By John Kass

Dec. 4, 2024

Sorry! I apologize for being late with November’s Moutza, but there are excuses.

For example, the Ohio woman who killed and ate a cat. The psycho who inspired many political memes, much Democrat anguish and MAGA laughs has finally been sentenced.

“To me, you present quite a danger to our community,” Stark County Common Pleas Judge Frank Forchione told Allexis Ferrell, 27, the Massillon Independent reported.

“This is repulsive to me. I mean that anyone would do this to an animal. And an animal’s like a child. I don’t know if you understand that or not,” the judge said. “I can’t express the disappointment, shock, disgust that this crime has brought to me.”

Me? I, too, find it repulsive. And I’m disgusted on behalf of my good friend Jeff Carlin, co-host of the Chicago Way podcast, the best producer in Chicago and a celebrated cat lover.

He’s gone out of his way to care for felines, and though we don’t share a common affection for the creatures, he is my friend.

Also, former Cook County State’s Attorney’s Devine, O’Malley, Daley, and Alvarez attended the swearing in ceremony for the swearing in for new prosecutor Eileen Burke.

But did prominent leftists in Chicago show up to wave bye-bye to outgoing Soros prosecutor Zero Kim Foxx?

I mean did the pro-Soros Marxist leaders of the Chicago Tribune Guild show up? Or their ankle biting cheerleader Eric Zorn show up to hold hands with guild boss/political Soros hack Greg Pratt?

Nah.

“And I didn’t see (Chief Judge) Tim Evans, nor Boss Toni Preckwinkle” said a prominent retired judge.

Well, perhaps the machine Democrats who are most responsible for violent crime in Cook County were hiding along the baseboards in the manner of vermin.

Cockroaches and mice.

Nah! and Nah!

“To the American universities, and parents raising snowflakes, that supplied milk, cookies, and therapy dogs to help their delicate young’uns cope with the election. US education at its finest. Nah!!!”  said Timm Schwartz.

Like the left wing multi-million dollar “journos” at MSNBC and CNN?

“Obama should get the Moutza this month,” writes Joe Mulka, “Slick Barack was the one who put Kamala in the forefront.”

Joe, I agree that Obama is one slick silky with a forked tongue. And the Moutzatution is clear that former presidents are exempt.

But I have something for Big O, and he won’t like it. You’ll have to read my Sunday column at https://johnkassnews.com/

You all know how this works. Toward the end of the month readers find me on social media and nominate their most worthy idiots. These noble souls do great honor to my Hellenic ancestors who invented the moutza flinging street cinders and animal skat at the worst of the criminally condemned: hence the wide-open palm of the moutza.

“The Golden Moutza should be given to the campaign staff responsible for orchestrating the worst presidential campaign in history,” says Dino Costa. “Record expenses for the least results. A dismal failure by all measures. I am grateful and thankful.”

I’m grateful for the boxed wine in her fridge, lubricating her tongue to unleash her many idiotic thoughts that were defended by legacy corporate media.

And when Kamala speaks, the donkey breaks wind.

“I would like to nominate the legacy media, both tv and written, for their coverage of 2024 election,” writes Bob Boren. “Their biased coverage for the far left and liberal candidates was unprofessional and unethical. They clearly stated opinion disguised as actual news and didn’t label their coverage as opinion and/or commentary.

“Fortunately US citizens finally woke up and tuned them out and sought out alternate sources of the news (like JohnKassnews.com) and voted based on what was important to them not the media. So, NAH to the Legacy Media, blow on it. It’s amusing now that they are in panic mode now trying to figure out what they did wrong. It shouldn’t be that hard. Just start listening to the people instead of dictating to them.”

Thanks Bob Boren.

The times they are a changin’.

Except in Chicago. The city by the lake is the city of corrupt Democrat politics, a thoroughly broken corporate legacy media and lawlessness presented by pro-Soros hacks.

“I nominate MSNBC for their headline stating Jose Ibarra “Never had a chance,” says reader Sue Hill Schwab.

“The prosecution had a rock-solid case against this piece of garbage, only lacking a video of him actually killing beautiful Laken. Just despicable.”

“We should be so thankful this Thanksgiving for so many things.” writes Bruce Kline. “One of which is how we are so fortunate to live in this great country. But also let us not forget that we also, this very month, have a wealth of candidates for the Golden Moutza. I am overwhelmed. But in the interest of brevity, I will mention two who are so deserving. First, “respected” pollster Ann Selzer who sensed that Kamala might need some help, so despite common sense saying otherwise, she came out with her final poll showing remarkably enough that – wonders of wonders – Kamala was in fact ahead of Donald Trump in deep red Iowa.

“And of course the water carriers in the legacy media picked up on this intriguing finding and spread the word that Kamala was ahead in Iowa, so that must mean Kamala was ahead in so many other red states. Kamala was going to win, so all is good, come on out folks and send the Orange Man scurrying away for good. But alas it was all a lie. And of course, Ann Selzer has now retired from polling, but her stupendous polling fiasco had nothing to do with her retirement. Of course. Ann is on record saying she can’t figure out what went wrong. Well, how’s this Ann: Nah to you. Feesah etho. That’s what went wrong.

But not to be outdone by Ann we have fired (presumably) FEMA worker Marn’i Washington who on a mission of help in hurricane ravaged Florida told her staff to ignore any homes displaying Donald Trump for President yard signs. How helpful Marn’i. And here’s some help for you Marn’i: Nah, Feesah etho. “

“I nominate JB Pritzker,” writes Robert Javor, “who will fight against the incoming administration to protect illegal aliens, criminal or not, thereby jeopardizing much needed government funding to Illinois. NAH!!!”

Such a macho tough guy snarling “You’ve got to come through me.” Hard to believe Gov. Fat Boy is so fat that he broke his leg simply by standing on it.

And he says he didn’t know what happened, or how it broke.

Really? Have another six or seven double cheeseburgers and lecture Illinois taxpayers on not being wasteful.

Nah!

“PRITZKER nahh!!!” said Agatha Mantanes.

“I nominate as a singular group all those in the EVIL CABAL who have hidden and continue to hide behind the scenes in Washington DC and other dank places,” writes Kathleen Sawicki. Those of little minds have tried to ruin our great country with the false rhetoric of DEI and defunding law and order in the name of justice and equity, open borders with human/drug trafficking, weaponized government, a man-made pandemic, censorship, massaged stats/media that point to everything’s being “fine,” gender doublespeak, lawfare, condemnation of our best ally in the Middle East, countless U.S. tax dollars being spent on another hopeless war overseas, our once great cities crumbling before our eyes,

“And the worst presidential candidate in my time (Kamala Harris), if not EVER. There are many in this group who could stand on his/her own due to egregious deeds, but far too many to leave even one of them out! NAH! The Golden Hand should be used to spank them all because being banished to a dark corner just doesn’t seem appropriate. ”

“Moutza to village idiots of Oak Park, who bought a stainless-steel monolith with “Hate Has No Home Here” carved in 12 languages outside Village Hall,” writes always prescient reader Tom Winike. “That money should have been spent on sufficient funding for police. Two village trustees demanded defunding at board meetings in 2021, and later they put defunding on a losing referendum. Maybe if they supported their own police, Detective Allan Reddins would still be alive. Feesah Etho!”

Is there a town that embraces stupid leftist virtue signaling better than does Oak Park? No. There is a reason so many newspaper reporters wanted to live there. FEEESAHHH! So precious. So pathetic. Hate has no home here? My ass. Same town that puts up viaducts to stop West Side blacks from driving through.

“Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family John. I would like to nominate what I consider a person that could win the award every month,” says Pete Sremac.

“The mayor of Chicago doesn’t disappoint when it comes to stupidity. His nonsensical replies to tough questions about his administration’s failures are just the beginning. Even the City Council has had enough when they voted 50-0 to reject his $300 million property tax increase.

I thought his predecessor was bad, but this is truly a hold my beer moment. I do not have enough hands to give Mayor BJ the proper Moutza he deserves. NAH!”

Thanks Peter. Question: Where are the Democrats who installed Mayor Panic Attacks in office?

They’re nowhere, man.

“It’s Thanksgiving,” says Ken Frantzen. Thankfully, Harris Democrats are trying to figure why she is a turkey.”

William G. Demitroulas gives a blanket Moutza to the leftists who dress up and play pretend while demanding we march politically with them.

“I love listening to people who make a living pretending to be someone else in front of a camera. Such an honorable profession deserving of so much respect.”

“I gotta go with Woke Hollywood en masse,” says Pat Hickey. “Feesah Etho!!! Y’all! When are you whiney clowns gonna drift?”

The left—in Hollywood and in newspapers—lives to be noticed. So, don’t. I don’t.

Nancy Trainor “So many good nominations! I go with Sharon Stone, Alec Baldwin and the killers of peanut and his racoon brother. Honorable mention to Kamala Harris for her drunken rant.”

And thanks to her boxed wine.

“I nominate James Carville,” writes Leo Manta. “He assured the country that Kamala would sweep the election by millions of votes! DUH! Guess his polls were just a wee bit off!!”

“Definitely Gov JB for saying “a happy warrior is still a warrior” after President Trump’s big election win,” writes Jennifer Husak Boehm. “Like anyone in the government is going to be afraid of him when they’re following US immigration law?? Nah!!!! The people have spoken.”

“A less political submission for this month’s candidates,” from reader Bruce Vee. “If it were possible to make these things stick to the faceless marketing people who, in their lust for “scooping” the competition, have extended “black Friday” from the day after Thanksgiving shopping free-for-all into “black Friday week.” Besides the obvious lack of clarity for which day it actually falls on (Black Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) we also haven’t been given proper guidance about the observation of this proclaimed span of days. Is it the week prior to Thanksgiving week? Is it the week after? What to wear during this pagan event? Mix this all in with the additional confusion caused by “Cyber Monday” or “Giving Tuesday,” I find myself confused considerably. What federal statute am I in violation of should I purchase an electronic device on Giving Tuesday? Does my wearing of black garments negate the effects of buying on Cyber Monday? The list of uncertainties goes on and on.

And to this spaghetti bowl of merchandising, I submit a hearty NAH! Feesah! Begone with the craziness.”

Indeed.

But I keep clicking on 150 cool gifts.

Nah to me.

James Gianukos:

“I nominate the DNC for their magnificent contributions to making the Trumpster President of the United States.

Jeff Alan:

“I was going for Ann Selzer with her sellout politically motivated gaslighting of her poll in Iowa that showed Harris winning by 3 points but the losing by like 15 points! However, O may have to with Matt Eberflus for the worst time management I have ever seen.

John Dyslin:

“Or the murderous bureaucrats of NY that killed an innocent squirrel and raccoon because they could? Nah to NY government bureaucrats:

Owners of beloved Peanut the squirrel plan to sue New York state over seizure and killing by authorities.”

Matt Latourette:

” The US farm industry groups need a moutza. They elect trump then after the election they ask trump to not deport their workforce. Should have thought about that before the election.

Deport them and let Americans do that work.

Ooops!

And here comes Bruce Vee with a two-fer!!!

“Although it is pointless to nominate the reverend John Kass, his doppelganger, Mr. Thanksgiving Advice Man deserves a mention. In hoping one day to host my favorite columnist, I find Mr. Turkey Advice Dude’s culinary observations defining a more refined palate. This continued discussion further elevates his expectations from my meager abilities. Apple wood smoked marinated pork chops seem so mundane compared to his educated buds. Who takes an ordinary hot dog and renders it into a work of art? Nobody I know from da Sout side. So, in full understanding that “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounce off me and sticks to you.” I still suggest Turkey Dude for the win. Nah for making me feel like Chef Boyardee is still a delicacy.”

No comment except to say I’ve been asked to write a cookbook.

Frank A. Icuss

“Have a good day, John. A pox on hate. Happy Thanksgiving John. What’s with all of your angry republicans? They won, they need to accept victory and embrace the rest and hope and pray for calm. If they won’t, Moutza them.”

Ok. Chill my Republican and Democrat friends. And lift a toast to each other. (It would be nice if I had another bottle of Frank Icuss’ superb, dry Democrat red.)

Christine Morley: I see double nominees. So many worthy candidates. My pick is the anti-Illinois taxpayer Governor Jelly Belly and his equally tone-deaf political pal Mayor BLM Brandon. Two disgraceful polls with little respect for our constitution or citizens. NAH!

Kelly McCarthy:

Moutza to Kim Fox

Anastasia Terovolas: To all the celebrities who are theoretically leaving the country now that Trump has been elected.

Michael Stefani: “Blue teams’ losers; too easy. Moutza goes to Matt Gaetz not entirely discredited except for being the GOP’s #1 love to hate villain.

David Kleckner: The Butterball Turkey Hotline. I tried calling to ask about our governor, and they had no answers for that. Nah!

Robert Zaleski: “Sharon Stone……She should have kept both her legs, and her mouth shut…”

NAH.

I’m sure her kids are so proud of their mommy.

Lin Feddor Cappozzo:

“Did anyone nominate Jussie Smollett? Seriously overturning his conviction? Gee it’s like it never happened. Could this be the long arm of the Obamas?”

The Golden Moutza of November must go to the most worthy: Kim Foxx, the now gone Cook County non-prosecutor and Soros prosecutor zero, and the Chicago Tribune Guild, which ran to Soros and piteously clasped his knees as they helped kill a once-great newspaper.

Two hands. Nah! and Nah!

Take them and blow on them.

Don’t forget, stay tuned for Obama on Sunday here at johnkassnews.com

And while you’re waiting why not do some Christmas shopping for cool gifts? Love that No Chumbolone Zone cap and the mugs, waiting to be filled with good Midwestern common sense.

 

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