By John Kass
July 1, 2022
Desperate candidates for the Golden Moutza of the Month are crawling over each other as if they’re mindless demons in a Hieronymus Bosch painting. And now they’re breaking out of hell and crawling over the rest of us.
But we’re not in a painting. This is our life.
Greece itself apparently (sadly) threatens to ban the Moutza, our only weapon against the Idiocracy and Bidenopolis. There are so many worthy idiots now that they swarm us like movie zombies in “World War Z.”
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot could win the award every month with her brutally foul and vulgar mouth, (e.g., her “F- Clarence Thomas” comment, as the people of her city succumb to violent crime she can’t or won’t control.
“You could run two months of Moutzes every day summing up on why she should fly away on a broom,” says Jean Griffard.
But Lori is not flying away. She seeks votes, as a demagogue of the left, by attacking a Supreme Court Justice to distract from her mountain of failures.
And the once moderately conservative newspaper where I worked for decades now focuses its light on racist trees. This even as people are slaughtered in the crime wave and the paper endorses Boss Toni Preckwinkle and Lightfoot is overwhelmed:
“a Tribune investigation found the city has planted more trees in wealthier, whiter areas”
Racist trees? Seriously? What the hell happened to you?
There are many worthies now, the idiots are swarming us like those movie zombies in “World War Z.” And some of you have been overwhelmed by their shrieking.
“Too many possible recipients out there this month!” says Dianne Roupas Pitsoulakis.
No Dianne. Cowboy up! Deal with it. Praise the Lord and pass the Moutza.
“Too many to list, Nah!” says the chef known as “Hi Claudette” on Facebook.
No Claudette. Don’t give up! Grow a spine!
The marionettisti of the inflationary senile presidential meat puppet known as Joe are also desperate to win the Golden Moutza.
Their inflationary policies have driven the cost of an Independence Day cookout up 40 percent from last year and skyrocketing gas prices are too high to drive to grandma’s house.
“So many worthy candidates it’s almost impossible to pick just one,” said Lou Berardi. “I know the current POTUS is exempt from receiving the Golden Moutza, but I want to nominate his handlers who have to orchestrate his every move at public appearances by handing him a cheat sheet like this one.
Hey, you anonymous handlers – this hand is for you NAH!”
Because I play no favorites here, perhaps the most desperate seeker of the Golden Moutza is the government of Greece itself.
My Hellenic ancestors created this noble hand gesture of contempt for fools and jackasses. But now the Greek government is reportedly attempting to quash the Moutza with heavy fines and license revocations.
“John Kass, our own patritha cannot remove this sacred gesture of our ancestors!” warned reader Larry Sakellaris.
Say it ain’t so, Larry. Has Pierre Trudeau taken over Greece without a shot? Oh, the shame, the shame. Has the birthplace of heroes like Leonidas of Sparta become a Land of Lotus-Eating Betas?
What’s next, will Greece install cancel-culture communists to run the nation into the ground? Haven’t they done that once before?
Reader Jeff Salmon nominates himself for the Golden Moutza.
“Me—I foolishly tried to jump over a fence at the Dead show Friday,” Salmon wrote, “and now I have a huge shin hematoma to show for it.”
Bravo, Jeff! Nah.
“Gonna go against the current trend of politicians,” says Tony Paul. “I nominate weathermen who act overly giddy and assume that everyone loves 95-degree weather. Nah!”
You know who really hates hot weather in Chicago? Cops and Fire Department Paramedics who have to pick up the bodies shot in the gang wars, while “the paper” concerns itself with racist trees. And every ER doc and nurse in town.
John Ekonomou learned the Moutza arts growing up in a Greek household on the Southwest Side. His family were next door neighbors of the future actor John C. Reilly, and his brother. John’s mother couldn’t remember their names, so she called the Reilly boys “Hamburgeh and Hat-Dog.” (Hamburger and Hot-Dog).
Ekonomou targets Vice President Kamala Harris for wanting parents of young men to pressure pregnant young women into abortion.
To CNN, Harris said: “When we think about it, everyone has something at risk on this,” Harris said. “First of all, if you are a parent of sons, do think about what this means for the life of your son and what that will mean in terms of the choices he will have.”
“In other words, if your son or sons find themselves in a pregnancy situation as a result of THEIR OWN actions, it will be harder to have the baby KILLED to ERASE responsibility and DISPOSE of an obstacle to their continued irresponsibility,” he writes. “This (Kamala Harris) statement deserves a double Moutza, with defiance. NAH Kamala Harris!!NAH.”
Some are disgusted by the vulgarity of pro-abortion protesters.
“To every pro-abortionist who parades around, with fake blood dripping from their pants, vulgar signs laced with profanity, and other revolting displays, you need to have some class,” says Thomas Avallone. “Protest all you want, but don’t be so vile. Nah!”
Chicago Fire F.C. fan Danny Carlino one of a small handful of pro-life soccer fans, takes issue with the Fire making statements in opposition to the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v Wade.
“How could sports team possibly even concern itself with such issues, let alone one that hasn’t won jack (skata) in 16 years is beyond my comprehension. The sooner this team folds the better.”
But the Fire won the game.
There were so many candidates, like those zombies.
And the great Chicago law firm Kirkland &Ellis telling lawyers to drop clients after they won an important 2nd Amendment Supreme Court case.
“I nominate the law firm of Kirkland & Ellis, from WSJ, “The firm has rewarded partner Paul Clement for his triumph Thursday in the big New York gun-rights case by telling him to drop his gun clients or leave the firm.”
Also, there were many personal, smaller nominations.
“To the mice who decided to build a nest in my outdoor AC condenser and chew the wires with their gnarly little teeth,” said Matt Latourette. “They made my AC go out5 on the hottest day of the year and cost me $1,000 to repair. Nah to you, you little beady-eyed vermin.”
But if Greece goes through on its threats to use their government hammer to crush those who support the Moutza, that must take precedent, even over the foul mouth of Mayor Phallus Maximus.
I haven’t read of pro-Moutza outrage. Yet, if Larry Sakellaris is right, if the Greek City Times is correct and Greece is trying to kill the Moutza, the world is in deep, deep yogurt.
Hey Greece? Have you forgotten the heroes of the past? Are you willing to crawl into a bloodless future like Betas, into a world where Newspeak rules the minds of humankind?
Have you forgotten that Leonidas refused to kneel to Xerxes and saved the Western World?
There are many here in America who refuse to kneel. We are not all beholden to the Xi Jinping NBA. We’re not all sports reporters covering for the Chinese slave state that manufactures Nike shoes in the slave labor camps. We’re Americans. In just a few days, we’ll celebrate our Independence Day. Some of us will rememher that Greece has given us so much, from democracy, to the primacy of the individual. A few of us haven’t forgotten that you are the root from which this great nation began.
Greeks, my brothers. Stand up on your feet like men. Get your skata together. Remember who you are. Reject the Idiocracy of the Karens.
I do hope the news is wrong, and that you’re not trying to kill the Moutza. If it is wrong, send me a statement, and we’ll lift a glass to freedom.
But for now Greek government and until then, until you grow many a pair, look up at that bright golden light bathing your faces. You see it? It’s the Golden Moutza of June. And it belongs to you. Only you can decide not to accept it, by restoring the Moutza of our ancestors.
And until then…
Blow on it.
You were once heroes, remember? You fought the Turks. You fought the Axis powers. You fought Hitler’s invasion of Crete with your hands and farm tools, chopping German paratroopers as they hit the ground.
Remember “Freedom or Death?” It is the Freedom to Moutza.
(Copyright 2022 John Kass)
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