Behold: The Golden Moutza of the Month

By John Kass

“I am thankful for all the idiots who continue to give us candidates for the Moutza, with so many to choose from,” writes L. Feddor Cappozzo.

And since today is the day we award the Golden Moutza of November, I second that emotion.

We are indeed thankful, overwhelmed by the never-ending hordes of idiots seeking the Golden Moutza award, particularly all the mutts who criticized hapless Chicago Bears coach Matt Nagy when he was with his kids.

From Alec Baldwin and his abby-normal Igor, ABC’s George “Clinton Donor Zero” Stephanopoulos with the show biz spin in a real movie killing (and all the repulsively ridiculous dramatic music that Stephanopoulos used as a pretend journalist); and then onto that other clown show, the pathetic clown Jussie Smollett and all the political and media clowns who bought his weaponized story now avoiding his  fake hate crime trial.

From DuPage Democrat Mary Lemanski using the victims of the Waukesha massacre as her political weapons mocking them in a spasm of self-destructive wokeness, to John Chisholm, the woke Wisconsin prosecutor who guaranteed his liberal crime policies would lead to homicide.

His policy did just that in the Waukesha Massacre.

“Is there going to be an individual I divert, or put into a treatment program, who’s going to go out and kill somebody? You bet. Guaranteed. It’s guaranteed to happen. It does not invalidate the overall approach.

Perfect. Tell it to the families of the dead in Waukesha.

The corrupt rotting corporate legacy media slobbered like a pack hoping to convict Kyle Rittenhouse but ignored the alleged killer in Waukesha.

CNN blamed the Waukesha deaths on a car rather than the angry driver.

Much of corporate media avoids the obvious, i.e, the woke prosecutor = increased violence angle. The horde is never-ending, grotesque. In many ways, it’s like the dangerous fruits of twisted trees of the goblin lands, in those stories our grandfather, Papou Pete would tell us when he’d make delicious soup on cold December afternoons.

Yes, Papou Pete is the same guy who taught the lesson of the politicians and the donkeys. And as a great storyteller, he also knew that you don’t partake of treats in the goblin lands, even the obvious fruits of idiocy, or you’ll be stuck there forever.

The fruits of idiocy look sweet indeed, as does all that endless chocolate in Willy Wonka’s factory, where fat, gluttonous children might drown—if they’re not rich enough to buy themselves the governor’s mansion in some failed midwestern state.

Don’t eat the sins of the idiots! Keep them away with a Zero-calorie Moutza. You know how this is done, with the palm of the hand, the fingers spread wide, a Nah! Here, a Feesah Etho, there, a Parta! (Take them), find me on Facebook, nominate, enjoy.

This is the way.

“To all the mutts who heckled Bears coach Matt Nagy at his son’s high school football game!” said Patrick Fitzmaurice. “I’m ready for a new coach also, but to heckle him at his son’s game is gutless low-class behavior! You want to boo the guy at a Bears game, fine, but not at events with his children. The worst part is you spineless cowards wouldn’t have the stones to walk up to him and say it face-to-race. So, NAAAAH!!”

Yes, Pat. We want Nagy gone, but cowards trashing the man’s kids break all bonds of honor.

And take it, eat it, blow on it.

Nichols G. Grapsas nominates the terrified capitalist and CEO of JP Morgan Chase for caving before the Chinese Communists like shrinking violet/action hero John Cena.

Dimon, American banker, dared make a joke that his bank would outlast the Chinese Communists. And just like that he caved faster than the spineless politician dad in “Red Dawn.” (No, not Harry Dean Stanton).

“Jamie “Captain Courageless” Dimon, for calling out the corrupt, evil and altogether Biden-owning Chinese Communist Party in a joke,” Grapsas said. “Then apologizing for doing so like the woke POS he and his ilk have become in kowtowing to those who seek to harm us, while allowing the Dimons among us to profit in the process. NAH!! Feesah Etho you Mala… [making soft by over-use].”

Grant Davies nominated Gov. Pritzker for his embarrassing reaction to the Rittenhouse acquittal, bemoaning the fate of Joseph Rosenbaum, convicted rapist of little boys who was killed after threatening to kill Rittenhouse and reaching for Rittenhouse’s gun:

“Of all the inane things that Gov. Pritzker (a.k.a. Gov. Toilets) has said, the one that stands out as the most deserving of a giant Moutza is this…Pritzker’s statement that “26-year-old Anthony Huber and 36-year-old Joseph Rosenbaum, had their whole lives ahead of them. They deserve to be alive today. They deserve justice.”

Rosenbaum was a convicted child molester who attacked Rittenhouse in the riots of Kenosha.

“He was a convicted child molester, and this imbecile (Pritzker) knew it when he wrote that statement,” Davies continued. “Blow on this you blowhard!! NAH.”

Agreed. When he speaks, well, you know what the donkeys do. And how did Pritzker ever escape the Wonka Chocolate factory?

There were many fine Golden Moutza nominations, but I hesitate to use this one, from Nancy Trainor, who face-palmed herself over me.

“Well, I think I should nominate myself for not cancelling by subscription (to ‘THE PAPER.’)

“I foolishly kept the subscription after you departed ‘the paper,’ mostly because it was such a bargain…I called to say ‘cancel.’ The young customer service gent asked me why and I replied ‘the paper’ had gone too far left and that John Kass is gone.

“He said, ‘I don’t understand what you are saying.’ I said it again and he said he still didn’t understand. So NAH! To me!”

Don’t be so hard on yourself Nancy. Forgive yourself, Nancy. Just subscribe to

It won’t be free forever. Soon, in a few weeks, I’ll begin charging for columns. But if you subscribe, I’ll keep writing.

Bryan Surek seems to have a winner winner, chicken dinner.

“My nomination for the November 2021 Golden Moutza of the Month goes to Mary Lemanski, a now former social media manager of the Democratic Party of DuPage County.

“She was cancelled due to a number of now deleted tweets regarding the Waukesha tragedy, one of them being ‘I’m sad. I’m sad anytime anyone dies. I believe in Karma, and this came around quick on the citizens of Wisconsin.”

“Karma in the form of a Moutza nomination, Mary Lemanski. Nah!”

And Ann McIntosh Baker put it this way:

“The Moutza was MADE for nitwits like her. I can think of no one more deserving this month. Blow on this one, Mary.”

Lemanski, there are others also deserving, like Dr. Fauci who feeds his megalomania and becomes a god of science, and Baldwin and Fredo Cuomo, Jen Psaki who idiotically said “the pandemic” is a “root cause” of looters smashing and grabbing from high end stores in liberal, blue states like Illinois.

The pandemic forces people to rob jewelry, Louis Vuitton and Gucci bags?

And prosecutor Chisholm and all the other left wing prosecutors supported by the media, George Soros and media Social Justice Warriors. These creatures are legion, and their days of honoring themselves are not yet at an end.

But Mary Lemanski is at an end. So, lift your chin Mary, think of all those people who were killed in the Waukesha Massacre, the grandmothers, the children, and all those you insulted because you didn’t like Kyle Rittenhouse being acquitted in another case.

You’re representative of a class, the left wing twitterati, the scolds that attack and attack and attack.

You earned this, haven’t you? You prepared yourself, you worked at it, and now it’s all yours.

The Golden Moutza of November belongs to you, Mary Lemanski.

Let it attach itself to your name.

And blow on it.


(Copyright 2021 John Kass)

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