Woke Bambi Remake and the Killing of Thumper

By John Kass

October 8, 2023

Poor Zeus the Wonder Dog is getting creaky and gray, so hunting is no longer for the old guy. But with the hunting season approaching, intact and unreconstructed Americans yearn to walk the fields and woods with their dogs, and fall in love again with the wild, and pay homage to our forefathers and the great American tradition of filling the family stewpot with game fairly won.

But something else is happening. America is up in arms over woke remakes of “Bambi” and other classic children’s films. Disney is determined to apply Marxist leverage to classic children’s stories. This is why parents and grandparents are shunning the Commie  Mouse. Though Disney CEO Bob Iger is suffering the pain of Disney stock hitting rock bottom and weakly whispering his pleas to  “quiet the noise,” I still have some noise to make:

I killed Thumper.

It wasn’t my fault, really. I’m not about to make excuses like some Democrat Soros prosecutor. But let’s pursue some “restorative justice” here.

It was our mom’s fault.

Yes it was mom who tried using the classic movie Bambi as some kind of politically correct Orwellian behavior modification tool. It was as if she were a 2023 news executive determined to bend reality and public opinion in the woke culture wars for political control, not with news exactly, but with the blatant propaganda of Bambi.

My mom is a conservative Republican who has long professed to hate the commies. But back in the day when we were little, she played her Bambi card like some woke Disney culture warrior. She took us to see Bambi (and his sidekick Thumper) on a Saturday afternoon, the day before we were to go on our first pheasant and rabbit hunt with our dad.

Perhaps they were having one of those arguments parents have over the education of the children. He wanted us to grow up and be aggressive, to be men, to love sports and the outdoors. She wanted us to read, and enjoy a good cup of tea in the afternoon as if we were journalists. By the way, Bambi isn’t the only classic being neutered. What about Too White and her Seven Dwarfs?

Whatever was mom’s plan, it backfired.

And now? Thumper is dead.

You all know Thumper and Bambi and warnings from Bambi’s mom NEVER TO GO INTO THE MEADOW!!  But Bambi’s mom had nothing to say on whether our dad would take us into the meadow on the other side of a hedgerow between fields at a chicken farm.

It was full of pheasants and at dawn we saw them eating gravel on a roadside. My two brothers and I–about 12, 10 and 9 got wiggly like pointer pups.

We weren’t given guns on that hunt, that would take many hunts before we would ever touch a firearm. We learned the way young dogs learned: by watching. We had a crazy cocker spaniel named Buffy with us–we hadn’t graduated to manly pointing dogs like Zeus, Argo, Jason, Bullet and Buck–but little Buffy gave great effort jumping up to see us in the bushes, his collar bell ringing.

When dad shot a rabbit, Buffy brought it directly to us without delay. It was still alive.

After securing his gun, dad motioned for the three of us to kneel in the field. He explained that mercy dictated you make a quick end to it, which he did with a twist. We were wanted to be proper sportsmen. We were silent.

We’d just seen Thumper frolicking on the screen. He put the rabbit into the game bag in the back of my hunting jacket, my brothers walking on the cut corn next to me, occasionally reaching into the pocket to touch the wonderous fur. It was still warm. It smelled like a wild thing, like all the things we wanted to reach as we grew older.

In a few minutes, another shot, and Buffy brought another rabbit to the circle of boys.

Buffy dropped the rabbit. It too, was alive, struggling in the hopes of escape.

Dad said: Who wants to do it?

We’d just seen Bambi.

“I will,” I said. “I’ll do it,” said Peter. “I will,” said Nick.

As the eldest, I had first dibs. Then it was still. We put it into Pete’s game bag and kept walking.

Some might think it sad, a bit of “Lord of the Flies” meets “Where the Red Fern Grows,” but remembering it and all the Orwellian nonsense over woke Disney remakes (and Disney is already hopelessly, irredeemably woke) I turn my attention away and consider my fascination with hunting and food culture, including various eastern stews tinged with cinnamon, and all spice.

It’s called stifatho

You can make it with beef and onions. But with rabbits in the back and a few pheasants we brought it home to mom. She prepared it. And it serves her right. It was delicious, but there is a moral for moms.

Don’t force hunters to walk a guilt trip. We don’t play like that.

Naturally, woke culture prohibits kids from having fun. And that includes loving “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

For example, the fine American actor with a bad English accent just happens to be a dwarf.  Peter Dinklage played the murderous and patricidal royal dwarf Tyrion Lannister on HBO’s Game of Thrones and has won numerous awards. He also reportedly purchased the movie rights to produce a film of one of my favorite novels involving a killer dwarf.

But apparently he doesn’t want other actors to make a few bucks playing dwarfs. So woke Disney backed down when Dinklage criticized the film project. Disney said it would change the name of dwarfs to “magical creatures” as if that makes them taller. Just please shut up Peter Dinklage!

According to the DailyMail.com, Dinklage explained his rage at other actors making a living playing dwarfs this way:

‘I was a little taken aback when they [Disney] were very proud to cast a Latina actress as Snow White, but you’re still telling the story of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs,’ he told Mark Maron’s WTF podcast. ‘It makes no sense to me. You’re progressive in one way and you’re still making that f***ing backwards story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together, what the f*** are you doing, man? Have I done nothing to advance the cause from my soapbox? I guess I’m not loud enough.’

Sometimes I don’t know what to believe in anymore. I was pleased to read a while back that Dinklage purchased the rights to Swedish author Par Lagervist’s 1951 novel, The Dwarf, which is set in a Italian renaissance court.

It is a brilliant novel and begins like this:

“I am twenty-six inches tall, shapely and well proportioned, my head perhaps a trifle too large.  My hair is not black like the others’, but reddish, very stiff and thick, drawn back from the temples and the broad but not especially lofty brow.  My face is beardless, but otherwise just like that of other men.  My eyebrows meet.  My bodily strength is considerable, particularly if I am annoyed.  When the wrestling match between Jehoshaphat and myself I forced him onto his back after twenty minutes and strangled him.  Since then I have been the only dwarf at this court.”

I don’t know Dinklage’s politics. I don’t care. Does what an actor thinks actually matter?

Actors, after all make a living playing make-believe reciting words some other actor has written for them. For example, many fine actors have played the role of Winston Smith, the protagonist in George Orwell’s great novel 1984.

Among them have been David Niven, Richard Widmark, Edmund O’Brien, Peter Cushing and John Hurt. I don’t know their politics either, nor do I care. Not to disparage them, but like politicians and TV anchors, they are part of the great fraternity of meat puppets, paid to repeat the thoughts and words of others.

Orwell was a man of the left, a socialist. He understood all too well the left’s fascination with reshaping story and narrative. He knew about cancel culture, about the political impulse of some to tear down statues of war heroes from forgotten wars, and to become desperate as they insist upon remaking classic children’s stories as the woke left is doing right now, ostensibly to protect us from ourselves.

In his novel 1984 he wrote: Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”

(Copyright 2023 John Kass)

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Comments 27

  1. Vivid word pictures (again) this time taking me back to that same point in my youth.

    Walking carefully behind my father and cringing at that enormous boom of his double-barreled Wm Moore 12 gauge, then walking up to see the dead creature (rabbit, pheasant, partridge), then picking it up and throwing it in a burlap bag.

    The first time, I kept reaching in the bag to look at the rabbit, then touch it with my hand. I remember being really confused about the whole thing until my dad said “It’s just food”. That seemed to settle it for me at the time, but I never have hunted since leaving the farm.

  2. I’ll never understand why Disney thinks they need to remake classics. I just hope the old ones will remain available so that my great grandchildren can see them. Their parents would not take them to see the woke versions.
    So good to read your words at full strength and without the constraints of “the paper!”

    1. What Jill Lohmann just said: Ditto. The old Disney classics are “classic” for a reason. They are not just good but great works of art. Leave them alone!

  3. John your columns are always a breath of fresh air. You cut through the c**p and lay it out for all to see. Keep it up man. This country needs you!

  4. My mother was poor and raised in Berwyn. They raised rabbits and chickens for food. She and her sisters were brought up having to skip the gun part of the hunt.

    When we were kids, she bought us rabbits, pigeons, and ducklings to raise as pets. I’m sure she was trying to appease the gods of nature. We loved having our menagerie to share with friends, but there would have been no way I was going to eat any of those furry and feathery creatures. Once you name them, it’s over.

    1. Nice story Erin. We had big fat Charlie the White Rabbit
      he’d get out from time to time, (think our mom let him out hoping a dog would get him) but he was too tough.

  6. Did you see the Berkshire shareholder confront Warren Buffett a few months ago at the shareholder meeting?

    A relative handful of Billionaires essentially run the country John. They own the media. They control the “narrative”. They stifle free speech, the free flow of information, and seek to crush anyone that stands in their way of gorging on our money.

    One of their tactics is to keep us fighting. Left vs. right, Gay vs straight, religious vs non religious, Cubs vs. Sox, they don’t care as long as we are at each other’s throats.

    They seek to distract us so they can do their bidding suavely, robbing us blind.

    We don’t need to know a good actors politics. We can value the performance. Just as we can work together on issues we both value. Polarization, isolation and information silos all combine to further the goal of the oligarchy to divide and conquer us.

    Isn’t it ironic that Matt Gaetz is being vilified by the left leaning legacy media for doing precisely what the so called progressives, who are much larger in number than the 8 who helped remove McCarthy as Speaker?

    The leftists would never leverage their vote to gain something they believe is essential. They actually have no core principles other that staying in power and become ink wealthy off our backs.

    I don’t care for Gates, but I agree with his stances regarding transparency of the votes. One issue bills. Don’t link school funding with Ukraine, or child nutrition with Israel, or whatever.

    That’s how they are able to pad the bills by linking unrelated items together. Gaetz is bringing it to light. I fear that the partisans, Jacobins and dim wits wont give his argument a fair shake because he’s pretty well not looked by most. He must be on to something, or at least they feel they can’t control him. They’ve branded him a child molester and are investigating his finances. They smear him to un ermine any credibility of his argument.

    2. 1. Very good column
      2. I went with grandpa to WI to hunt rabbit and forge for mushrooms. Yes it was sad to kill them but grandma made an excellent German rabbit stew. I can still smell and taste it 70 yrs later. Ate a lot of wild game at that restaurant near the train terminals downtown Chgo. Most of it was terrible tasting.
      3. Not sure how Maitino’s comment pertains or relates directly to JK article and I’ll most like likely be attacked for agreeing with him but he’s right. It doesn’t matter who is in office: GOP or Dems. They are all f…ing whores. Everyone of them. Most are millionaires. All are liars. All are on the take. There job is to keep us from finding out who really runs and owns this country (with the camouflage BS culture war battles) and it is not us. I think Wills Roger’s said; ‘if elections could change things, they’d outlaw them.’

  7. Disney did not remake “Song of the South” just bury it forever in North America. I understand you can still buy it in foreign countries but you must have a player that can read the tape or disc.

  8. Yianni,
    Another breath of fresh air. You have the sixth sense of always being able to verbalize what so many of us are thinking! It’s no wonder the socialists of the world are going mad trying to reconstruct history in an effort to “readjust” the future for us all, whether we want it or not! And fortunately, we’re going kicking and screaming, cause we’re not going down that road any longer. FYI – When we were young, my dad brought home some rabbits for mom to cook for us. (They weren’t alive!) Yup, the stifado was delicious, and I had no misgivings of what was in that stew either!! Enjoyed it, and to this day, when in Greece, every once in awhile, we’ll find some stifado on our island of Ikaria! Fabuloso!! Thanks again for clearing the air!!!

  9. Some online wag referred to it as “Snow Blanca and the Seven Weirdos” after pictures were leaked of the crew! The usual suspect Maitano now checks in with his usual psychobabble. Best to ignore the fool. Great column John. I’m pretty sure your fingers are going to burn up the keyboard when you comment on the Biden funded Hamas attack on Israel. Trump once again was right a few weeks ago when he predicted that giving Iran the six billion dollar ransom would lead to them funding terrorism with the money. The Democrats sold out Israel plain and simple. The death toll is at 300 Israelis and climbing. Hamas now has civilian hostages. It’s the Democrats crown to wear yet American Jews, especially in liberal New York heartily vote for them. Joy, Whoopie and the rest of the New York harpies are sharpening their knives to attack Republicans. By the time Bidens spinmasters in the mainstream media are finished, it’ll all be Trump’s fault. We know. We’ve heard it all before. So go burn up your keyboard John. Can’t wait for the column!

  10. Loved the Disney movies growing up. Showed them to my kids who also loved the Disney movies growing up. Drank a lot of the Disney kool aid. Drank so much I bought individual Disney stock for my portfolio which back in the day performed admirably for me. No complaints. My sheckles have done quite well with the stock. Enough said. Carry on.

  11. Excellent column! Keep up the good work!
    BUT: keep Sir David Niven out of it. He should be held up in a different light. When Britain started to fight Germany Niven went back and re-joined the army to fight. Other British actors stayed in the USA and did not return. Winston Churchill shook his hand for returning and fighting the Germans.

  12. I never hunted growing up. I married into a hunting family. We had French Britannies. My dog Satchmo was the greatest upland bird dog known to mankind forever and forever. I enjoyed walking the CRP land on my friend’s farm, shooting pheasants that my dog pointed. Your description of the rabbit in the game bag reminded me of those cold November days and a warm pheasant on your back.

    I never cared to hunt on game farms. Pen-raised birds weren’t as much fun to hunt as wild birds.

    I took my father-in-law hunting one day. He was a master shot in all four gauges. Like a lot of suburban Chicagoans, he had retired to Florida and only hunted once a year with my brother-in-law up in Alaska. He was a tremendous hunter. As a schoolboy, he used to hunt in northwest suburban fields before they were developed. He and his friends would hunt before school. They’d go to school and put their shotguns in their lockers before class. Later those skills he learned would come in handy when he was in the infantry in Korea.

    We drove out to the field and my dog was anxious. We were putting our boots on and he had already pointed a bird. My father-in-law couldn’t get his gun assembled. He had a gorgeous semiautomatic Browning. He was frustrated and cursing as birds were flushing right by our vehicle. I put my dog back inside of it. Took him a half hour to get it assembled.

    We finally started out. Satchmo went on point next to a big brushy bush within five minutes. Being the gentleman, and deferring to my father-in-law, I gave him the first shot. I flushed the birds. It was a magnificent double. Two male pheasants jumped up and took flight in the air! My father-in-law took aim and missed them both!

    I laughed just a little given the situation. I wasn’t a particularly good shot myself. My dog looked at us both wondering why he was in this particular field with these two particular people on this particular day. Missing wasn’t part of the deal but Satchmo was a patient dog. He found a couple of more. By this time, the rust was off my father-in-law and we shot our limit.

    We brought them home and smoked them. We made stew. They were wonderful.

    When my dog died, my hunting days died too. I had moved to the city and the only way to hunt was to make a whole trip of it. I knew people who went hunting in South Dakota and other places, but that wasn’t for me. I really just preferred being alone with my dog, watching him work, and walking the fields. It really didn’t matter if we shot anything or not but he was such a fine dog we always came home with something.

    I miss him and he is waiting for me.

  13. 1. Very good column
    2. I went with grandpa to WI to hunt rabbit and forge for mushrooms. Yes it was sad to kill them but grandma made an excellent German rabbit stew. I can still smell and taste it 70 yrs later. Ate a lot of wild game at that restaurant near the train terminals downtown Chgo. Most of it was terrible tasting.
    3. Not sure how Maitino’s comment pertains or relates directly to JK article and I’ll most like likely be attacked for agreeing with him but he’s right. It doesn’t matter who is in office: GOP or Dems. They are all f…ing whores. Everyone of them. Most are millionaires. All are liars. All are on the take. There job is to keep us from finding out who really runs and owns this country (with the camouflage BS culture war battles) and it is not us. I think Wills Roger’s said; ‘if elections could change things, they’d outlaw them.’

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