Chicago’s Desperate Mayor: el Brandito

By John Kass

December 18, 2024

As Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson’s approval ratings continue to drop—he’s now at 14 percent but he still has more room to keep on falling—the nicknames began to trickle out along with the mockery.

It started with Mayor Panic Attacks, because I’m told the man is debilitated by crushing panic attacks that I’ve been writing about for months. This illustrates that governing a big city isn’t only about issuing left-wing slogans to satisfy his white neo-Marxist base and among Chicago’s left-wing media. I mean, how many newsroom votes are out there? Enough to keep him in power?

No.

The red ink of budgets drowning in debt is not soothed by slogans.

My new favorite nickname for Johnson is Black Lenin, on account of his knee-jerk and thoughtless Marxism. He rather resembles Lenin, doesn’t he? With that beard and the mad gleam in the eye.

Common sense Chicago Ald. Raymond Lopez, 15th Ward, has a new nickname for the mayor one that just might be as good as Black Lenin:

“el Brandito”

If you had a little yap dog named Brandon, all bark and no bite, and he barked all the time and everyone on your block stopped paying attention to him, what would you call the diminutive, fearful pooch as he does his business in the parkway with that sheepish expression on his face?

el Brandito.

Lopez joined WGN producer Jeff Carlin (@JPCarlin ) and me on our podcast The Chicago Way. It was posted this week and the podcast was distributed free as always to subscribers of johnkassnews.com. I include the link here, and hope you listen.

“We see the headlines, ” Ald. Lopez said. “Its’s mayor blows this deadline, mayor’s budget, this is this one. I don’t even think it’s tap dancing. He’s doing full on ballroom dancing. Because you’re right. It’s, it’s, you know, everyone has always had a small regard for Chicago politicians, myself included. And we’ve done a lot of that stuff. Sometimes we become caricatures of ourselves. But Brandon Johnson is taking it to a new height. And if there’s a pile of dog crap somewhere on the sidewalk, he’s gonna walk into it. Top with both feet. He does that every single day.”

Indeed. And all the headlines cry that he’s jumped into it with both feet, hence his 14 percent approval rating. And it gets worse.

Johnson, a Democrat loyalist who loathes Republican President-elect Donald Trump has spent more than $500 million of Chicago’s money on the Democrat Party’s illegal migrants in Chicago. More than 50,000 of them are in the city now, having been invited by President Joseph Biden to rush the Southern border, seek asylum, get on welfare subsidized by American taxpayers. In Chicago, the migrants crowded out residents in their own neighborhood schools and parks. You must have seen angry Chicagoans berating Johnson. They’re growing angrier by the day. Black Chicagoans, white Chicagoans, Latin Chicagoans. All of them condemning Mayor Johnson at City Council meetings for spending all those millions on the illegals while Chicago taxpayers are short-changed.

The people who voted for him loathe him now. The other mayoral candidate, former Chicago Public Schools CEO Paul Vallas was slimed by leftist media and Democrats as being too white, and not woke enough. He already gave at the office.

Now the leftists who condemned Vallas are left to eat themselves or the city. And Johnson?

He’s an embarrassment.

“You guys threw us to the wolves,” said a Latin woman from my old Gage Park neighborhood. She was speaking at a recent City Council meeting.  “Us taxpayers were left behind.”

Yes you were.

Tom Homan, Trump’s border czar who will actually do his job, says this. “Chicago’s in trouble because your mayor sucks and your governor sucks”

Is this true? Of course it is. Both Mayor Johnson and Gov. J.B. Pritzker, aka “Commodius Maximus” are terrible administrators. Johnson relies on his Marxist slogans and Pritzker, well he inherited billions of dollars and thinks he ended up on third base after hitting a triple. In your dreams fat boy. Have another box of Oreos.

Each has relied on Biden printing and spending inflationary trillions of dollars on COVID 19 to help bail out Illinois and Chicago from the fiscal hole. And now the money runs out, while the voters are left to remember the Democrats who were part of Biden’s “rush the border” politics.

You’d think perhaps Johnson, or his political patronesses Boss Toni Preckwinkle or my Indiana neighbor, Chicago Teacher’s Union Boss Stacy Davis Gates would have remembered the legend of Chicago Mayor Zorro.

Zorro was Barack Obama’s former chief of staff. He was known to Chicago as Mayor Rahm Emanuel.

Rahm became Mayor Zorro after he squashed a Chicago police video showing a frightened white Chicago cop shooting and killing a drug addled Laquan McDonald with 16 shots. After it became clear to black voters, even Barack Obama couldn’t help him. He tried to reinvent himself by offering city identification cards to Latino migrants. He became Mayor Zorro.

Zorro, a swashbuckling champion of the oppressed in Hollywood films, cut a dashing figure. Dressed all in black, with supple black leather boots and a black mask and spirited black horse, Zorro uses his sword to defend the poor and oppressed against evil politicians. He was possessed of  a haughty mien (i.e. an arrogant face) and was well-played by Tyrone Power, who defeated the haughty mien of Basil Rathbone, with one lunge deep into the belly. It was a theatrical death.

Sometimes Zorro cut a “Z” into the chests of the oppressors and makes wisecracks.

That was when movies were movies. In politics, Rahm came out with his Mayor Zorro City IDs that inflamed the anger of black voters. And now Rahm is back lecturing Democrats on how to find their way in the political wilderness where Obama and Biden l0st them.

If Johnson had paid attention back then as he sat at the feet of Boss Preckwinkle and the CTU’s Stacy Davis Gates, he would have seen black voters angry at Mayor Zorro’s stupid city id plan.

Chicago is a city with a big heart. But one thing. Don’t play them for chumbolones, idiots, fools, bozos. That they won’t forgive. They won’t play the chumbolone for anyone. Not for Johnson, not for Obama.

Ald. Lopez now sees Johnson shrinking. The job is too much for him. Lopez wonders if Johnson will even finish out his term. I think about it too. Ray might take him on. Perhaps others. There are about 800 days to go, long enough for a fool and his Marxist followers to break the city, or what’s left of it, to pieces.

Some white hope Democrats are pushing themselves forward, like the White Shadow, Arne Duncan and Bill Conway an undistinguished Northwest Side alderman who ran for Cook County State’s Attorney and made certain Jussie’s girl Kim Foxx would be re-elected. Because of Conway and his rich daddy, Foxx was given another four years. Duncan or Conway would be ridiculous.

“Johnson keeps stating that he’s gonna be here longer than Richard M Daley,” Lopez said. “I don’t know how the track record is looking right now.”

The thing about Mayor Richard M. Daley and his father, Mayor Richard J. Daley. They worked. They loved their city. They cared for middle class taxpayers. The Democrat Party was built on that. Now, Johnson is planning to build “affordable housing” downtown, at an estimated cost to taxpayers of $700,000. What does that tell you?

It tells me that the city is sinking, thanks to racist fools like Mayor Black Lenin, like Mayor el Brandito.

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About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.

Merchandise Now Available: If you’re looking for that Christmas or holiday gift for that hard-to-buy for special someone who has everything, just click on the link to the johnkassnews.com store.

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Because I know this about you: You’re not a Chumbolone.

Comments 45

      1. Nah, he reminds me of Ed Grimley (Martin Short, SCTV/SNL).

        Plus, now I gotta go listen to the old Harry Nilsson album “The Point”.
        Or the old Jefferson Airplane album “Bless Its Pointed Little Head”…

    2. John, I don’t want to be picky, but I was hoping you would mention his most recent “brilliant economic plan.”
      That, of course, is taking out a “high interest, short term loan” to fill the budget gap for next year. What brilliant economic minds he must have on his staff! Who wouldn’t understand the beauty of trying to pay off credit card debt by opening another “higher interest” card to pay off the first card!!!! BRILLIANT!!!

    4. We’ve been told his “tonsorial” bill (including the magic hair-do) is costing his campaign $8,000 a year. He says he must always look his best as a black man representing the city. I wonder if he realizes that the pointy-head look is not his best choice…..

  3. Disagree that Chicagoans won’t be played as chumbalones. They always are. They had a chance to prove otherwise when Vallas ran. Even knowing exactly what Johnson was, that is, a union puppet to the left of the detested Lightfoot, they voted for him anyway. And Obama? Just look at that ridiculous eyesore being built on the peoples’ precious park land.
    No, Chicagoans are constantly being played as chumbalones.

    1. Spot on. If Chicagoans aren’t willing chumbolones, why do we support our nationally-embarrassing sports teams? They have collectively won 12 national titles since the ’85 Bears. If that’s “world-class city” material, the world has a problem. Nope. We’re definitely chumbolones.

    1. It’s the Chicago way. There is no way to recall the Mayor of Chicago. I thought I read that there is a petition being floated around to gain enough signatures to get a recall motion on the ballot by May of ‘25, but as of now, there is no legal way to get him out.
      If the people of Chicago actually went out and voted during the runoff, this wouldn’t have happened. Only 30% of registered voters showed up, the majority of those were CTU members. This is why Chicago is stuck with Mayor Numbnuts.

  5. And now with an approved budget he’s feeling powerful again. How could any of them approve a budget with a line item of $432,000 for a vice mayor.

    The vice mayor is an ornamental job. No other vice mayor has needed or gotten this but Johnson’s has to have it.

    Bullshit!

  6. El Brandito and Zorro. That’s all I needed to read of this column to make my day!

    Chicagoans never learn. El Brandito may have a crappy approval rating, but Chicagoans will vote for another empty-promises mayor. It’s in their DNA.

  7. John…..the political timing is right for another run for your friend Paul Vallas….please encourage him. He could be Chicagos version of Donald Trump.

  8. Nice, JK! Or you could try Mayor Munchkin. Or The CTU’s Errand Boy.

    That look on his expensively-groomed face when Chicago’s Black taxpayers are shouting the truth at him — haven’t we seen that Chicago executive look before? The frozen fear, the “What do I do now?” mug.

    Oh, right. It’s Reinsdorf after 121 losses or McCaskey after swallowing the severance pay for one more coach who’s no good at football.

  9. I saw six drones last off Greenwood Beach in Evanston last night. They’re here. Maybe EL Brandito can assign each Vice Mayor his or her own set of drones to take on.

    Otherwise that could be it for him. But like Alderman Lopez says, no one wants a Mayor to fail.
    800 days, and counting – he also said -)

  10. I agree with you, John. But, like Brandon Biden, they are only figureheads. The real troublemakers, the real problem people are first and foremost the evil Toni Preckwinkle, who continues to be on the downlow, stays in the background and is never acknowledged as the epitome of Trouble. Then you have a useless governor. Then you have all the kiss ass suck ups who follow them. Then and only then you have the figurehead puppet Johnsons and finally the fools who vote him in.

    The real troublemakers are primarily Toni and then JB. Someday, maybe they’ll be held accountable. For now that seems to be nothing but a pipe dream.

  11. Your article is right in the money.

    Except with Trump in office, the city’s money spigot is turned off. With no money to support these leftist policies, the city collapses.

    These next four years will not be kind to Chicago or Illinois for that matter.

  12. Γιάννη,
    That’s what happens when you vote based on skin color, rather than ability, talent, or experience. You all voted for another empty suit! Chicago and Illinois are doomed to continue the slide into s–thole city/state status just like SanFran, LA, NYC, and other socialist run cities and states. Θεός φυλαξη!!!

  13. Great article as always John! Lest not forget 35% turnout during the election. I’m sorry, the citizens got what they didn’t turn out for. El Brandito isn’t playing the people for idiots, they didn’t help their own cause.

  14. Conway a nice fellow. Has good credentials. But, his true colors showed when he attacked that small group of pro-life protestors in his ward. He was screaming at them. Then, he whipped out his “badge”.

    Small he is. Too small to be mayor.

  15. “Brandito” rhymes with “Bandito” aka THIEF. How very appropriate. Ray Lopez was on fire the other day. He, and his coalition now have the numbers to rein in the mayor’s edicts from city hall. Rahm Emanuel is going to make his political comeback in Chicago now that he is finished hustling money in Japan for his family’s (now worth) billion dollar business. Barack learned it from a master of the form. Chicago media, assisting El Branditos agenda is obviously not asking the very pertinent and obvious question about the forty million “deferred ” payment that the city will kick down the road to pass his budget. HOW MUCH INTEREST WILL THIS COST THE TAXPAYERS? Maybe Ray can ask Brandito…

  16. Mr JK. John you have to admit Johnson is good entertainment. He chastises female reporters, a reporter referred to his wife by her first name and he went off demanding she be referred to as the “First Lady.” He did not mention the office that she has was remolded for just under 100 thousand, when we have no spare fire department trucks or engines.

    Then we find out Kim Fox has a suspended law license .

    Fantasy has become reality in Chicago, in our lifetime.

  17. CTU “errand boy”. Perfect. CTU (SDG) is running this clown show. Half full 8 crayon box, and several more “solutions” are no longer there thanks to the election of.DJT and the spigot of DC $$$ to bail him are gone.

  18. So why the heck did the voters put this joker in office? They had a chance to ditch him with Vallas – but they did not. If this pathetic excuse for a mayor had any conscience, he would quit. He is a clown with nothing between his ears except liberal socialistic BS.

  20. We can all rant and rave about Brandon Johnson but he simply does not care. He won’t resign. He won’t acknowledge his shortcomings. He won’t listen to the public. We need to understand this and simply vote him out of office. Godspeed to us.

  24. El Brandito has a nice ring, but doesn’t fit. Yappy little dogs can do minor damage to you with their tiny teeth, but Mayor Pinhead can do major damage just by the power of his office.

  25. My great curiosity about the Tribune’s distaste for him has been answered. Because, though he is right that to stop poverty you have to do it upstream and on the ground level, he hasn’t done anything. I honestly think he was surprised he was going to win.

    As far as the Laquan McDonald shooting, you might want to ask around if it is a coincidence or not that McDonald was killed a block from Ed Burke’s Burger King, which he pressured for strange reasons. Emanuel coverup?

  28. Thank you John Kass for this loaded for bear column. 14%, are you sure it is not a tad lower? Really don’t need the answer, but wow….el Brandito…Alderman Lopez, thank you ever so much for this name tag.
    The sinking of Chicago is going right along and on target….U-Haul is making bundles and more happy business’ and people are seeing shades of a new border, just across the Illinois borders….
    God bless you John Kass. May you and yours have a wonderful Merry Christmas.
    Tom

  29. Sorry to nitpick…but did you mean to write about Pritzker, “He was born on third base thinking he hit a triple?” Instead, your column shows, “he inherited billions of dollars and thinks he ended up on third base after hitting a triple.”
    Just asking.

  32. Chicago had a total of 1,581,564 registered voters. Only 612,514 showed up to vote for the run-off election. Of those who did vote, Brandon got 319,481. So, about 20% of the people registered to vote in the City actually chose Pointy. Be sure to tell them “thank you”, if you can find any of them.

  33. Chicagoans are getting exactly what they voted for, good and hard. 35% turnout for the first round and runoff. They had their chance to course-correct with Vallas but chose to vote for race/union affiliation.
    The rest of the country is laughing.
    I disagree that Chicagoans don’t like to be played as chumbolones, they don’t like to be played as chumbolones TO THEIR FACES as El Brandíto is wont to do so publicly.
    If you are tired of it, the only vote you have is with your own two feet- like you have done, John.

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