Just say Naaahhhh!!!!

Behold: The Golden Moutza is so Bleepin’ Ripe!!

By John Kass

Sept. 7, 2025

You toss a moutza as you would toss a ripe tomato. You hold it, and release the fingertips so it flies, then plops.

Don’t squeeze it or you’ll get juice on you.

But don’t moutza anyone in the United Kingdom. You might be hunted down by the angry leftist castrati there that control English Thought Police that protect rapists and other degenerates.

We have plenty of idiots in America thank you.

Like Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine who campaigned to be a heartbeat from the presidency with the corrupt witch Hillary Clinton as her vice-presidential nominee in 2016, but who thinks our American rights come from government.

Really Tim?

Kaine, a self-professed Catholic who supports abortion, shocked Americans a few days ago when he declared it “extremely troubling” to say rights come from God rather than the government.

“The notion that rights don’t come from laws and don’t come from the government, they come from the Creator — that’s what the Iranian government believes,” Kaine said Sept. 3 during a Senate hearing. “So, the statement that our rights do not come from our laws or our governments is extremely troubling.”

It’s extremely troubling to me that a Malaka can be a Senator. You fool Kaine. Ever hear of the Democrat from Virginia Thomas Jefferson? He wrote the Declaration of Independence explicitly stating that our rights come from God.

Dan Mathewson:

Senator Tim Kaine for believing that our Rights come from laws and government. Nah! Partah! Feesah etho!

Yes indeed Mr. Mathewson. That’s how to give a proper moutza! My grandfather Papou Pete who said that when politicians speak, the donkeys break wind would adopt you.

Jefferson wrote in part: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

You not only give yourself a Moutza, you slap a Moutza in the faces of all members of the Commonwealth. A fool is their Senator.

You think all rights come from the Clintons? Feesah.

Ann MacIntosh Baker

The great West Suburban influencer Ann Macintosh Baker dropped a good one here:

Polish business exec Piotr Szczerek gets my vote this month. Not only for rudely snatching a signed hat away from this young fan at the U.S. Open but then for doubling down afterwards saying “first come first serve”. Thankfully a happy ending for the little boy after tennis player Kamil Majchrzak located the young lad, named Brock, and gave him a replacement hat. Only fitting, though, that hat snatcher Piotr receive one big Moutza for his heinous deed. 🖐

Yes and yes and yes.

But please let’s not forget our own Gov Toilets Maximus (JB Pritzker) or racist Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson who refused to accept federal help from President Trump to fight violent crime.

Chicago is short about 2,600 police officers. Yet Johnson and Pritzker spent it all to address the needs of illegal migrants, rather than Illinois citizens. And none of them, including the corrupt Chicago media, dare mention Boss Toni Preckwinkle, the queen bee of failed justice in Cook County.

But happily, the great common sense Judge James Brown did.

Boss Toni, this one’s on the house.

NAH!

From Tom Winike:

“Nah! Moutza to our very own George Soros stooge, former prosecutor Kim Foxx. In 2022 she dropped charges against serial misogynist William Livingston, who enjoys sneaking up on women and punching them in the face. One female victim after another; sometimes 2 in one day. The list could fill an entire Kass column. Livingston enjoyed kid-glove coziness from Kim Foxx and her favorite judges. In a 2022 crime spree, he attacked 5 women in 4 locations, all in one day. Feesah Etho!

Kathleen Miles is lucky to be alive. A records search produced 13 mugshots of William Livingston. Many those arrests were for aggravated assault & battery of women and police officers.

In 2022, charges were dropped by Kim Foxx

Michael Jay:

Brandon. No need to elaborate. Nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey, goodbye! Take this palm in your face. You don’t need any more “bread” from the state. You and the city are already toast.

Lou Berardi

I’m going with the Dummicrat voters in NYC who are set to vote in a communist as mayor of our biggest city.

Hey you goofs- take this Moutza- you deserve it. .NAH.

John C. Lavezzi

Gotta be (for, like, the 3rd or 4th [at least] month in a row he’s got my vote) JB (stands for JellyBelly) Pritzker, even trying to lose some of his copious pork in anticipation of his try for a presidential run (but the California Pretty Boy-Idiot will probably beat him out), for his extravagant evasiveness when questioned and his advanced case of TDS. Nah! Take Ten!

Michael Jones:

Professional Moutza Mirthers wait until the last possible moment to nominate a Moutza of the Month given the pace of craziness in our mixed up, up is down, down is up, Brandon Johnson is really the Mayor of Chicago, world. A world where to find humor amid the idiots intoning idiocies is an increasingly arduous task.

Thankfully, it seems that the Moutza nomination window is still open and an idiot has presented himself. A late breaking candidate who may be the most deserving Moutza of all time:

Senator Tim ‘Pain (in the ass)’ Kaine.

Not just a Senator, but a former Vice Presidential candidate for the ‘you know who party’.

He redefined what America is and why it was founded a day ago:

“The notion that rights don’t come from laws and don’t come from the government, but come from the Creator…They believe that they understand what natural rights are from their Creator. So, the statement that our rights do not come from our laws or our governments is extremely troubling.”

His words rang a bell. Where have I heard similar words before?

Ah, yes, a fellow Virginian. Thomas Jefferson who wrote in the Declaration of Independence almost 250 years ago:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”.

To progressive democrats, to Democrats in general, ‘inalienable Rights’ don’t exist. We’ll tell you what your rights are and are not.

And, you’ll like it!

Really, Tim? The Bears season starts Sunday and in honor of Da Coach, Who ya crappin’?

And, in honor of John Kass:

NAH! Blow on it. Feesah Etho!

Denise Harmantas Mikkelsen:

The democrats in NY who are set to vote in a communist as mayor. NAH! 🖐

Jennifer Husak Boehm

Both JB & Brandon Johnson for saying “nothing to see here! No crime in Chicago!” & pitching a fit that DJT wants to send the guard out to help…..NAH!!!!

Anastasia Tervolas

I’m in a rut: the liars—Pritzker and Johnson.

Tony Campise:

No brainer. Old JB himself; Nah! 🖐

Michael J. Maggio:

I’m going with that guy everyone is talking about, Gerry. You know Gerry Mandering. Nah Ger!

Scott Fischer:

Governor No Toilet Maximus

Matt Latourette

Trump administration for saying Any Republican who signs Rep. Thomas Massie’s discharge petition on the Epstein files will be seen as committing a hostile act against the Trump admin.

NAH

David Mansfield

NAH dummy. Presidents aren’t eligible. But keep spreading your left-wing crap!

David and Matt? I thought you two were friends.

Nick Dilendorf

The Dynamic Duo …. Brandon and Pritzker!!!

Eric Andrew Simon

 

Thom Heaney

The porcelain governor with his streets awash in blood won’t accept help. Blow on This.

Cris Dosev

Mayor of Minnesota, Jacob Frey, Nah!

Jeff Schwartz

Where to begin 🤔 I just can’t nominate just one. It’s so overwhelming that I’m out!

Paul DiVittorio

I nominate the majority of voters in Chicago. They are lied to, abused, forgotten and made to suffer in crime ridden squalor. Yet they still reliably vote for their tormentors. My empathy is deep for their suffering. Perhaps a Moutza will help them emerge from Stockholm Syndrome. Nah! Parta!

Carrie N.

Brandon

John Stryker

Tim Walz for hoping President Trump would die. Total scumbag move.

John Allen

Richard Nixon. Mayor Pinhead said he’s responsible for all the murders in Chiraq and we all know a CTU union organizer knows EVERYTHING.

Pat Hickey

Jen Psaki – Blow On IT! Because DJT was not dead nor anywhere as non copus mentis as Joe Biden.

John Beris

JB Pritzlker and Brandon Johnson. I did not address them by their titles because they are idiots nah feso etho parta Decca . Not wanting trump with national guard after 50 shooting total morons.

Editor’s note: I’ve always supported the notion that when it comes to the Golden Moutza, there can only be one. But in Chicago, people are dying from violent crime which is now the result of bad Democrat policy and media that promotes violence and anarchy. And I’m reminded that reader Eric Andrew Simon has offered up Illinois’ very own Dumb and Dumber, Gov. Toilets and Mayor Pinhead.

And so for this one time, I temporarily bend the rules  for the greater good.

I don’t think it is politically wise for President Trump to send in the National Guard. Pritzker and Johnson have been stoking violence and insurrection, with the help of the already discredited newspapers and leftist media. But people are dying. The bullets must stop,

So to Pritzker, of soft mind and softer body and to Johnson, spewing all race all the time and marxist alogans, lift up your chinnty chin chins.  So take this Double Golden Moutza in the teeth like men. Nah and Nahto.

You know what to do, Dumb and Dumber:

Blow on it, FEESAH ETHO!!

(Copyright 2025 John Kass)

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Comments 27

  1. So many deserving candidates so little time. How about the as of yet but soon to be infamous “Karen” at the Philadelphia baseball game who lost getting the baseball in a scrum but cruelly went over and relieved the father of a young kid of the ball. Whether aborting them in the womb, or subjecting them to drag queens and twisted porn library books, or taking their “balls” away, these AWFILS have no shame with their attacks on our youth.

  2. Too many are worthy of the Moutza. Sadly every one of those nominated lack the ability to feel shame or accept responsibility. Especially this months pair of winners.

  3. Look on the bright side. Governor Money Bags and Mayor CTU and our two “esteemed” senators) are so busy frothing at the mouth and making fools of themselves that they don’t have the time to come up with new taxes to support their foolishness. Does Governor Money Bags think his acting out can support a run for President? Governor Money Bags can only win the Presidency by buying the nomination and even he doesn’t have enough money to buy the nomination, and nowhere near enough to buy the general election. He has never earned anything or done anything constructive in his life, just bought things to satisfy his ego. Pretty Boy from California, Newscum, will eat him alive. Just what are they going to run on when Trump won’t be running anymore? His ghost?

  4. Great choice(s) John. The Legacy Media covering up for these two could take the Bronze. I also don’t think it would be wise, , politically, for DJT to send in the Guard. And the gang bangers would just lay low for a while or head to more friendly places like Madison WI or Minneapolis MN. I think Trump is just doing a head fake and Dumb and Dumber, along with the godless Party of Ds, now own it. Trump has bigger problems and it was all on full military display on the streets of China and President (Pooh Bear) Xi leading the way with his commie underlings. Think Putin knows Mandarin?
    Nice harvest by the way and I also took the last of my Romas and Early Girls. Peace Out !!

  5. Perfect. Like two peas in a pod. Dumb and Dumber show how vapid and clueless the Dem Party truly is. People want first of all to be safe. The people protesting are suburban liberals or CTU members or retirees. Our kids can’t read or add 2+2 yet billions spent on illegals to prop up the population losses and keep Congress from becoming even redder. I’ll also state it again. If it was not for the great work of our CFD and Emergency/Trauma docs the cooler at 2121 W Harrison would be overflowing, and yet the costs of rehab or disability payments increased at an ungodly rate. Stop the carnage stop the smash and grabs pinhead and commodious Maximus. If you just did your jobs the prez would not be sending in the troops. Rolling roadblocks on the interstate system. Not sure the legal vagaries of such a blockage but I’ll bet the feds do have some control. Enough already.

  6. I think you are being a little hard on the characters in “Dumb and Dumber”. JB and Brandon are simply following the advice of paid political consultants who are laughing at them all the way to the bank. They both do not have at least one trusted advisor, friend, or relative that can quietly explain to them that they are both digging their respective political graves with the continued pushing of a pro-criminal, anti-law and order agenda. To paraphrase another great Chicago native who has moved out of town (Mr. T.): “I pity the fools!”

  8. This award is, without a doubt, well deserved. Meanwhile, I cannot help but wonder why these two useless individuals cannot be charged with aiding and abetting murder and mayhem in the City of Chicago. Their constant lies are truly disturbing.

  9. As always, a great article, John.
    To paraphrase Jefferson (Tim Kane revision):
    “We hold these truths to be half–evident, that all men are created with diversity, equity and inclusion and are endowed by their Government with the ability to become transgender or any gender, and some other Rights, that also come from and are dependent on Government among which are the right to Diversity, Perversity and the pursuit of Happiness by any means necessary.”
    Jefferson was correct that inalienable rights are self-evident and come from God. If governments can bestow rights, they can take away rights like they do in Britain. Is that the kind of government and minions administering it you want?

  10. There are so many worthy recipients of the moutzah award it is unbelievable.
    We have Governors, Mayors, State Attorney Generals, District Attorneys, Senators, Representatives and the list goes on that actually are fighting to keep crime in the cities and states. Then they have the audacity to say they are fighting for the soul of the country. To protect us from dictatorship. Now they have the gall to add that it’s the government that gives us our rights. Mr. Kass, is it possible to give them all the Golden Moutzah award this month? You won’t run out. Pretty sure, like a chunk in an Imhoff tank, theses jerks will rise to the top to get another moutza award.

  11. Hard to uno out of the Villainois pluribus- but Jobba the Prickster does demand his individual inclusion.
    Pursuing weight loss for his presidential campaign isn’t what he needs most.
    Instead of a stomach stapling he should consider a brain stapling.

  12. And here we are, a mere 7 days into the month of September and we already have a spectacular nominee for the month: The “Phillies Karen, ” making sure the little boy and his dad understands that was HER BALL. NAH!

  13. John, I’ve been a reader long enough to have read your words in print!

    I’m gonna put this down here. I will eat it if necessary.

    Trump will not go into Chicago. He will feign, and go to NOLA, Memphis, etc. Each of those cities, along with DC, will be an example of what the R party can provide. Let’s Go Brandon is already done. JB will have bodies stacked on his campaign trail. He is done. And, most importantly, the Chicago MSM will look ridiculous along their way to support those two.

  15. Two weak-ass clowns double the Moutza pleasure this month.

    However, could America have witnessed more of a brace of dubious dandies than the twine she-man VP cupcakes like the Twin Timmys? Timbo Kaine and Tampon Timmy?

    Must every female Demo-Wannabe POTUS settle upon some sissified morphodite?

  16. So many worthy nominations!
    Great job fellow Kass followers.
    I always look forward to the awarding of the Moutza.
    I used to be surprised at the amount of idiots nominated. Now I just smack my head and say another idiot added to the club.
    Congrats to all who got a shout out.
    Great choice Mr. Kass.

  17. Thanks John for pointing out Tim Kaine. I am very grateful to get my news here. So, even before I looked this stiff up I took a wild guess that he was just another Coastal occupying my home State of Virginia.

    Sure enough, Harvard Law.

    My ancestor Dr. Thomas Walker, tutored Thomas Jefferson, after Peter Jefferson died, when Thomas was just 14, and Dr Walker became his guardian. And paid for his law school, and accompanied him to the House of Burgesses “appearing very much like father and son”

    Who spoke 6 American Indian languages fluently. Who taught Jefferson, at an impressionable age all he needed to know about our ineligible right coming from the Creator.

    So Senator Kaine, blow on it until you turn blue you (to quote my late father) sack of sh*t.

  18. To even mention an inconsequential rectal boil like Tim Kaine in the same sentence with Thomas Jefferson is a MASSIVE stretch! All who were mentioned in this article were certainly deserving of the award. Whether or not Trump sends in the National Guard or not, let’s accentuate the positive. I’m not the only ones who have noticed the rhetoric being toned down in the last few days. This is because the Feds are quietly gathering/ intercepting missives of the fools coordinating with the violent Soros funded groups to attack Federal Agents enforcing federal laws. Yes, we have our local elected ” activist ” politicians and political flunkies who are going to get hit with Rico violations for coordinating these attacks against government agents. And these people, including Fat Bastard and The Simp are shitting themselves over getting indicted for ordering their minions to coordinate with the various violent Antifa and Soros funded groups to mount terrorism attacks on federal agents in the line of duty. Federal charges are no joke, just ask anyone who served prison time for rioting at the capital. Most of these rioters would still be in prison if Trump had lost the election. Let’s hope the jail cells are still unoccupied since they will have some new tenants moving in. Illinois is broke, and we can’t afford to pay Hilary Clinton’s Bleach Bit Security team to work overtime to get rid of the emails…and phone calls…and..

  19. I agree there is exactly one Moutza of the month and while JB Pritzker and Brandon Johnson would seem to be equally worthy, I believe that Mayor Johnson is more worthy. While JB is a political realist with a bad case of narcissism, Mayor Johnson lives his life trapped under the belief, quite commonly taught among African-American academia that there is a great pot of money which white people stole from black people and refuse to share. That he continues to attempt to govern the City of Chicago under such a fiction, he deserves this month’s accolade alone. Feesah Etho!

  20. We really should avoid invoking deity into government. Jefferson wasn’t religious, he has been referred to as more of a deist, which is complex to explain. If there is a god, and rights come from that god, then all men would have these rights (and women?) But that is obviously not the case, there fore god either isn’t the author of these rights, or, if he is the author, he is not a defender of them. I am not a supporter of Kaine, Pritzker, Johnson or their ilk. I am a constitutional conservative. I support 100% the freedom of religion, and the positive morality it provides. Invoking religion into government, however, has not historically gone well.
    Love your work John!

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