Blessed Anniversary with the Lovely Sicilian: It’s Good to be Married

By John Kass

May 26th,2024

He was a butcher who wanted to become a writer. He had butcher shop sawdust on his boots from cutting boxes of chickens in his family’s South Side market shop as he walked into a summer school class at Columbia College:

The Psychology of Consciousness, a bullshit summer class for a bullshit A.

He hadn’t yet decided what he’d do, though he didn’t want to spend his life chopping and cutting meat. Perhaps he’d be a newspaperman, writing restaurant reviews and politics and maybe prizefighting. There was so much out there. But he had no idea how to reach those goals. He was a kid. His dreams were all over the place. By contrast she was focused, serious, a beautiful modern dancer, long and lean, dreaming only of one thing: the bright lights of the stage.

They met decades ago, in that ridiculous waste of time of a class, more than 40 years ago, lifetimes ago, when they were young.

It was then when he put away the things of a child. It was then when he finally grew up. It was that young woman.

She had black hair, jet black eyes, a true Sicilian beauty, just finished with a dance rehearsal so her skin was flushed. And when she looked at him, staring right through him, and then he was gone. The class instructor had them put their desks in a circle, then turned out the light. He told them to meditate and close their eyes.

He didn’t close his eyes. She did not like that at all. He didn’t want to be rude. He just couldn’t help himself.

Some 15 minutes later the instructor turned on the lights and asked the class to share their mediation experiences. The first student said he “felt so close” to everyone in the room. It got worse.

They began gushing out their feelings of their pretend closeness. And just like that they were one with the room.

“I felt everyone’s consciousness,” said the second student.

“I felt the spirit of everybody in our circle,” said another. “I could feel your aura.”

It went on like that for a time. Each student feeling a oneness, a closeness. He kept staring at the Lovely Sicilian Beauty. Finally it was her turn to speak.

“I don’t feel close to anybody,” she said. “It’s ridiculous to think you’re close to me. I don’t know you. You don’t know me.”

The others were stunned. The young woman had broken their collectivist fantasy bubble.

And just then he knew: She was the girl for him. He would marry the Lovely Sicilian. She had backbone and beauty. She had the brains and the spirit. He realized then that he’d marry her if she’d take him. But first he had to talk to her.

The instructor stopped the group gushing out their feelings of pretend closeness, and ask them to put their desks into small groups. She was in a small group on the far other side of the room. So he picked up his desk and carried it all the way over there, introduced himself and asked her name.

“Castella” she said.

“You’re Italian?”

“No,” she said, eyes flashing, her eyebrows popping up straight up in an old country ‘no.’

“I’m not Italian,” she said. “I’m Sicilian.”

My heart flipped and flopped like a fish. After class I asked if I could walk her to the ‘el’ and paid a fare just so I could stand next to her as the A train rushed by. I asked her to breakfast the next morning. The big song on the radio then–yes we listened t0 the radio for music and we read newspapers–was Phil Collins’ “Hold On.”

And that’s what I did.

I held on.

“I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh, lordAnd I’ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh, lordCan you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh, lord, oh, lord.”

Immediately I was focused, determined to get a job at a big paper and make a real living. But that’s a story for another day, if you’re interested. This is our story of our anniversary. We got married at St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church over the 1986 Memorial Day weekend.

She was a beautiful bride. I was the nervous groom. Just look at the photo.

Years later we had the twins. And there was a perfect day when I skipped work and we all went to Lincoln Park. It was a sunny autumn afternoon. We floated the lagoon on paddleboats and fed potato chips to the ducks. I took a dad photo on the most perfect day of our lives. The boys toothless. She was beautiful then, and she’s beautiful now. I’m so blessed to have her love.

We’ve been together more than 40 years now. She was there through it all, strong by my side through the open heart surgery, the heart attack, the stroke, and that gallbladder thing. It’s a journey. I’m there for her. She’s there for me. We’re married.

We love working together at johnkassnews.com , debating stories, photo choices, and driving to Chicago to visit our favorite bistros.

If you meet a young woman don’t focus on beauty, focus on character, backbone and spirit. And if you’re lucky enough to stand with her and give your oath to God, I hope you too will be as blessed.

After all these years, I think she’ll keep me.

It’s good to be married.

 

-30-

About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.

Comments 85

  8. Happy Anniversary! Last year was my 20th with my Sicilian bride. Best thing that ever happened to me! Even though I am an extreme introvert (you know you can’t get away with that with a Sicilian wife and in-laws) and intermittently throw childish fits about having to attend family events with the loudest human beings on the face of the earth – the sauce and food alone are worth it…Congratulations to you!

  15. Happy anniversary Mr and Mrs Kass. John I had to have a practice marriage before I found my lady that sported character, backbone and spirit. Not proud of that. But things work out for a reason.
    Hope you all have many more ahead of you.

  19. Great column, thanks for sharing and reminding us all what true love can be for someone. Having the pleasure to have met your family it’s easy to see why you have made it through the bumps of life. 100 more good years, here’s to a Bull Shit class being the best decision you made Mr. Kass.🙏

  28. Happy anniversary! What a blessing when God gives wonderful women to us flawed men who were made from the dust of the Earth! God’s continued blessings to you and yours!

  31. I lost my beautiful Sicilian bride of 55 years this past week. The feeling of loneliness is intense. Cherish your bride and hold her close.

  33. Happy Anniversary! It’s the greatest gift to find the one who brightens your world and takes the vows of in sickness and in health seriously. You both are lucky to have each other. Though, might I add, you are really lucky, John. Betty is gorgeous!!

  34. Wonderful story, thanks for sharing. I’d love to hear Castella‘s side of the story. Was it mutual feelings at first or did you have to “win her over.”

    So glad you’re doing well and still writing columns.

  35. For better or for worse thru sickness and health. Congratulations to a lovely couple. Betty was a stunner then as now. You are one lucky guy on so many fronts. Solid values, traditional marriage are what really make the world go round. Many more years together.

  38. John, happy anniversary to you and Betty. You two were created for each other.
    I think you won her over when you paid the L fare 😜

    Seriously though, you paid the ultimate compliment to her when you said, “ She had backbone and beauty. She had the brains and the spirit.” And I’m sure she still has it all. The beauty is obvious to all of us, the rest isn’t.

    Congrats, hoping for many more !

  41. Happy Anniversary John. Your one hundred percent correct our wife is our strength with much happiness and joy always getting us through the tough times as well. I to am blessed to also being married for 60 happy anniversaries. Blessed beyond words.

  42. Dude – you have obviously outkicked your coverage in a BIG way. LOL – congrats on your anniversary. Like you I outkicked my coverage 25 years ago this July. We’ll be cruising from Spain to Italy to France to really get back with our people. Wait – I’m Irish and she’s German – so maybe not but it’ll be a good freaking time!! Here’s to marriage!! It is GREAT to be married! I love it and her SO much!

  44. Happy Anniversary, you two! This is such a great Chicago story of thirty some years ago, not today’s Chicago. But we know that. I also married an Italian beauty with backbone and a name from another era – Grace. John, we hit the marriage lotto. May I be so bold as to suggest a great Greek joint to celebrate – Psistaria Greek Tavern in Lincolnwood? If you’ve never been it’s awesome. Try the eggplant appetizer! Warmest regards from Jim and Grace! 🥂

  46. john, who knew we had so much in common, southside of chicago boys, a greek and a serbian finding our perfect sicilian and lithuanian partners for life and marrying on the same weekend in 1986…cindy and i married on the memorial day monday with a thousand of our family and friends at the lexington house ( i had to go to springfield the next morning to work on the state budget as the state rep from the 35th district),,,thirty eight years later, each of us with two sons are so fortunate to have our somewhat health and our beautiful wives next to us…cindy can never forget the kindness you sent on the death her brother years ago… in closing, to you and betty, euyxapntnpia in greek and zivio in serbian, congratulations/good luck…sam & cindy panayotovicn

  47. Heartiest congratulations to you and your bride, John. It’s wonderful to be married, I have been with my wife Alice for 56 years and will be married 55 years on September 6th. We celebrate two anniversaries every year, the first one is April 26, 1968, the day that she walked into my life, the day I was smitten. The second anniversary is the day of our wedding, September 6, 1969. As you know, it isn’t always easy but if you love someone, the love grows stronger every day. It goes by too quickly so cherish her each and every day, and thank God that you have her. Again, congratulations on 38 years and counting, I know that you realize that you’re a lucky man.

  49. Happy Anniversary!!!! Great story, Wonderful pix. Great marriage – my wife Barb and I will be married 56 years this August 23rd. I’m lucky as you are. Blessings to you and Betty!!

  50. Handsome, kitted out, pledging enduring lifetime love with his beautiful, glowing Bride.
    An affection steeped by the scores, assuredly favored by our Lord.
    Beseeching He Who Is, to bless John and Castella continued health and happiness.

  54. For JK and Betty: buon anniversario e tanti auguri!!

    Loved the article. May you have many more happy years together.

    Ciao e abbracci, Speez

  55. Beautiful story John. Happy Anniversary to both of you! I hope you have many more years together.

    My husband and I just celebrated 50 years together.

  57. Wishing a most Happy Anniversary to you and Betty! May God bless you with many more!

    (I was just listening to “Hold On” last week–one of my favorites of the time.)

    As we say in Polish, “Sto Lat” (may you have 100 years)! 🎉

  61. Congratulations John. Happy anniversary. You and your wife have definitely had a lot of moving parts over the years. Continue with your great writing and stay well.

  62. Wonderful story John. Happy anniversary. We are 57 years and going strong. Doesn’t happen so much any more. God bless you and the lovely Sicilian. May you have many more years together.

  63. Thanks for sharing that lovely remembrance John. You are blessed to have each other. This Friday, my wife and I will celebrate our 65th anniversary. We met on Oak Street Beach in 1958.

  64. Happy Anniversary Mr and Mrs Kass. John your very rich man with your lovely bride, 2 great kids, and brother Nicholas, oh and fancy Indiana home too!
    Thank you for your career choice. You explain how the big city operates to a country mouse like myself in Flyover down state Illinois. We both have the same
    State Rat problems to deal with.
    Thank you!

  66. John,

    Anna and I also got married over the 1986 Memorial Day Weekend in Crown Point, Indiana, celebrating 38 wonderful years of bliss.
    Glad you are now a “Hoosier” resident, living only a few miles from us.
    God Bless you and your family-always!

    Joe and Anna

  67. Happy Anniversary to both of you today and for many years to come! My husband and I are just 2 years behind you! God bless you and your family for the many gifts that you share with us!

  69. Congrats John! True love is a rare thing indeed – I’m coming up on anniversary # 35 this July – my life has never been better.
    BTW…”Hold On” was from a 1999 Disney movie and your story behind the lyrics stemmed from Phil’s first big hit “In the Air Tonight” (1981).

  73. Congratulations! George and I are now at 52 years- and yes it’s good to be married with children and now grandchildren. Thank you for your amazing column and perseverance. And thank you and your lovely wife for your courage. Courage is a virtue that must be practiced because cowardice is our usual decision. Bless you.

  74. John: Perhaps the smartest move you ever made was when you picked up that desk and moved to the other side of that Bull -S classroom over 40 years ago – Conratulations to you both, from the Big Noise from Winnetka!

  76. Great (column) as usual, but as you’re a man of detail, what grade did you get in the BS course? I know your bride got an A. Congratulations.

  77. John, I asked my wife Jeanette to read this. She’s not Greek either–German birth in fact, but in so many ways like your Sicilian. I was christened and married in St. Nicholas too-but that lasted just 3 years, and later remarried in St. Sophia G. O. church in Ithaca NY–we are talking 52 years. I am 82 now with health issues and need her help getting in and out of the shower. She saved my life in so many ways. You have spoken lots of truth but nothing as profound as “it’s good to be married”
    Thank you, John.

  78. God Bless, Good Health and Continued Joy to both of you.
    After 53 years of marriage, I can assure you that the best is yet to come.
    Keep on going!
    JLH

  79. Happy anniversary, John! What a wonderful column. My wife and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary next month, and I know I’ll be thinking of your column when that day arrives.

  83. Happy Anniversary John and Betty. When you marry the woman that you love and respect you have it all. My wife and I would have been married 49 years but she joined our Lord in heaven in 2009. I miss her every day.

    Again, congratulations and cherish every day you have together.

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