high so that all parents  could see all of her profile.

You’re a one-eyed Jack, Stacy Davis Gates. All of Chicago has seen the other side of your racist hypocrite face. And all those supporting CTULocal1 over this one make fools out of themselves.

Stacy Gates, bull crap “soccer mom?”

Open your mouth, breathe deep, and accept this Golden Moutza of September.

It’s all for you honey.

Nah!

Feesah Etho.

Parta!

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