Mother’s Day

Sunday May 11, 2025

By John Kass

There were blue skies and puffy white clouds overhead. And my heart was alive with the sound of music.

I wanted to think of the good days, the best days, but then the dentist interrupted me sticking his sharp implements in my mouth.

“Move your head just a bit to the left,” he said sticking a syringe in there. “This’ll hurt just a bit. Don’t move.”

“Just a pinch.”

Yeah, it did pinch. Really pinched.  Especially the one into the roof of my mouth. But I didn’t kick. I kept those damn feet still. I’m no baby. I’m a grown man dammit.

I was staring overhead, getting numb, and on the ceiling were two strips of glass, and on the glass (or plastic) were blue skies and puffy white clouds.

As the drill began its shrill whine, I floated myself straight up into those clouds, looking for the refuge from pain like a man in a Phillip K. Dick sci-fi story, desperate to escape into the picture and see the best days of my life.

In that picture, in that sky was Betty, my wife, sweat pouring off her face at Hinsdale Hospital, delirious with the pain of  long labor of twin boys, labor going on eight hours.

She growled at me, showing her teeth, yanking my neck this way and that, grabbing my tie with the anger of a predatory mountain lion.

She screamed.

About my tie.

“Why did you wear this god damn tie! I hate this tie! Why? (yank) Why (yank yank) this (yank) damn tie!!! I hate it!!”

My head almost popped off. All I could do was say I’m sorry but it got chopped up with the neck yanking.

I always wore a tie to the paper. Old-school, I guess. And I didn’t have time to change when I got the call that the water broke and to come running. So, I did, rushing out there in an office pool car.

The nurse soothed her, shushed her, letting me know she didn’t really mean to hate my tie, she was in pain, delirious.

I kept my mouth shut as my dear wife moaned. And though I was tempted to ask what happened to that brave young woman in the Lamaze class who joined all the other young moms-to-be in announcing they would take no pain killers during birth.

No drugs the moms said, raising their hands proudly. Those same proud hands were later used to grab their husband’s neck ties and yank and yank away.

I’m glad I was too smart to mention the “no drugs” bit. She’d have finished the job.

Later in the delivery room Dr. Lorenzini, the good man she called “the Bricklayer” on account of his big hands shouted, “This woman has not been properly anesthetized!!” and they hustled me out of the room before I went psycho and the boys were born.

There were many fine days that I could find up there as Dr. Painless drilled and drilled. And it was painless. Really.

There were those mornings after church when the boys served in the altar, and out on the soccer fields year after year, and the baseball diamonds on that summer night they talked about Barry Bonds’ 73 home runs by steroids and the magic of baseball was forever lost to them.

And she watched them fish with me off Marco Island, at Keewaydin Island, one foot in the warm water of the Gulf, the other in the colder water of the ocean, young hungry snook all around.

I could see her up on the sand shading her eyes, looking at us, smiling. Her smile is the only gift I’d ever want.

And the days when they were hypnotized by fire in the barbecue grill. They’ve always been hypnotized with the turning of the lamb, and they’ve taken that over.

And Betty was always there.

We’re so blessed that she was there. Some families lose their moms early and never recover. She’s been there to take care of all of us.

Is our life perfect?

I don’t know.

But she’s there and when she smiles at me all is well.

It hasn’t been easy on her and the boys with me being ill and I’m sorry for that. It kills me that I’m physically dependent. She wanted me to make sure to mention that her boys were a great help to me when I came from the hospital after the stroke, and now the three of them gang up and nag at me if I try to do too much.

They don’t want the stubborn old man to fall.

“You broke your ribs last year,” they’ll say. Was it last year?

They’re coming over Sunday for Mother’s Day to plant the tomato garden and so I’m certain to get an earful.

I’ll keep my mouth shut and tend the ribs on the smoker.

Is it perfect?

No.

I don’t think it was meant to be perfect. She does get on me when I demand mortadella sandwiches (“that’s all junk and salt you don’t need”).

What about flavor?

And she’s no fan of my latest mini-obsession, getting an English bulldog puppy, the breed which best suits my limited exercise abilities with my cane. A walk with a lazy bulldog I can do, but not a vigorous run.

Betty misses her Zeus, a beautifully bred German Shorthair Pointer, a hunting dog who wanted to run all day.

But running is not on my menu.

Bulldogs “just snore and drool,” she says.

I hope to convince her otherwise.

In the meantime, we have what’s turning out to be (we pray) a glorious summer. One son is now engaged, the other may soon be engaged. The young women in their lives make them happy and make us proud. Betty loves spending time with all of them.

The broken ribs, three of them got in the way of my vegetable gardening last year. This year we hope there will be tomato lettuce and bacon sandwiches on sourdough toast.

And we have two Adirondack chairs set in the shade of the magnificent tulip tree overlooking the garden. They look over where the tomatoes will grow and beyond that the large purple lilac bush is in bloom. I will tell her this story and others just for us.

The boys will be here. That’s all she’s wanted. We waited so long for them, 10 years actually, and now they’re here.

And on Sunday what Betty wants like so many moms–is this:

A kiss from her sons more precious than anything wrapped in a box.

And for them to say this:

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

-30-

About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.

Merchandise Now Available: If you’re looking for a gift for that hard-to-buy for special someone who has everything, just click on the link to the johnkassnews.com store.

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Comments 41

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      Author

  2. Boys, hold your Mom closely and give her a huge hug and a kiss too. You never know when it may be the last time that you will be able to do it.

    1. A great column again John. A special blessing to all the mom’s today, and an appreciation to those in the category of 40+ years sending the message of making raising kids important. Mom’s knew the odds were against you, and woke up and started helping again, and again, and again.

      It was all worth it.

      Mom helped the kids with their thinking when the world / friends / colleges loaded their minds with crap. Some mom’s did this while handling their own disabilities.

      Teaching the kids to ask their own questions was a big deal.

      As husbands we also had our logic checked numerous times. Really you’re gonna …

      The mom’s ability to extend grace and direction is under attack and yet they keep up discerning the important battles and helping kids adjust their plans/priorities.

      It was not just dad loading the BS detector into the next generation of kids, it was tactical mom and she loaded it with kindness and you didn’t even know it was loaded.

      Thanks again John.

  5. Thank you John. One of my favorite columns was after “The Bricklayet” passed away and your tribute to him. Your readers have always known your boys and their loyalty to you and Mrs. Kass. I lost my mom 4 years ago today from the vid. Any real man knows the Mom’s never get any rest ❤️
    Enjoy this beautiful day.

  6. The best marriages are a long distance race, and those of us in that race know its never perfect. In between the “puffy white clouds and blue sky overhead,” are the challenges fate deals us. Trials out of our control. The way we face and endure those challenges define us as partners. It can be blissful, frightening, and exhausting all in the same union. Like long distance runners we encourage each other, help each other when we fall. We honor each other. That’s the miracle.

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  8. OPA TO BETTY FOR LOVING YOU IN SPITE OF YOU,THE KIDS AND A BUNCH OF FRIENDS WHO KNOW WHEN TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP OR GENTLY HUG YOU…..

  10. Beautiful writing John. One of my kids was also born at Hinsdale hospital, thankfully I was not wearing a tie! I am grateful for the glorious sunshine today, my wife deserves it. Our kids will be arriving from the city in a bit and a hug and kiss from them is all she needs to make her day perfect. Enjoy your family!

  11. Happy Mother’s Day Betty! John, we are so blessed to have the women God gave us in our lives, none of whom we deserve, women who love in ways I’ll never be able to comprehend.

  12. Happy Mother’s Day to Betty….. So glad to hear you speak of the personal side of your life John Kass. Your web of this column is, as usual, mighty fine.
    As I was reading it, I felt as if I was feeling all your strokes on that keyboard of life. God bless you John Kass and may God continue to bless all of us with your presence.
    Keep on keeping on.
    Tom

  14. John A great tribute to you Mom. She sounds like the mother found in Proverbs 31

    10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

    11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

    12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

    13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

    14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

    15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

    16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

    17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

    18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

    19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

    20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

    21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

    22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

    23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

    24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

    25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

    26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

    27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

    28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

    29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

    30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

    31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

  15. I always love your columns best when you talk about your family or your special columns at Christmas & Easter. As tough as you like to seem, you’re a softy at heart. Take care John. I love your Podcasts & columns.

  16. Nice column John. Happy Mothers Day to your Betty and all the moms in our lives.

    Life isn’t perfect. But somewhere I read to never let perfect get in the way of good. And life is good.

    Thank you God.

  17. A loving column today. Happy Mother’s Day to Betty and all of the Moms.
    And a special memory with love and gratitude for those of us who have
    Moms in heaven, who still watch over us every day in heaven.

  18. Great column! I am blessed to have a wonderful wife, as you are. Mine also has care for me after MY heart attack and by pass surgery. Happy Mother’s Day blessings to Betty, and ALL. As my Pastor always said, “Not all women are mothers, but all of us had a mother.”

  19. Yianni,
    We both are truly blessed to have married such strong and wonderful women, who turned out to be such caring and loving Moms, and wives. At our age now, thank God they are able to look after us “old farts” as we require a bit more care due to various health issues that have plagued us of late. Of course my late Dad always advised me to marry a girl, “half your age plus seven,” so she’ll be young enough to look after you when you’re old! (I didn’t listen however!) My Mom, God rest her soul, was 13 years Dad’s junior, and did in fact look after Dad until his 90th year, when he departed this life. Happy Mother’s Day to Betty as we all wish to thank her for her constant vigilance over you, so that we may enjoy your prose awhile longer! And you just wait til those sons make you Pappou and Yiayia! You have no idea the blessings grandchildren will bring. We have 5, and I’m very fortunate, as our daughter had a “surprise” baby boy, and yes, his name is Leo (like the new Pope) after Pappou!!!! Thank you Betty for looking after our Yianni, enjoy your special day!

  20. Only a great husband would wear a tie to give his wife something to “yank” on to distract her from the pain. Very thoughtful.

    Hope you and Betty have a great day with your family.
    Bob.

  22. Happy Mother’s Day, Betty Kass! Thank you for being a task master with one of the best friends I never met personally! He’d the best. He’s the conscience of a once proud city! Enjoy your day with the twins. 🌷

  23. John, what a beautiful tribute to Betty. And today sounds like the perfect Midwestern day…family and 🍅 tomato planting. Wonder what varieties you’re planting. My favorites were German Johnson, Brandywine, Better Boy and Garden Peach. Enjoy!

  24. A lovely column. Reminds us of what we have and in some cases who has gone before us. My mom came over “onna da boat” one of nine, she cared for her sibs and then she took care of my dad and I long outliving his issue with cigarettes. I miss her wisdom and example of being a conciliator. A bit of that fortunately rubbed off. Life is not perfect with lollipops and roses, but good. I thank God every morning for the sunshine and ask to do something good for someone today (for many years it was on the other end of that whine you described today, taking care of kids). Mom was compassionate and warm unless I was going the wrong way and my middle name would echo when she called. Also “if you can’t say something nice say nothing at all”.
    Bless Betty and all the wives and moms out there. I’ve got a keeper too. Bless her for putting up with me. The strength of a good woman cannot be overlooked this or any other day.

  25. It’s a good day. I’m looking across the table at a good mother. And my thanks to the then two young ladies that made the tough decisions to do what was best for their newborns. They came into a loving home and made us a family.

  26. Great column honoring your beautiful Betty.
    Is life perfect? I think it’s not meant to be. But I’ve always said if the good out weighs the bad then life is not only good, you’re blessed.

  28. Hope you are all enjoying a great, moderately temperatured Mothers Day in sunny Northwest Indiana. Here in also sunny Texas we hit the eighties about a month ago and we are now waiting for hurricane season! My niece who lives in Florida visited us recently and said something we agreed with: SHE WOULD NEVER MOVE BACK TO ILLINOIS. Her state has the next best republican governor other than Gregg Abbott, Ron DiSantis. Local governance has its place and you don’t realize it until you leave. Those that remain always say the same thing..” it’s the same thing everywhere..”. I’m sure as you sit in your growing garden, sunny pastoral skies above, peace and tranquility , you heartily disagree. Just like we do. There’s a place not too far from you in Hammond named Tzatziki that does good greek food that I highly recommend if you don’t feel like firing up the grill or it rains over there. Take the wife and your boys. It’s worth the drive. Best wishes and Happy Mothers Day to you and Betty!

  30. So many people think this is a day to thank our moms and our wives and our daughters who are moms. AND IT IS. And it’s important. But even more important is that it is a day to give thanks to God for them. And not just today.

    Your tribute was wonderful. Happy Mother’s Day to your wife and all the mothers who read your columns.

  31. Mr. Kass- Excellent writing as always, you continue to make your Greek ancestors proud.

    My little Italian Mother passed away about 18 months ago, two months before her 98th birthday. I think about her every day, and tell stories about her regularly. She raised 8 kids and helped raise our two cousins, she was a truly remarkable woman. I have always believed that one of the very few words in the English language that should ALWAYS be capitalized is “Mother”. It is a sacred word for very special people.

    Happy Mother’s Day to your lovely Sicilian wife, and please continue your recovery. Listen to her on what not to eat and you’ll get better sooner.

  32. It is such a joy to read your tribute to your lovely wife, mother of your two wonderful (and handsome!) sons. Wish her the best – many of us have been part of her ‘fan club’ for years.

    I offer my thoughts on the privilege of being a mother:
    Having a baby does not complete the job of being a mother. That is only the start. What follows that birthing day is a what makes you a mother, and that job never really ends. The responsibilities change, the opportunities evolve but the heart of a mother never truly rests. We take credit for some things, blame for others; we delight in their successes and anguish over their woes. Some joys are fleeting and others stay in your heart and are part of you every day. Celebrating with your child and seeing them parent their children is one of God’s good gifts to be thankful for. There are so many things to teach, so much wisdom to try to impart, so much hope for their future, all wrapped up in the joy of sitting in church with your adult children, knowing that they’ve been led to the feet of the Savior and they know whose they really are. With Joshua’s words ringing true: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I praise a Living, Loving God for helping me do that…..and for allowing me the privilege of being a mother.

  35. John, from central Illinois Flyover Land, Again nice article and reminder that your a rich man with family history with compounding interest of dreams that keep growing.
    My first year visiting my mother in the memory care unit at the nursing home. She here but slowly leaving.

  36. What a beautiful tribute to Betty & your family. You can tell it came from your heart & not from the drugs the dentist provided! Happy Mother’s Day to Betty.

  37. What a beautiful tribute to Betty & your family. You can tell it came from your heart & not from the drugs the dentist provided! Happy Mother’s Day to Betty.

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