Behold the Golden Moutza: George Soros’ Marxists Don’t Just Kill Newspapers; Plus Fani & Mr. Humper and More

By John Kass

February 2, 2024

Have you seen that horrific video of the Venezuelan illegal migrants—most likely prison convicts dumped on us by —stomping beating and trying to murder two police officers in New York’s Times Square?

Of course you’ve seen it. You’re not chumbolones. I call it attempted murder because that’s what it is: some of the gang holding the police officer down on the sidewalk while others run up trying to kick the head as hard as they can, and that’s the kill shot.

I thought only violent Chicago yutes did that, swarming like rats over their taxpayer prey, but apparently that fighting style is also known in the socialist paradise prisons of Venezuela run by bus-driver turned dictator-for- life Nicholas Maduro.

Or what of headlines like this one in the New York Post about that attempted mob murder of police officers that could happen anywhere, especially in a “Sanctuary City” like New York or Chicago?

“Cops allegedly beaten by rowdy migrant mob near Times Square—with suspects later freed without bail: horrifying video”

When they walked out of court without having to post bail, some smirked and others flipped the bird at news photographers.

American taxpayers pay for their food and housing some even have their laundry done per the liberal Democrats. And they mock us. Who’s is responsible? Isn’t that what the Golden Moutza of the Month is for?

News cameras hovered around liberal Democrat Gov. Kathy Hochul, but she distracted them saying Venezuelan gang bangers should be immediately deported. And local media, being of the left, were only too happy to be distracted. But she and other politicians are full of horse poop.

“Sanctuary City” laws so beloved by Hochul, Mayor Adams and liberal suburban Democrats with those “Hate Has No Home Here” signs in front yards are extreme liberal Democrat hypocrites. Why? “Sanctuary City” laws they passed have another feature. They block deportation.

And don’t forget that most Democrats, like President Joe Biden called on illegals to surge the border “because that’s who we are.”

Listen to Biden for yourself, here.

I suppose you can blame the George Soros prosecutors like NY’s Alvin Brag or Chicago’s Kim Foxx, but these two and all other “Sanctuary City” advocates are protected and their pro-Soros local media lickspittles. And most of those metropolitan papers are themselves going broke under the “Go Woke, Go Broke” rule.

It’s happening in Chicago, too.

Notice you don’t see news cameras and pro-Soros outlets camped outside Bragg’s office or Kim Foxx’s office demanding answers, do you? Funny how the Jacobins work, eh? And lest I be accused of partisanship, what about the Republican Combine lord Mitch McConnell, as pink as one of those artisanal  Kentucky hams doing an immigration deal that won’t do anything but squeeze American taxpayers.


Before I forget, share this one with Schumer. You take three fingers of it and give Schumer two.


“So many stupids, so little time,” lamented Mike Ehlert.

David Addison replied thusly, “With so many of late, I fear there would be Moutzaflation. (I want dibs on that word and all the moneys made from it. I need extra cash, my grocery bill looks like a City Hall payoff list.”

But what about what about Fani Willis, the Georgia prosecutor whose amour billed taxpayers with Fani’s help for luxury cruises and other fancy travel as they pursue Donald Trump to the gates of hell.

“I suggested earlier this month that Hunter Biden be nominated for the Golden Moutza, but in light of recent developments in Fulton County, Georgia, I am compelled to nominate Fani Willis,” says Nancy Trainor. “ What the hell was she thinking?!!

“As an aside, go on you tube and google Fulton County public hearing. Some whack job stood at the podium and swung a big long Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog around (an obvious reference to Fani’s beau). It’s hilarious!” said Trainor.

What was Fani Willis thinking? I can’t say. But I can say I’m troubled over what to call her lover, who she hired as a prosecutor and took him on romantic trips on the taxpayer dime, even though he hasn’t prosecuted a felony case.

Isn’t that grounds for an indictment?

What to call him? “Lover” seems too Victorian for  Fani doesn’t it? And references to Nathan’s Hot Dogs are far too vulgar…So what to do ? What to do?

“How about calling him ‘Mr. Humper,’ “ said my brother-in-law Ed Grund. “It has the air of respect.”

Yes, and sodden with the dignity a race hustler like Willis deserves. But of course: Fani Willis and Mr. Humper! Perfecto!!

Some pushed for Bulls fans to win the Golden Moutza.

“Mr. Kass, there can be only one nominee for this month’s Golden Moutza. Those Bulls fans who booed the late Jerry Krause as his widow was accepting his induction into the first class of the Ring of Honor. So NAH !! to you “fans” for disrespecting a dead man and casting shame on the Bulls and the people of Chicago,” Beer Girl.

And David Mansfield said “Excellent choice, Beer Girl, I was dwelling on a nominee and had a couple in mind, read your post and decided to not nominate this month. Far and away your nomination is the best.”

“I would like to nominate” our psychotic weather and the media’s talent for making much of nothing,” said reader Bruce Vee in his Golden Moutza nomination, made as most of them are on Facebook. “ “We have been lulled into a sense of complacency with the mild “El Nino” expectations while fending off the constant drone of mass-media’s frenzied reporting of “10 million Americans under the threat of…(place your natural disaster here)!!!!!” Between the atmospheric rivers, the 1,000 year drought, the sub zero temps or the Alps-induced blizzards, I am punch-drunk. Add the obvious roll-over into instant dead-of-winter 36″ of snow and sub freezing temps, followed by the inability to see across the street due to window-pressing fog banks, I am shouting “NAHHHHHHHH” every time I look out the window. Perhaps a little dramatic, because I understand it IS a Chicago-area winter, but the crazy media hype is unbearable. Nah!”


Some want Taylor Swift to get it because of the Swify love for the Kansas City Chiefs, and that’s reason enough to hate them. But my sons are in love with two Swiftys, so I’m too chicken to go there.

I don’t mind publicly despising the drooling pro-Soros lefties who killed  a great Chicago newspaper. But I don’t dare provoke the anger of the Swifties. I’m not that crazy.

“It’s not too late. But the Chicago City Council passed a resolution calling for a ceasefire,” writes Jeff Schwartz. “A ceasefire between Israel and Hamas in Gaza. First off why is the city sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong? Why not worry about what’s going on in their own city? We can’t get a ceasefire in Chicago, so a big Nah to Mayor Tomahawk Johnson for breaking the tie.”

Has everyone noticed the pointy head he shows off in photographs. Perhaps it’s Johnson’s stylish haircut that gives his head a point. Or is it the panic attacks?

Chicago is a war zone too. But the Democrat Socialists who love George Soros are more interested in Gaza.

Simply put, the leftists hate you Jeff Schwartz. And me.

Remember, warns reader Joe Malez: “This is a public service announcement for The Golden Moutza nomination: Presidents, current and former are not eligible for the Moutza no matter how deserving. Follow the rules. Nah!”

Indeed. Rules are rules. So I can’t very well give the Golden Moutza to the man who has created all this chaos in America. And giving one to his spineless servants is just not fair, since the Big Guy is the one responsible. All the minions are doing, from cabinet secretaries holding the borders open on down are being loyal to China’s meat puppet.

Here he is enjoying his ice cream to the applause of the White House press corps.

So, even though there is chaos upon chaos as Joe Biden’s angels destroy the border, as they allow the smuggling of the illegal criminal villains from Tocoron Penitentiary Center in Aragua state (Venezuela), who beat up the cops and smuggle in the fentanyl that kills American children, and install George Soros prosecutors who won’t prosecute, Mr. Malez’s words are flat and smack us in the face.

And Fani Willis and Mr. Humper need their votes too. Poor Mr. Humper needs taxpayer support to continue his luxury lifestyle and fancy trips and all that gourmet chow and the top shelf booze.

But I have given my word not to give their supreme leader in Washington the Golden Moutza, as Joe Malez rightfully reminds me.

I respect the office, even if Biden does not. I will not give him what justice demands, but you can.

Yes, he’s a weasel and takes millions from China and his people are weasels and they’re killing the country.

They must have a name, these weasels. A political party perhaps. Something to identify them with. They are not Republicans, even if Mitch McConnell is one.

They despise you. They laugh at you. And they expect that your anger will fade and they will turn and snicker and laugh.

Is there something we can call them? You know who they are, they’re all about taking your money under color of law and buying votes with it. But who are they? You know what they are.

Just give them the Golden Moutza where and when it hurts most.

On Election Day.

It’s the only day they care about, the day you can tell him to lift his face, blubbering with ice cream and drool, and tell him to Blow on It.

Just put your lips together and blow.

I won’t do it. I’ve made a vow. But there’s nothing stopping you in the privacy of the voting booth. Yet you can do it.

And you can say Feesah etho, Joe.

As for me? I’ll wait. I can wait until November.


(Copyright 2024 John Kass)


Comments 43

      1. And a well deserved Moutzaflation as well. Since Mr. Kass states that the current occupier of the Presidency is not eligible, who is more than deserving of the Golden Moutza than those who put him and all the other idiots in office.

    1. Sadly, a minimum of 65-70 million of the same voters who put this Charlie McCarthy of a president in office will again vote for him despite the toll the four years will have taken on their families and country.

      They are too stupid, or brainwashed, to even stand up for themselves and their family! Once upon a time you could depend on the American voters to at least vote in their same self interest, but those days are gone.

      1. They need to vote for their couch on Election Day. Stay home.

        If I were to pick one group of leftists to nominate it would be our country’s media. It’s the media who has lied to the American people since 2016. I could go into all their lies, but I don’t think there is enough space here. And the people just gobble it all up. The days of corporate Media telling truth are, sadly, over.

    1. A Two-fer
      Where’s our forward Moutza planning? Where’s our budget, our strategic plan, our mission statement, including our DEI objectives?

      Rumor has it the emerging Chicago Department of Foreign Affairs can’t find office space. There are ambassadors to appoint and embassies to open. Thoughtlessly, our Mayor told them to go down the hall and share cubicles with the Reparations, the City-Owned Supermarkets and the Charter School Disassembly Committees. Why? There’s plenty of vacant office space in the Loop for rent or for the City’s expropriation. Where’s the leadership? Dorothy Tillman would never tolerate this!

  1. McConnell must go, and Schumer must go. They are responsible along with other for the destruction of the US. Thugs come into our Country, beat our Policeman, and no one does anything about them, they go from of the Judge and he lets them lose and while they give the people the finger they fly to California. Do people know who came into America? Young people like that to destroy the American Dream and the Government of of Democratic run Cities and DA’s are for it. The Teacher’s Union have run the schools to the ground for power and greed, approved by the Liberal Governments around the Country. We have gone to far to go back, fools have sold our Country to China, over 26,000 illegal Chinese came into the Country, young and strong and smart to take over soon. Our young are so enthralled with Social Media and the likes of Swift, they have no clue as to what is happening and when they grow older and figure it out it will be too late.
    We have been invaded by thugs and murders and they are killing are young and our young are too busy with their phones, and sex and fun they have not been taught the the love of God and they will continue to destroy themselves, meanwhile they destroy their Country. Unless they grow up and throw out the bum’s and stop the theft in our Elections they will be become slaves to the Illegals and China already is in Charge. WE owe them, we buy everything they send our way, our Farmers are in trouble, our Gas Companies our out, there is not enough Electric Greed to support the nonsense that is going on and the Rich like Kerry, Gore, Gates, Obama, Sotor’s, and Iran are running the World with China the King. Persia will rise again the good book says, but I know most people have no idea who Persia was, and what is name is today. Stupidity has taken over and of coarse this is the Evils Earth until Christ comes. So sad for the young that are not educated and have allowed themselves to be taken over by Evil.

    1. She describes contemporary Americans as:

      “ . . . rootless, lacking in solid historical identity of their own, and as a result grasping at the cant and ideological crusades of the day to supply them with an identity. What is the first impulse of such people? To destroy—whether statues and memorials, or college courses in Western art and philosophy, or lecture platforms for speakers they don’t like.”

      From contemporary Southern writer Caryl Johnston

  2. Michelle Wu, the mayor of Boston would have been a great moutza recipient for hosting her “ Electeds of Color Holiday Party”. The party of tolerance and acceptance continues to show how intolerant and accepting they really are. When will people wake up?

  3. Adding on to what Mr. Bruce Vee said about weather forecasting, I would’ve also nominated the sheep who are addicted to the fear porn put out by the media, then go out and spend millions of dollars at grocery and hardware stores preparing for the blizzard that rarely comes.
    I know I’m too late for nominations but I have to mention that I’ve read where Taylor Swift will have a big influence on the presidential elections with who she endorses (swifty morons).
    Throw in the Chicago Bears. Every time I see Patrick Mahomes I think of Mitch Trubisky.

  4. Sorry to be a downer on John’s great column. I would love nothing more than to see the human satans voted out, but what is forgotten is the massive 2020 voter fraud that their minions got away with. Biden won by 85 million votes? Pritzker declared the winner just a few minutes after the polls closed? And the evil goes on and on. They have been planning on the voters low intelligence and short memories to complete the final death blows to our beloved Republic. We will vote against them as we always have, but it will matter not. Pray that I am wrong.

    1. Sadly, Ms Ciesla, I agree.

      As has been opined, “If voting made a difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.” (While apocryphally attributed to Mark Twain, there’s nothing to substantiate that assertion.)


      I believe that, with the exception of local elections in areas away from major cities, we no longer enjoy the power and sanctity of the vote.

  5. How and when do We get to the Puppeteer “Barack Hussein”? Seems this all has been His plan since he was a senator in The Peoples Republic of Illinois. Poor demented Joe has been used to carry out the plan. Who will replace Joey when he is thrown out with the trash?

  6. I don’t do Facebook, Musk…errr X, or tic toc. So, I don’t have the ability to nominate, and I’ll just throw one out for the hell of it.

    So many good choices as usual and I wholeheartedly agree with Marie…spot on.

    I will give a not so honorable mention to Illinois Congressman (of course from Chicago) Justin Slaughter, for his asinine proposal regarding traffic stops. Oh, when the oil got hot in the frying pan, it took all of 24 hours to back off and give the typical political double-talk. I’ll also mention he is part of the (not so) safe-t act brigade. I guess maybe if enough of these types get passed, we won’t need politicians since laws won’t need to be created since nothing is enforced, followed or honored. Nuff said.

  7. Such sadness. Watching this once great country become borderless (no longer a soverign nation) and hearing so many people touting the leadership(?) of Biden and all the wokeness the people are swallowing and adopting. We are a 3rd World Nation with nothing but the trappings of a world leading country. We need many many Moutzahs to pass out to so many.

  8. John, since you don’t want to award a faskeloma to the President out of respect for the office, why not one for the Nomenklatura that controls his every movement, that collection of Democrat politicians, big money men and bureaucrats who are all unaccountable and stay behind the scenes?

  9. The Moutza award column has always been my favorite. I grab a cup of coffee and take time to savor, and have a chuckle over the idiots nominated.
    Moutzaflation is perfect way to describe this monthly column. Thanks David Addison for the word. I enjoy reading all the nominations. As time has marched on the lists get longer and longer.

  10. Respect for the Office has been a valuable lesson for me I have learned from this space. Its especially useful for those peoples, if you will, who have been on the receiving end – and I mean it. Am grateful for this lesson.

  11. It makes me extremely upset when Pres. Biden says he cannot do anything about the border now. He is the (fill in the blanks) President or did he forget. He is blaming Congress now for not doing their job by closing the borders. Who is he kidding. Does he all think we are losing it like him. Why doesn’t someone in the press ask him what he is talking about. Come on people, please wake up.

    1. Actually, he’s blaming the Republicans for not giving him more money to process more illegals faster across the border. His complaints have nothing to do with closing it, since he could legally do that this afternoon with the swipe of a pen.

  12. I don’t recall seeing our Zuckerbuddy moutza’d yet for his $ 400 million Biden installation insurance policy for the 2020 ballot dump. HE as much as amy single individual owns the current mess.

  13. All levity aside (and appreciated,) the state of this country’s political system is too depressing to choose just one. All our politicians are corrupt and care only for the perpetuation of power. They would rather condemn this country before acceding any power. For the past few year I’ve had the feeling that the government is purposely trying to kill us. The uncontrolled illegal immigration, the constant wars, the covid lockdowns. And the people responsible are never held responsible. A disgusting little intern had gay sex in the Senate for his jollies on X. No repercussions. Venezuelan criminals beat cops , they get a free trip to California. Our very own President is a Chinese traitor.
    You can’t pick. They all despise me.

  14. All well said.
    BUT on Megyn Kelly last nite, pols show Biden significantly leading pussy grabbing Orange Man!!! Shades of the nonexistent red wave of 2 years ago. Orange Man recently took credit for overturning Roe!!! Huh! Really smart! As I said before: abortion and control will take Biden to a second term. Sad, Chumbolones, very sad. We are a fast fading/diminishing voting group.
    The 5 Ws (weighty, wealthy, white, woke, women) will perform their magic. Face it, the Roe decision will keep the GOP out of the presidency for a very, very long time. Maybe SCOTUS should get The Moutza!?

  15. Dang. I’m always too late. I just tried to open one of those containers/plastic bottles that’s mocking us for trying to get to them because they’re wrapped behind plastic that’s harder to open than a bank vault. For all the bags, bottles, buckets, cans, capsules, cartons, jars, jugs,
    boxes, packages, packets and vials that are nearly impossible to open I would have nominated packaging engineers.

  16. Just a couple thoughts: on McConnell: it isn’t artisanal, it is “artist’s anal”, a reflection of his profound artistry in perverting an agenda.

    As to Chicago: the Babylon Bee has said it all: Gaza is calling for a cease-fire in Chicago.

  17. What a weasel you are John. You did exactly what weasel politicians do: violate the law of the land by “finding inane loopholes.” Here you did the exact same thing by awarding the Moutza (“but I really did not explicitly award a Moutza”) to Mr. Biden. This is a clear violation of the Moutzatution, and the SCOTUS (or whatever body adjudicates such matters; maybe Judge Dibs?) should rule immediately on this outrage (I hope I have standing). In fact this outrage is so foundational, maybe YOU deserve the Moutza. Nah. Blow on it.

  18. I’m getting a late entry in based on pending developments. I nominate our very own drooling man occupying the White House, Joe Biden. Since Iran backed militias have killed three American military “folks” per Blinky Jean-Pierre our military has since bombed Syria and Iraq. NO GOAT HERDER CAN ESCAPE BIDENS WRATH! Some poor Bedouin tending his flock in the barren desert, reaches into his robe for a stale piece of bread to eat hears a noise in the sky above. The next thing he knows he’s laying on a bed of roses surrounded by his promised allocation of virgins for the rest of eternity! But what about the goats? They got the short end of the stick. Total obliteration. Blown into so many bits so not even a still living goat herder can find a few now cooked well done scraps to eat. Meanwhile..the Ayatollahs in Iran sit down to a Hallal meal and glass of wine followed by a good Cuban cigar. I mean it sure beats chasing goats around in the desert. C’mon man!

  19. Poor Kasso. So far it looks like he’s in the running for February Moutza of the month award, and we’re only 2 days in. 1st we let him slide with his chummy pictures with Kim Foxx over the holidays ( bless his heart), now he goes back on his own rules and nominates a sitting president? John…what gives? No Chumbolone hat on too tight?

    1. You and I agree. John must have joined the gang of weasels: friendly smiley pictures with those whose views John finds as a true existential threat to the Republic; and of course the classic law of the weasel: “rules for thee but not for me.” Wow. That No Chumbalone hat must be too tight. Indeed.

  20. So happy Chicago City Council has time to fix the issues in the Middle East as they can’t figure out how to deal with their illegal immigration flood of people.

  21. There is only one thing a tyrant/bully/Marxist understands. You know and I know what that is. It was the unwritten law in the neighborhoods. It made people think twice about being a rat or self aggrandizement at the cost of others.

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